Do you still want and even need approval from others?

[Tommy]

For me, it's the wrong question. Rather, I tend to consider "Why does (or might) someone approve or disapprove of something I say or do?".

Hopefully we never get too old to learn, and the perceptions of others of our thoughts and actions are a potential source of learning. Granted, the basis for another's disapproval is often shallow and petty, not worthy of further consideration, but occasionally the answer to the "Why?" question can be useful and enlightening.

 

[Ronni]

I don’t seek approval. If I did, I wouldnt have tattoos, turquoise hair or any of the other quirky or outside-the-box things that make my kids roll their eyes, and that make me uniquely me.

I do however like to be appreciated. For example, I like to hear my husband comments about a tasty meal I made or how much he likes what I’m wearing. I enjoy my kids and grands saying what a cool grandma I am or how much they enjoy the creative games I come up with.

I think we all like to hear nice things about what we do, whether it’s a work product, a decorated home, a pretty craft or whatever else. There’s a difference between seeking approval for who we are, versus appreciating recognition for the things we do.