Do you like doing this, going to other families' Christmas gatherings?

AprilSun

AprilSun

Senior Member
Do you like going to other families Christmas gatherings? I was asked to go to another families' Christmas where they would be having a meal and exchanging gifts. I told them I would go but the more I thought about it, the more I remembered how "out of place" I felt when I did this before. I took gifts that time but I still felt so out of place. I have declined the invitation now and I'm not regretting it. Do you like going to other families Christmas gatherings?
 

No I don’t like it at all. Christmas is all about family traditions and we each have our own. Trying to fit in to someone else’s lifetime tradition is difficult. When I was 16 I had Christmas at a friends house and I hated it.
 

I have had some great times with family and or friends at Christmas.

What I don't like are the invitations that start out with if you are going to be alone or if you don't have anything better to do.

I prefer to stay home and observe/celebrate Christmas alone as opposed to being the odd duck at someone else's celebration.

Most people don't understand that being alone is not the same as being lonely.
 
No, I was never crazy about parties or gatherings to begin with, I would go to my family's, but had no desire to go to anyone else's.
 
I prefer to spend it with just my family. Since my daughter married her mother in law also comes. She isn't a very pleasant person but I would never say anything so I endure her company. It's still better than going to someone else's house for Christmas.
 
I'm happy to read that others feel the same as I do about family gatherings that aren't my family. I would rather be alone, and that's what I did on Thanksgiving. I will have lunch at an upscale restaurant with my daughter and her family on Christmas.
 
As families grow and the kids marry it gets harder to have everyone together on Christmas Day or Eve. My wife and I have no siblings so our gatherings are just the two of us and our immediate family. As there are in-laws for our kids and grandkids to consider we pick a day close to Christmas (this year on Dec. 29th) and the whole 36 of us will be together. Everyone lives less than two hours of us with the exception of one grandson and his wife. We have a large meal to which they all contribute, exchange gifts, etc. and have a wonderful day.

It was our family's solution to allow all of the (now) married kids and grandkids able to spend Christmas with their other families. This year, with another addition the great grands now number 8.
 
It just depends on the family in question. Some families gather in "strangers" like lost sheep and add them to the fold. You feel like you've been a part of their family forever. Other families, and it's not their fault, don't have that talent.

I remember spending Christmas with the family of a man I was dating. They made me feel very welcome and I was comfortable there. I would have gladly stayed in the family, if they would have gotten rid of him....LOL.
 
AprilSun said:
Do you like going to other families Christmas gatherings? I was asked to go to another families' Christmas where they would be having a meal and exchanging gifts. I told them I would go but the more I thought about it, the more I remembered how "out of place" I felt when I did this before. I took gifts that time but I still felt so out of place. I have declined the invitation now and I'm not regretting it. Do you like going to other families Christmas gatherings?
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It's funny. I am just going through the same thing. A good friend invited me along.

I'm trying to find a way to say, thank you but I have to decline.

I just think family gatherings are for families. I don't feel comfortable so why go?
 
We now go to my daughters for Christmas. I enjoy watching the Grand kids opening their gifts but if it were any other gathering I would much prefer to be alone. I don't know why so many people think it is such a terrible thing for someone to be alone on the holiday and practically insist that you join them more out of sympathy than anything else. I hate having to plaster that stupid smile on my face and look like I'm having a great time when I'd rather be home in my PJ's.
 
Camper6 said:
It's funny. I am just going through the same thing. A good friend invited me along.

I'm trying to find a way to say, thank you but I have to decline.

I just think family gatherings are for families. I don't feel comfortable so why go?
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That's exactly how I feel. I told them I appreciate them thinking of me and then I explained that I felt if I went, I would be crashing it even though they had asked me because I feel that a Christmas family event should be just for their immediate family, spouses, and grandchildren, etc.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I have had some great times with family and or friends at Christmas.

What I don't like are the invitations that start out with if you are going to be alone or if you don't have anything better to do.

I prefer to stay home and observe/celebrate Christmas alone as opposed to being the odd duck at someone else's celebration.

Most people don't understand that being alone is not the same as being lonely.
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Many people just do not get it that you can feel far more alone at a gathering where you are the "odd duck" than you would if you were truly alone at home.
 
Butterfly said:
Many people just do not get it that you can feel far more alone at a gathering where you are the "odd duck" than you would if you were truly alone at home.
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That' exactly how I feel when I've gone to one of these! I did it once and that was my first and last time!
 
I let myself get talked into doing it once, and it was arguably the worst Christmas of my life. It was certainly up there in the top two or three.

Nowdays, if somebody tries to talk me into something like that, I just firmly say I have other plans and refuse to elaborate. Hey, staying home and watching Netflix in your jammies counts as "other plans." no? I don't understand why some people feel compelled to "save" me from a Christmas by myself -- the way some folks act about that is like they feel like Christmas by yourself is akin to being interrogated by the Spanish Inquisition. It isn't.
 
No, I'm not comfortable in other people's homes. Once when I was working far from where I had lived a co-worker stated to someone who was having a big get together they should invite me since I was new in the area. I could see the guy shaking his head and mouthing "no no no" I knew my place already. Had I been a beauty, I'm sure the response would have been "yes yes yes"
 
My close friends Marcia&Dave,their 2 sons,Dave,Jr and Alexei{my movie buddy} 'adopted me' about 8 yrs ago,they are my 'buffalo' family,my siblings live elsewhere.As our friendship grew spending a lot of time together over the yrs,they consider me an' extended family member'
I go to their house{2 blocks away} for dinner and we exchange gifts.The past 2 yrs,its been on Christmas Eve. We enjoy each others company&have lots of laughs
I don't do this with anybody else
On Christmas Day,I'm by myself,prefer it that way.I'll talk to my siblings, spend the day listening to lovely music on our local classical station
 

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