Do you feel that others understand you?

M

Marv Malone

Member
Location
midwest USA
You think people really get what you say and mean? Family, friends, strangers?
Forum acquaintances? People say that they understand all the time, but they don't
know what it means to you, the reasons, feelings. Not just the words you utter.
People overthink and never actually understand, or care to, I think.
I don't mean doctors.
 
I do believe that is especially true when reading something over vocal conversations.
If I am in a bad mood when on here I will avoid threads I know will tick me off.
When speaking person to person you can tell if they are into what you are talking about
by facial expressions or no eye to eye contact and their voice or lack of it. Even if they are nodding head
and saying "Sure".

It's a rough world out there right now. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I do hugely
blame the cell phone, that is one object you can not compete with. I will take to heart someone's experience
stories over Google or AI any day.
 
I have some long term friends and family members that understand how I feel about the things in life that matter. They generally know what to expect from me, and vice versa. We do not agree on all matters, but we manage to either work past our differences, or avoid arguments over them.
 
i very rarely feel like i'm ever understood. i feel like people just nod their heads and say ok but deep down have no clue. when they're not doing that they're snapping at me cuz they think i mean something else other than what i said. it's getting worse as time goes on and it's becoming a real pita trying to talk to people.
 
Marv Malone said:
You think people really get what you say and mean? Family, friends, strangers?
Forum acquaintances? People say that they understand all the time, but they don't
know what it means to you, the reasons, feelings. Not just the words you utter.
People overthink and never actually understand, or care to, I think.
I don't mean doctors.
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I think so yes mostly. Not always, especially with strangers or online. Then I just have to say it differently or let it go if it doesn't matter.

My brother, when I still lived at home, would always just sense and know. He wouldn't have to talk. I just sensed how he felt and he had that too, which is great.

I sometimes sense stuff, upcoming conflict, not with me, but others having conflict with each other.

Ages ago my ex mil. I had to think about a book in which someone flipped out. And then my ex said: Maybe you can go sit next to her. Are you crazy? No way. And yup she flipped out but I sat elsewhere. I knew it. With my dad. He didn't sense that stuff and I wasn't clear. Lets go there and ask for something. Lets not do that. Oh come on. No don't. So he just went, asked for a chair and there was a gigantic clash. Why didn't you warn me? I said no. Lol. I just assumed that others could also just sense that cause to me it was so obvious.
 
I think my family and close friends understand where I'm coming from when I express an opinion. I'm not shy. However, I do know when NOT to express an opinion if it would lead to a confrontation.

My BIL and his partner are polar opposites politically, so we just discuss old times and things we have in common. After 30 years, if politics never entered the conversation there is no reason it should now.

In all other conversations, I try to listen more than talk. It always helps to gain an understanding of where the other person is coming from. The old saying goes, "The most interesting people are those who are interested in others".
 
I am very direct in most conversations with people I know so if someone doesn't understand me, it's because they aren't listening. Oftentimes, people just don't want to hear the facts or your true feelings (I am not referring to politics or religion). They are just asking to make themselves look good or feel better and don't really want to know your answer. And there are times when I don't want someone to "understand" me.

I am pretty good at seeing into others' intentions and understanding what they really mean. Not an empath but I do get human nature. In younger days, I would confront them but as I have aged, I have learned to keep things to myself and use greater caution in interactions.

A person can't get your goat if you don't tell them where it's tied.
 
CinnamonSugar said:
I know I often come across as socially awkward but it is frustrating when, on the one hand, I try to explain something in detail and itā€™s routine that people will interrupt or talk over meā€¦. So I clam up and then they say, ā€œwhy is she so quiet?ā€ šŸ™„
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I will fight to be heard and understood by the people that I care about. I donā€™t care if they agree with me as long as they understand what Iā€™ve said.

I pretty much tune out the rest of the world and go about my business.
 
Since I pretty much live outside society's norms, I don't expect to be understood by anyone. I have a few friends, my children, my brother and sometimes my mother that seem to understand me for the most part. When I am intermingling with everyday people I keep the conversation pretty average and mostly avoid giving an opinion on anything that could be considered substantial. So in the public's eye I'm a pretty friendly guy. Not trying to deceive or hide things from people, just avoiding awkward and difficult.

No, I'm not a sociopath, deviant, pervert, or criminal, but perhaps just a little bit weird in a good way;)
 
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