Do you get tried of everything being your responsbility.

B

Blessed

Well-known Member
I am just in the middle of a whole bunch of things that need to be done at the house. Get a plumber to fix some issues, find a new cook top and get it installed. I need new carpet in my bedroom. I have got to get set up with medicare and the setup for my federal coverage to become my secondary. That means doing a deep dive into what doctors and hospitals I will have available.

The dogs need to get into the vet for their yearly check ups and meds. I can'take them all at the same time, so that will be 3 trips back and forth.

I need to have someone come and trim my large trees to get branchs away from the roof and cut back from hanging over the edge of the street.

I have already dealt with two accounts regarding money to generate some profit. I have a 3rd one yet to do. I just do not feel good about the market right now. In the old days, I did notthink of it often because it was doing well but we all were there in 08 and have suffered furher losses in the last few years.

I am just sick of being the only one having to learn all about these things and make sure I am doing the right things. I am tried of dealing with fixing things at the house, I don't like strangers in my home.I have the same local companies for years but you never know if they might get a bad employee.

The anxiety over this stuff is making me physically ill! Do you wish that someone would come in and put everything order when there is so much to do. I know, I know, take it one chore at a time, it is just depressing. I was not supposed to be a widowed so young. I have had all of this on my shoulders for so long and I am just tired. Thanks for letting me fuss!!
 

Calm, deep breathing with slow outs. Now just realize you are not alone.

Now if you abide by alcohol, a pen with THC, whatever do it now.

No one cares ..... if a tree falls in the forest with no one to hear it not a sound, does it make. no one cares ..... haha....


Tomorrow will be more of the same. .... no one will care then either. ... another tree may fall ,,,, same response....:ROFLMAO:

Have a good laugh on yourself, abide by another shot of whatever you like. no one cares ..... do a nice vacation, change......

When it comes to investments, you got 1 of 2 choices, believe or do not believe. The Leader says she doesn't know what to do.
Do the opposite. if she lowers the interest rates, invest. if she raised them sell. its a no brainer. nothing she does that ups stuff
will do you any good.

It's the same with our Economy. Everything the Government does creates a slush fund that Billionaires float away and becomes just a total loss.
So, follow the demand. Demand is what drives the market including world wide so pay attention.

Obviously,(n) the opposite to all I said is managed living in a good care facility.. .....(n)
 

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When I was married everything was my responsibility and there were 2 of us to take care of plus I had to compromise on things. Now my life is much easier since I only have to take care of myself and the dogs plus I get to make all the decisions.

I have taken 3 dogs to the vet at once and it’s not fun. Now I only have 2. Sorry you are having a challenging time. Things will get better.
 
Thanks Devi, Blessed I been worried about the market, but it seems to be coming back up, near 25%. See The Federal eases interest rates and boom we're off to the races & "drive by" huge inflation profits. People were forced to stay at home, lives were screwed for near on 2 years. Life is becoming normal again and is moving on despite all the naysaying bad mouthing. Chill and you ok! It has been a couple of the most awful years of my life also. I didn't like a lot of it at all! Hang in there!

All the Tension caused a lot of physical problems for the many, its been hell for the healthy to have the unhealthy fall apart too.

The sad part are the ones who were shut, out of work, lost, Companies declaring bankruptcy because o the awful Pandemic and decisions made. Hang in there.
 
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Shouldering the responsibility for everything by yourself is a heavy load. It's one thing after another, and it's always something. In the scheme of things, it doesn't take long to become overwhelmed by it all. I know how you feel, my friend. What else can you do when there's no one you can turn to or depend on? You have no alternative but to just do the best you can and try to figure it out by yourself. It really does take its toll. Fortunately, you're at least in a financial position to be able to afford to hire people to do things, and there's a lot to be said for that.

I'm sick of it, too. If I were younger, I'd chuck it all and run away with the circus.

I might add that for all the stress you're under and the anxiety you're suffering, you're also rising to the challenge and doing it; you're taking care of it all. I know you're tired; believe me, I get it. You are an amazing, capable woman, despite the way you're feeling. You can take pride in that. You've got friends who don't mind if you vent whenever you feel the need. Now, take a deep breath, @Blessed; you've got this. 🤗
 
Blessed said:
"take it one chore at a time"
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Blessed, I think you have the best advice for your situation. I suppose it's just natural that we get overwhelmed when we think in totalities, instead of individual things. So, as much as possible, try to not go there. Also, your name here suggests that you feel blessed, so try to keep your mind on all the things you have in your life that you can be thankful for, and do it often. Play uplifting music and read encouraging things (You are what you eat). I hope it will help, and you always have us for a little support. Just keep telling yourself you're going to be OK, and you will be.
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Many years ago, when we were in business and I had loads of responsibility at work and home with my mom, learned that thinking about what you have to do over and over is way worse than tackling it. Its like having to do it over and over again. Suggest you make a list and draw a line through each thing you have done. This makes you proud of your accomplishments instead of reliving them again and again...talk about feeling tired!
 
I am right along with you on these things. There are brokers who can sign you up for medicare and there is no fee. It might be something you do just to remove that task from your list. I try to prioritize things but at some point I have to face them. I do put things out of my mind that aren't an immediate problem.

