Do you JADE?

applecruncher

applecruncher

SF VIP
Location
Ohio USA
To JADE is to:

J ustify
A pologize/Argue
D efend
E xplain

I'm not referring to conversations with reasonable people.

I’m referring to instances where someone asks an inappropriate or insulting question, or when they are probing for information, or when they clearly just want to get the other party riled up and keep things going and get the last word in (online or in person).

OR

"AC, can I use your credit card to get a couple new outfits?"

Me: "No."

Notice I didn't say "Sorry" or "I can't" or "I don't have it with me" or "I don't want any more bills."

Just "No." I didn't JADE.

Do you JADE?
 

Yep, I'm afraid I do...altho' I'm getting better at it. I've never been a person who wants the last word when someone is being totally unreasonable or I know they're wrong in what they are making an argument out of...I just stop replying to them and walk away shaking my head....but yes I'm an excuser...''sorry I can't because'' etc... I've never learned to just say an outright 'No'..

However if someone is outright insulting to me for no reason, then they get the same back, in a more deadly retort but wrapped up in sugar . ...making them look foolish and ridiculous to everyone else..
 
Holly, one of, only one...of the things I like about you is your honesty. I have never seen you mean, vindictive or just ugly. That you may let things slide, not respond, ignore some things makes you a lady with class. You never need wrestle in the ditch to be vindicated, being what you've been and continue to be makes you an automatic winner.
 
Sometimes an effective way to respond to an insulting or rude question is a silent stare, or to smile and say “That’s a strange question.” That will often disarm them or leave them trying to put together a coherent reply – if they are capable.

Contrary to what some people like to think, silence is not always “fear”, ignoring someone online or IRL is not “running away”. The message is “This person (or situation) is too ridiculous for me to even spend one more second on.”
 
hollydolly said:
Yep, I'm afraid I do...altho' I'm getting better at it. I've never been a person who wants the last word when someone is being totally unreasonable or I know they're wrong in what they are making an argument out of...I just stop replying to them and walk away shaking my head....but yes I'm an excuser...''sorry I can't because'' etc... I've never learned to just say an outright 'No'..

However if someone is outright insulting to me for no reason, then they get the same back, in a more deadly retort but wrapped up in sugar . ...making them look foolish and ridiculous to everyone else..
Click to expand...

And if you're really good at it, you can let someone know she is an arrogant, insufferable b----h in such a way that there's nothing she can say.:D
 
applecruncher said:
I’m referring to instances where someone asks an inappropriate or insulting question, or when they are probing for information, or when they clearly just want to get the other party riled up and keep things going and get the last word in (online or in person).

OR

"AC, can I use your credit card to get a couple new outfits?"

Me: "No."
Click to expand...

No I don't JADE in a case where someone is inappropriate or insulting, etc. With the credit card, I'd say 'no' and add 'get your own card'. I can easily say no to anyone trying to manipulate, something that came easier with experience over the years. People do try and take advantage of soft targets, sometimes if you're too nice to people, it comes back to bite you. If it's a friend or someone that is reasonable, then I will usually say, no I can't give you a ride now because....and explain it to them.
 
AZ Jim said:
Holly, one of, only one...of the things I like about you is your honesty. I have never seen you mean, vindictive or just ugly. That you may let things slide, not respond, ignore some things makes you a lady with class. You never need wrestle in the ditch to be vindicated, being what you've been and continue to be makes you an automatic winner.
Click to expand...

Well, thank you very much Jim, , you're so kind.. :love_heart:
 

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