Do you stick like glue to your spouse

Do you stick like glue to your spouse?​


Like crazy glue

We're each other's best friends

but

Sometimes more like silly putty

Sometimes like opposing magnetic fields

She has her hobby room, kitchen.....and actually the entire house
and back yard

I have the shop

I do get free range of the back yard at times

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Oh, and we share the bedroom
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charry said:
can i ask you , why are you still together ?
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We share a lot of interests and enjoy each other's company. We like the same music, books, tv shows and movies. We both like walking for exercise. We always agree on what to do for vacations. We like the same foods and we both like to cook. We just basically are continuing the same routine we had while I was working.
 
oldlongwalker said:
We share a lot of interests and enjoy each other's company. We like the same music, books, tv shows and movies. We both like walking for exercise. We always agree on what to do for vacations. We like the same foods and we both like to cook. We just basically are continuing the same routine we had while I was working.
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thats sounds good ...
 

Wren said:
Each to their own, as long as it suits the couple concerned and one of them is not forcing the situation on the other

Personally I would find a relationship like that suffocating, it’s nice to be close, although I imagine conversation is quite limited if you do everything together
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"Suffocating". My wife and me use the same word for such relationships.
 
oldlongwalker said:
separate bathrooms. It was something she always advised her clients, and to the best of her knowledge none of them ever regretted the advice.
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Good idea but unfortunately too expensive for a lot of people. A couple I know had come across a great living situation (a nice little 2-bedroom house on a grown child's property) but turned it down because it only had 1 bathroom which I agree is a problem, especially when you're old; nature's call needs to be answered immediately more and more often.
 
My wife and I met our freshman year in college. We got married on Thanksgiving break of our sophomore year. That was over 50 years ago. We are still lovers and best friends. As we aged things were not as intense as when we were younger, but the love and affection is still there.

We have never been ones to cling to each other, quite the opposite. She does her things and I do mine. We have many common interests that we do together, but we both still have many things we do independently. The one time we always come together is in bed. Sleeping together (I do mean actually going to sleep), as simple as it is, I think is critical to a strong relationship. My parents told me when I go married to "never go to bed mad at each other"! I did not fully understand that when they told me, but I learned, if we are upset with each other, or upset about something, we do not go to bed, until we work it out. We have had a few long nights and a few sleepless nights. But we have never went to bed mad/ sad! Do that and you will also have more fun in bed!

She will be my lovely wife forever! We lived the dream together... We have three kids, they blessed us with six grandkids and now we have one great, grandchild. It just keeps getting better, grandkids are your reward from raising your kids...
 
oldlongwalker said:
I see you are in the UK. We are both big fans of British movies and tv. Midsomer Murders, Agatha Christie, Poirot, Great British Baking Show--No Gordon Ramsay!!, anything with Lucy Worsley, Toby Jones, Bill Nighy.
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Bill nighy is a great actor ….
 
I have a set of Victorian-era etiquette books entitled "What a Young Wife Ought to Know". One of the recommendations in the book is to have separate bedrooms in order (and I quote directly) "to avoid the familiarity which, even in marriage, leads to contempt." Well, there you have it.... Of course, if we still took advice from the Victorians, we'd be drinking laudanum like Coca-Cola and children would be seen and not heard.

In my opinion, why get married or have a relationship if you don't like to be with the person you're with ***BUT*** that doesn't mean I have to be surgically joined at the hip with him.

My late husband loved to bass fish for hours. I'd rather be poked in the eye with a sharp, heated stick. I loved to go antique hunting. He would have rather been poked in the eye with a sharp, heated, fishing pole.

The Spousal Equivalent loves to ride his Harley for hours. I'd rather be......well, you get the picture.

A healthy relationship can stand being separated for a few hours or a few days, if needed.

On the other hand, if both parties enjoy being joined at the hip, hooray for them! To each his own. We all have to do what works best for us.
 
jujube said:
I have a set of Victorian-era etiquette books entitled "What a Young Wife Ought to Know". One of the recommendations in the book is to have separate bedrooms in order (and I quote directly) "to avoid the familiarity which, even in marriage, leads to contempt." Well, there you have it.... Of course, if we still took advice from the Victorians, we'd be drinking laudanum like Coca-Cola and children would be seen and not heard.

In my opinion, why get married or have a relationship if you don't like to be with the person you're with ***BUT*** that doesn't mean I have to be surgically joined at the hip with him.

My late husband loved to bass fish for hours. I'd rather be poked in the eye with a sharp, heated stick. I loved to go antique hunting. He would have rather been poked in the eye with a sharp, heated, fishing pole.

The Spousal Equivalent loves to ride his Harley for hours. I'd rather be......well, you get the picture.

A healthy relationship can stand being separated for a few hours or a few days, if needed.

On the other hand, if both parties enjoy being joined at the hip, hooray for them! To each his own. We all have to do what works best for us.
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I loved fishing ju …..sadly we don’t fish now as he can’t …..
I played super league darts , all over the country…hubby couldn’t aim at anything LOL, but always came along and supported me …..
I must admit , he loved gardening , which I didn’t , but I would sit and watch him, and administer the cold beers to us both when needed LOL…l
 
It is interesting to read all the comments.
My husband traveled a lot for work. When at home, he spent long hours working in his home office.
So, I was not sure on how it would work out for us once he retired early 2020. We both are quite independent and both like our alone time.
So far, it is working just fine. We respect each other's time apart as well as enjoy our time together.
 
