Do you need affirmation after everything you say ?

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
...or know anyone who does?

I know a couple, they're very happily together.. but OMG she drives me nuts. Everything she says, she feels the need to have affirmed by him..

''We were at the park yesterday, weren't we darling? ''... ''it was raining today wasn't it darling?''... we arrived back from holiday a week ago, didn't we honey ?''... ..absolutely everything she says she looks for his affirmation. he doesn't do the same... but also she will imitate everything he says, like she has no mind of her own.. for example..

he might say... Just going to go to the pub.. she'll say'' you should go to the pub....or.. he might say.. '' going to get some jobs done around the place today''.. and she will repeat it.. ..''it would be a good idea for you to do some jobs around here today''...

Anybody else know anyone like this ?
 

...and also it sometimes seems like she has no mind of her own.. in that she might say..as she did today... I'm sure this light will work with the batteries . and he said.. no the batteries are old... and she repeats what he says.. No of course is not going to work the batteries are old.. who would think that would work..

She comes across as some little scared mouse but in fact they both are very outgoing people.. but she just doesn't seem to have her own mind
 

hollydolly said:
...and also it sometimes seems like she has no mind of her own.. in that she might say..as she did today... I'm sure this light will work with the batteries . and he said.. no the batteries are old... and she repeats what he says.. No of course is not going to work the batteries are old.. who would think that would work..

She comes across as some little scared mouse but in fact they both are very outgoing people.. but she just doesn't seem to have her own mind
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It's Ken and Barbie, right? :LOL:
 
Naturally said:
He's trained her well
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there's no fear in her voice... I just don't understand why she feels she needs to be affirmed after every sentence.. equally he can't go anywhere for more than an hour and she 's fretting wondering where he is.. and if he goes to the shed for example.. she has to be there with him...he doesn't ask her, in fact he often says how he would like some space..
 
I knew a guy like this. In casual conversation, he'd very frequently end a statement with "isn't that right, Chris" (Chis was his wife).

It's odd, because he was skilled, well-liked and, in most respects, quite self-confident. I never knew where that came from.🤔 Maybe from some place & time in his life where people didn't believe what he said? Maybe from how his parents talked?
 
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I know an older couple like this... I've always thought he did it to include his wife in the conversation and never considered that he was doing it because he needed affirmation but who knows? Interesting. :unsure: It's like "it was raining hard today, wasn't it, Renee?" Or "we ate at a Mexican restaurant today, didn't we, Renee?" I always had to smile inwardly waiting for her just *once* to say something like "no, that's not right, ya big buffoon!" 🤭
 
CallMeKate said:
I know an older couple like this... I've always thought he did it to include his wife in the conversation and never considered that he was doing it because he needed affirmation but who knows? Interesting. :unsure: It's like "it was raining hard today, wasn't it, Renee?" Or "we ate at a Mexican restaurant today, didn't we, Renee?" I always had to smile inwardly waiting for her just *once* to say something like "no, that's not right, ya big buffoon!" 🤭
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Exactly that ^^^^
 
hollydolly said:
...or know anyone who does?

I know a couple, they're very happily together.. but OMG she drives me nuts. Everything she says, she feels the need to have affirmed by him..

''We were at the park yesterday, weren't we darling? ''... ''it was raining today wasn't it darling?''... we arrived back from holiday a week ago, didn't we honey ?''... ..absolutely everything she says she looks for his affirmation. he doesn't do the same... but also she will imitate everything he says, like she has no mind of her own.. for example..

he might say... Just going to go to the pub.. she'll say'' you should go to the pub....or.. he might say.. '' going to get some jobs done around the place today''.. and she will repeat it.. ..''it would be a good idea for you to do some jobs around here today''...

Anybody else know anyone like this ?
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I've see it as a form of dementia. Has she always been that way?
 
hollydolly said:
...or know anyone who does?

I know a couple, they're very happily together.. but OMG she drives me nuts. Everything she says, she feels the need to have affirmed by him..

''We were at the park yesterday, weren't we darling? ''... ''it was raining today wasn't it darling?''... we arrived back from holiday a week ago, didn't we honey ?''... ..absolutely everything she says she looks for his affirmation. he doesn't do the same... but also she will imitate everything he says, like she has no mind of her own.. for example..

he might say... Just going to go to the pub.. she'll say'' you should go to the pub....or.. he might say.. '' going to get some jobs done around the place today''.. and she will repeat it.. ..''it would be a good idea for you to do some jobs around here today''...

Anybody else know an
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hollydolly said:
...or know anyone who does?

I know a couple, they're very happily together.. but OMG she drives me nuts. Everything she says, she feels the need to have affirmed by him..

''We were at the park yesterday, weren't we darling? ''... ''it was raining today wasn't it darling?''... we arrived back from holiday a week ago, didn't we honey ?''... ..absolutely everything she says she looks for his affirmation. he doesn't do the same... but also she will imitate everything he says, like she has no mind of her own.. for example..

he might say... Just going to go to the pub.. she'll say'' you should go to the pub....or.. he might say.. '' going to get some jobs done around the place today''.. and she will repeat it.. ..''it would be a good idea for you to do some jobs around here today''...

Anybody else know anyone like this ?
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Are they happy together? It sounds like they are. I should try this tactic more myself, but no one would believe it. If they work as a couple what can I say. It's enviable in a way. :)
 
People get together for all kinds of reasons. Often people fill a gap for each other in relationships. It sounds like the people in this couple fill the gap for each other in a mutual agreed way.

Problems arise when the people change, and it's not mutual anymore. It sounds like, for this couple, it still works. She might like getting affirmed; he might like having his opinion be important.

In general, I think it's a nice feeling to be affirmed. Beats the opposite.
 
caramel said:
People get together for all kinds of reasons. Often people fill a gap for each other in relationships. It sounds like the people in this couple fill the gap for each other in a mutual agreed way.

Problems arise when the people change, and it's not mutual anymore. It sounds like, for this couple, it still works. She might like getting affirmed; he might like having his opinion be important.

In general, I think it's a nice feeling to be affirmed. Beats the opposite.
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However it's very irritating for other people to listen to all the time...
 
Please stop the Dribble on my new shews!
I got lot's more to do than constantly stop

and get my shoes shined by Shoeshine Boy!
 

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