Do You Ever See Elderly People Being Labeled As Grouchy or Nasty, But They Are Really Nice People?

I know an older lady in her mid-90s, who was always quite eccentric. As she got older and older she became more and more so, and was even what her husband described as 'cantankerous'. If someone said something she that she didn't agree with or like, she would get up and stomp off out of the room. But if you stayed on her 'good' side, she was sweet as pie.
 

My father was a very "nice guy" to outsiders. But staying on his good side meant 1) doing exactly as he ordered you to do 2) never disagreeing 3) justifying what you did with your time. Consequently me and my siblings often avoided him for very long, extended periods of time. But relatives would say "aaaaw, he's your father, and he's old". Pffft. :rolleyes:
 
My brother in law's dad was estranged from both his children. He changed his will and when he died all his money went to his caretaker. Of course the kids were quite upset and seemed baffled, but they had avoided him for years.
 
My dad played the will-changing game several times. We always ignored it. It's not like he was Bill Gates. It got to where he was spending almost as much on attorneys than what he had in his estate. :lofl:

Spending time with someone just so they will keep you in the will is just as bad as changing the will every time someone makes you angry or doesn't do what you want. That game never worked with me.
 
ndynt said:
Working with very ill/dying hospice patients for the last 15 years of my career.......still found that despite how old they were...for the most part they were all inspiring and sweet.
All were able to bring something into my life...even if it was just to be able get they and their families in an accepting place. Never had a patient that I could not hold their hand through their last moments, with sincerity.
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Nona, I've quoted part of your reply. A part I understand well. I volunteered for hospice work after retiring. And you are so very right ... "all were able to bring something into my life" ... for me it was to lose any fear of death.
 
That is a great poem. Goes beyond gender. Still living on my own, so not involved with an outside caretaker. The parts about living in your memories, really resonated. No matter how loving, others can never really know what's going on inside you.
At any rate, I'm a nice guy. Whoever gets stuck with seeing me off is in for a treat. :woohoo:
 
Rocky said:
Nona, I've quoted part of your reply. A part I understand well. I volunteered for hospice work after retiring. And you are so very right ... "all were able to bring something into my life" ... for me it was to lose any fear of death.
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I think that unless you have been involved in hospice it is difficult to understand just how rewarding it can be, Rocky.
 
Let's be perfectly clear.. there is a HUGE difference in a hospice situation, and an acute care situation. Acute care nurses see people at their sickest and crabbiest for very short periods of time, usually for only one or two days.. There is no time to develop the lovely relationship and the "getting to know and love" a really sweet and lovely person... Inpatient care is get 'em in.. save their lives.. and move 'em out.. period.. Acute care nurses are so incredibly busy running from one emergency to the next... there's very little touchie feelie going on that hospice nurses get to enjoy. It's an entirely different scenario.
 
My mom spent her last few years in a nursing home. She was well taken care of and seemed happy there, though she gradually lost the ability to communicate and eventually didn't recognize her children. I was touched that many of her caregivers attended her funeral and expressed to me their love for her. It takes a special person to do this type of work.
 
Glinda said:
My mom spent her last few years in a nursing home. She was well taken care of and seemed happy there, though she gradually lost the ability to communicate and eventually didn't recognize her children. I was touched that many of her caregivers attended her funeral and expressed to me their love for her. It takes a special person to do this type of work.
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Well, fortunately in nursing, there are "special" people working in all the separate areas.. It is true.. not everyone can handle long term care and nursing home environments.. however, not everyone can handle the highly technical, fast paced and stressful environment of acute care. We do need all kinds of nurses.. don't we.
 
QuickSilver said:
Well, fortunately in nursing, there are "special" people working in all the separate areas.. It is true.. not everyone can handle long term care and nursing home environments.. however, not everyone can handle the highly technical, fast paced and stressful environment of acute care. We do need all kinds of nurses.. don't we.
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Yes we do. My wife was a forty year diabetic, went through surgeries, dialysis for four years, physical rehab for months, then intensive care, and finally in hospital hospice. At every stage, we found the most caring people you are ever going to meet.
Eleanor actually enjoyed the contact with many of her care givers. I am forever in their debt. Often maligned, but better people than I, by far.
 
DoItMyself said:
Yes. A good friend who passed last summer was a crusty old curmudgeon, but once you knew how to handle him he was one of the kindest people imaginable. He was a cattleman and farmer, and when he died he left an incredible amount to charity.
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That right there says it all. People no longer take the time to get to know people and find out why they're the way they are. They make snap assumptions and judgments and break out the labels right away. Some folks have lived hard lives and as they age that life isn't getting any easier. People need to get to know others and quit assuming they know diddly squat about someone.
 
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