I was an only child so spending a lot of time by myself was the norm for me and I still like it that way. My hubby always traveled with his work so when he retired in 2001 and wanted to sell the house, buy a truck and trailer and travel around the country, I thought it would be a great adventure, so that's what we did.

It didn't take long to realize that being with someone 24/7 in a truck on the open road, where I couldn't get away from him for a minute, was eye-opening and suffocating. We did this for 3 1/2 years and finally bought a home where I had the chance to spend time with myself doing what I enjoyed, which was quilting. He was a trap shooter and spent a lot of time at the range and going to tournaments.

That worked for us for many years until we moved to AZ. There was a trap club there but everyone feuded with each other all the time so he quit going. I tried to join a quilt guild there but they were so unfriendly and rude, I never went back. Hubby and I spent 8 years just him and me and no friends. It was stifling.

We're now back in PA and love it here but we've been consumed with renovations and haven't had any time to make friends (except for our neighbors). He now takes me everywhere. I haven't driven in over a year. I go to my sewing room in the afternoon and try to spend some alone time but he always comes in several times. I'm hoping he'll start going to the local trap club when the season opens here. He's always been very high maintenance and depends on me to do everything for him. I get really exhausted sometimes :(
 
charry said:
can i ask you , why are you still together ?
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I don’t know why he doesn’t leave me as he obviously doesn’t want to be with me. I have asked him if he wants to divorce and he says no.
I’m here because I love my home and the neighborhood. It would be a financial hardship if we had to divide everything between 2 households. ( I suspect that this is the reason he doesn’t want to divorce… money)
And I guess I keep hoping
 
The relationship you describe is stifling and unhealthy. Now if you are a caregiver for a spouse that’s entirely different. A friend of mine didn’t have much time for friends when she met her second husband.

Fast forward 23 years and she is in her 70’s and he died. Now she’s desperate to do things with friends and is calling me nightly. She also wants to find a new man. Putting all your eggs in one basket is never smart.
 
Colleen said:
I was an only child so spending a lot of time by myself was the norm for me and I still like it that way. My hubby always traveled with his work so when he retired in 2001 and wanted to sell the house, buy a truck and trailer and travel around the country, I thought it would be a great adventure, so that's what we did.

It didn't take long to realize that being with someone 24/7 in a truck on the open road, where I couldn't get away from him for a minute, was eye-opening and suffocating. We did this for 3 1/2 years and finally bought a home where I had the chance to spend time with myself doing what I enjoyed, which was quilting. He was a trap shooter and spent a lot of time at the range and going to tournaments.

That worked for us for many years until we moved to AZ. There was a trap club there but everyone feuded with each other all the time so he quit going. I tried to join a quilt guild there but they were so unfriendly and rude, I never went back. Hubby and I spent 8 years just him and me and no friends. It was stifling.

We're now back in PA and love it here but we've been consumed with renovations and haven't had any time to make friends (except for our neighbors). He now takes me everywhere. I haven't driven in over a year. I go to my sewing room in the afternoon and try to spend some alone time but he always comes in several times. I'm hoping he'll start going to the local trap club when the season opens here. He's always been very high maintenance and depends on me to do everything for him. I get really exhausted sometimes :(
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Sounds like he needs to find a gun related hobby, like buying and restoring old guns, or building from kits. When I was much younger I built a flintlock pistol from a kit.

https://www.dixiegunworks.com/index/page/category/category_id/323/name/Flint/
 
DH & I are are together much of the time. After 45 years together including a couple of years of dating, when we're out we still automatically hold hands. He's my sweetheart as well as my best friend, most ardent supporter, most loyal champion and greatest source of encouragement Has always been. I'm the same for him.

We're nearly always within 50 feet of each other, though often doing different things so not constantly interacting.

That said, I'm going out to lunch today with some GFs. We sometimes run errands solo, so it's not like we're completely joined at the hip.

Bottom line, we get along extremely well, enjoy spending time together, and love being with our kids and grandkids. So that's what we mostly do.

Is it unhealthy? Not when it brings joy to all concerned.

I'm not worried about how one of us will manage when the other dies or loses cognition. That's a bridge to cross when and if we come to it. We're both gregarious with no social anxieties, and have close friends who would help pull us through (just as we would with them). Of that I'm certain.

Our children would also be there for us. No doubt in my mind about that at all. Our family is very close.
 
I had a husband who was unfaithful. I guess that is the closest I ever came to feeling like I had to "stick like glue". I knew at the time that was an unhealthy way to react and eventually we divorced. I was never tempted to "stick like glue" before or after that.
 
Wikipedia >>> Anthropology is the scientific study of humanity, concerned with human behavior, human biology, cultures, societies, and linguistics, in both the present and past, including past human species. Combining that with a study of psychology especially interpersonal communication, paints a quite grim future of modern era humanity. Tersely, those sad results are increasingly evident across our way overpopulated planet, everyday one surveys media and news. Living in our modern urban worlds works against how human behaviors evolved within relatively isolated close trusting multi-family monogamous groups and villages.

If two married communicative people with similar interests, activities, goals, and life philosophies, are comfortable in a close long term complementary trusting relationship, I would expect much happiness and contentment. If two such people find each other, embrace it regardless of how others feel. The more people have differences, the weaker they are likely to generally be together. Many overly emotional people are poor communicators, especially to those close to them because they learn being open discussing and arguing over differences results in negativity. When they do communicate about divisive issues they've bottled up, all manner of past issues opposite sides may have thought was over and done with, suddenly become with excessive emotion, awkwardly exposed opening up new wounds.
 
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