Do You Feel Guilty....?

Brookswood said:
I see that my attempt at being humorous by taking and extreme opposite view was a failure. My apologies. I was attempting to make fun of all those people who think retired folks have nothing to fill up their hours with. We just sit on the porch in our rocking chairs waiting for time to pass. Of course, I realize you and the rest of us can be as busy as we wish to be. My apologies for the misunderstanding.
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I got it the first time Brookswood. Maybe you should use more smilies, particularly rolleyes.:rolleyes: :lol:
 

To be honest, I often wonder why people complain (or they sound like they're complaining) about how busy they are, busier than when they worked? if that what one chooses to make of their retirement, so-be-it, but to be a busy person and complain or expect sympathy is ridiculous.

When retired, aside from crippling illness of some sort, most of us could and should be as busy as we choose. Sometimes we are caught up in family situations where our help is needed and we have to forego our own pleasure and shoulder a bit of the load for a short period. isn't that what families are about?

Some of my days I'm busy and others are highlighted by a good afternoon nap. My point is that the choice is mine and I needn't complain about sleeping to much or being too busy, at least IMHO.:)
 

I think that all day long we prioritize just as we did when we were working. I choose to be busy I always did but the activities may have changed a bit over the years, eg I no longer dance but I do knit lace. I am in a position where I can juggle priorities yet stay busy. I would love to be able to stop in the afternoon and take a nap in the afternoon especially as my doctor has been trying to get me to do that for some time but it just doesn't work for me, I get impatient watching the clock.

My activities are decided by my pain level at the time, yesterday apart from the usual stuff I baked a ton of shortbread and did a lot of embroidery, not a very active day. Today I have shoveled snow twice, that's pretty amazing for me but tomorrow I will pay for that. If I needed to baby sit a grandchild I would do so but it would be on the clear understanding that the activities would be what I was capable of on that day. If I had to run around after them it is likely I would struggle but if we could paint , read, bake or do crafts I would in all probability be OK.

I think we need to consider these things before we say yes or no to babysitting.I would not be able to do it on a regular basis but in an emergency I would cope even if I paid dearly for it the next few days.

I would never complain about being busy, it is the way I choose to live, I enjoy a busy life...and I do have a crippling illness but one does what one can up to ones own limit
 
"NO!" is a very freeing word. I am learning to use it more often. Of course one can soften the No in the way it's said. There's no need to feel guilty, especially when one feels that he/she is being taken advantage of, taken for granted or being made a fool of. My neighbor-friend directly in the apartment over mine is about 76 years old. She started watching her grandson about a year and a half ago when he was barely two. His parents bring him here every day rather than put him into a pre-school. I don't think that's fair to my neighbor or the child. She's good because I wouldn't do it. She said she was going to tell them to put him in pre-school by this past September but apparently either she didn't or they couldn't get him in somewhere. One has to start real early around here to find daycare for children.
 
I babysit my great grandson on Wednesdays and his maternal grandmother does so on Fridays. The other days he goes to preschool. I guess it depends on why they are asking you to babysit. Are they working low wage jobs or living in an area where living expenses are out of sight. Preschool has become very expensive and may really strap a young couple for cash. I have no problem saying no when it seems appropriate to me. I also have no problem saying Yes when I feel it's indicated
 
I'm not sure what to think about this. I use to keep my GDs 9&11 every other weekend. They were learning to cook and help me do things but meanwhile they spent a lot of time on the two pc's so I didn't have to entertain them all the time. The oldest had trouble keeping up with her type 1 diabetes and get her dad all upset and to tell the truth I couldn't keep up either. My son got upset with me about it, but it didn't keep him from letting them spend five days during the holidays. So now it's been a month since. I've called and talked to them and mentioned their coming to visit but that's all I've gotten. I've seen son twice since then, but if the subject is raised he says something offhand and it's dropped. I did ask him to ask the kids if they want to come or not but not just to make me happy but will he tell me if they said no? I'm just short of asking point blank but having reservations because I may not really want to know the answer. :( Also, the girls are getting to the age where they might not want to spend time with a boring 70s something old woman but have other interests now.
 
It all depends on the individuals, situation, one's personal code etc. I will say be careful about making open ended courtesy offers that most never collect on. Don't let anyone take you for granted. It's not one's job to watch the grandkids it's one's kindness.
 

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