The market is something that drives me batty. Usually you see an inverse relationship between bonds and stocks and that has not been the case. At least not in the way it typically was in the past.

I prune all the branches I can myself. I hired someone to prune the tree that was closest to the house last summer. Felt better after I did that.

I hate doing it all sometimes. I found that if I can become engrossed in something, I can forget about all the other stuff that raises my anxiety level. So maybe you can find a good show on Netflix and treat yourself to an escape for a while.
 
Why do so many of us old folks obsess about investments? Is it really worth the effort to seek out a way to squeeze another 1/2% return? You know you can't take it with you, and most likely that extra 1/2% (or so) will not make one bit of difference in your remaining years.

And please don't bother to point out how that extra 1/2% or so, compounded blah, blah, blah. I know how the numbers work.

Happy New Year.
 
My Great Grandad would have asked you a question.... " How do you eat an Elephant all by yourself?.... One piece at a time?
The best advice I can give is to take a minute to look around, I'm sure you can find someone that would love to trade spots and perceived troubles with you. I'm sure you wouldn't want to trade with me....
 
Do I get tired of the responsibility of living alone? No. I was born with an independent streak or as some people call me a PIA. Also I was a nurse. That was a great training ground. Say you visited great aunt Sophie in the hospital, and the AC wasn't working. Did you take the elevator to the basement, find the hospital engineer and complain? No, you walked to the nurse's station, and complained. Having responsibility is like being an old fire horse when the bell goes off.
Of course, I never said I didn't get totally flabbergasted at times, either.
 
Teacher Terry said:
When I was married everything was my responsibility and there were 2 of us to take care of plus I had to compromise on things.
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That's the way it is with most married couples of my acquaintance, even the retired ones; seems to me, around here anyway, that the wives do almost all of the work, while the husbands pursue hobbies or complain about being bored.

My case is not that extreme, my husband takes care of everything outside while I take care of everything inside; but as we all know, the inside chores are a lot more than just cooking and cleaning; you've also got laundry, paying bills and balancing checkbooks, getting tax stuff ready, keeping track of appointments, prescriptions, scheduling repairpeople visits, etc, keeping track of family birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, etc.

He keeps refusing to move to a smaller place with fewer outside chores (yard work) because he says he enjoys doing stuff outside. And I think that's the truth but I think at least one of the reasons he enjoys the outside stuff is because it's not "housework."

So my heart does go out to anyone having to do this all by yourself (for whatever reason). And it reinforces my plan that if my huzz goes first, I am going to get myself into the smallest little rental place I can find without all the darn stuff to do, I am so tired of this way of life. (I just hope that waiting lists for places like that get a little shorter by then.)
 
officer Ribley, I was really happy to get rid of my house and buy a condo. At 855 sq ft it’s easy for me to keep it neat and clean all the time so it’s my sanctuary. Although I joined the hoa board so now hear all the problems for 150 people:)). Although, that I can quit someday and be blissfully ignorant.
 
is:
Do you get tried of everything being your responsbility.

should be:
I get tired now of everything being my responsibility. How about you?

As a long time married person now alone, you depended on your husband for many things as it ought be. Those in your position have an understandable reason to feel so thus will need more help from others that many others do not. Generally, many successful unmarried adult individuals always living alone like this person, tend to learn how to cope with a broad range issues by themselves independently. However we humans are a social species that are generally better off, more likely successful, and stronger, working together cooperatively with others.

Best of luck @Blessed , hoping you can find that help from others. Especially look to those in your religious community.
 
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The advice, hire the professional help you need is great.
If you are still in your own home hire the maintenance person to care for it.
If you need cleaning, hire the maid to come in occasionally.
It cost less to hire than move to assisted living usually.
If you need a financial adviser, choose a reliable one you trust.
Create a Journal and follow your thoughts in it.
If you can take a month-long cruise, vacation, refresh the juices, so to speak.
The Boats are full of retirement folk.
 
againstthegrain said:
While me and my wife have our special talents that we depend on each other for I've always tried to be somewhat involved in my blind spots as well as make her aware of what she's going to need to do as a widow, life spans being what they are, likely I will pass first.
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When I first read that, is read Window she would throw you out of. haha ..... :ROFLMAO: .....
 
Yes I get tired of it.. but I just tell myself that I'm grateful for all the things my husband DID do around here , because if I'd been married to a man who did little or no maintenance in this house or on my car.. then I would be in a far sorrier state than I am now..

He was certainly not a person who was ever bored.. for all of his faults.. he was a worker.. and on his days off, he'd maintain this property and the garden, as well as both of our vehicles.. he was never bored.. he had his hobbies as well.. and now he's been gone over 2 years, I can do some of these things myself because I watched and helped him when he was doing them.. ,not as good as him, and I do need to call in people to do things sometimes but I'm just grateful for what I do have...
 
My wife is on a walker, and she spends most of her days in a chair ,I do 99% of the housework ( cook, clean house, wash dishes, wash clothes exc. ,plus outside work, Iet my wife pay the the bills, because I have spent a month at a time in the hospital, been a long time sense I've had to do this, I do have separate bank account, I use for business.
 

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