Do You Recall Being 18 and Self-Assured

[WheatenLover]

I had no clue how to take care of myself. I learned by doing when I moved out at age 17. I didn't think I knew more than my mother, but I did think that she was way too controlling (she was) and that I had to begin life on my own.

 

[fuzzybuddy]

My parents had an 8th grade education, which was the average for their time, I was taking high school trig, They didn't have a prom. I did. So, yeah, I knew how the world worked. I knew into which bank I was going keep my millions. I couldn't sing, or play the guitar, but that didn't stop me from becoming a huge rock star- of course, that would be just a part time sideline to my main claim to fame, which I hadn't figured out yet. Plus, I was able to solve all the world's problems- it was so simple. And I was sure I'd be 18 forever. No old geezer for me.

 

[Della]

At 18, I was in the top ten of my graduating high school class. A few months later, a college freshman at a good, competitive school finding that he had to work hard just to be average. Life humbles us all..

My college roommate had been valedictorian of her small West Virginia high-school. She was failing in spite of all night study sessions. We were in the same huge history class and almost 100% of us failed the first test. Remember how hard they used to grade before so many colleges became degree factories? I seriously thought the poor girl might kill herself, her family was so proud of her.

I was just the opposite and didn't care about anything but finding someone to marry. We used to call that "She's here for her MRS degree." My goal was to be the perfect housewife like June Cleaver. Little did I know the world was getting ready for a big change and women would be expected to have careers, or that I would make a bad choice and marry a guy who was definitely not Ward Cleaver.

 

[Michael Z]

At 18 I was definitely not self-assured. My confidence came at the bottom of a bottle. My assurance came about 10 years later when I turned to Jesus Christ - it did indeed make me a new creation, not perfect by any means, but assured of what truly was perfect and an eternal hope.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

I was definitely not self assured at 18. I was somewhat shy, lacked self confidence and had low self esteem (partially to a low self image). Having to handle life experiences, including winding up having to raise our child mostly on my own helped develop self assuredness down the line. Also my work and work friends at what wound up being my "work home" helped me a lot. One of those work friends (who actually got on my nerves so much at work) and wound up becoming one of my best friends, used to tell me "You've come a long way baby"...like that commercial. In addition excelling as an adult in college while working full time, then getting a couple of promotions gave me more confidence that I could get what I wanted in this life.

 

[IFortuna]

As far back as I can remember, I've always felt nervous and worried about what the future would be bring. And now that I'm old and terrified of being even older (and especially being in a skilled nursing facility being taken care of by caregivers who possibly hate Boomers--a lot of those younger than us do in fact understandably hate Boomers--), it's even worse.

I wish I had someone to talk to who'd understand--everyone here on SF are great and sympathetic but it'd be nice to have someone IRL too. I did try counseling a few years back when I was trying to deal with taking care of my mother in her final days and my angry, narcississtic sister and told the counselor I was basically looking for a support group but the counselor just correctly told me there were no support groups other than AA and NA around here (and that was before Covid; it's worse now). She also told me I should just go to church. When I told her I was an atheist, she frowned and took a step back from me. So no help there.

Just because you are an atheist doesn't mean you can't go to church. Just don't advertise it. In all seriousness, you might meet some very nice people.

 

[timoc]

Do You Recall Being 18 and Self-Assured?​

Absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, in fact, I still see myself as 18, but I'm cursed with a mirror that's a liar.

 

[officerripley]

Just because you are an atheist doesn't mean you can't go to church. Just don't advertise it. In all seriousness, you might meet some very nice people.

There probably are some nice people at the churches here but some are probably not on my wavelength since the pastors of at least a few of these churches here announce in their sermons who they want their congregation to vote for! Also having to listen for very long to sermons about the supernatural would be extremely boring for me since I don't believe in it at all.

There is one church here that says it's "liberal and inclusive" but just about the time they started doing in-person services again instead of online only, the Covid lockdown is back in place. And even before the Covid, that church was cutting way back on all its activities, especially the social ones. It seems like this whole place, and others I've heard about, have been doing away with social activities (unless you're lucky enough to already be a member).

 

[Alligatorob]

Mark Twain about summed it up for me, 18 was somewhere in the middle:

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

 

[Manatee]

In the 1950s every fit man knew he would be definately be drafted at some point. They were shooting real bullets in Korea. This tended to distract from other considerations.

 

[Della]

a few of these churches here announce in their sermons who they want their congregation to vote for!

They ought to lose their tax exemption for that.

My combination Episcopalian/Lutheran church is very liberal and inclusive and I expect lots of the members are agnostic. The sermons are short and as likely to be about re-cycling as anything supernatural. Still we have communion every Sunday and that's definitely a supernatural thing.

As you say, most churches aren't doing much now because of the Covid. It must be a very hard time for anyone who lives alone.

 

[officerripley]

It must be a very hard time for anyone who lives alone.

Or with someone with whom they're not much on the same wavelength anymore.

 

[chic]

Yes I do. I had a blast! What I liked best was being pain free everyday of my young life and thinking it would never end. I would go back to that time in a heartbeat if I could for that reason alone.