Do you think it's a good thing to re-aquaint with people you haven't seen in 30 -40 years?

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

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The Sticks, Northeast PA.
I was a Corpsman (Medic) in the Navy in the 70s. I thought of looking some of my old pals. All my friends say that's a bad idea. About 10 years ago, a family member blindsided me with a meeting of a high school classmate. It was very uncomfortable for both of us. So I don't know......
 

No. It never lives up to your expectations .
 

If you got along with everyone I would say go for it! My Dad attended regular reunions until recent years with his army buddies. Sadly he is now 93 and among the last of them left.
 
Regular reunions are a different matter, you've known and kept up with these peoples' lives for decades, but meeting up with someone after 30 or 40 years for more than 10 minutes is a bad idea IMO...what do you have in common apart from a memory of decades ago...as soon as you've got over the ''remember whens'' there's very often nothing left to say...

IMO..if these people had been close enough friends you would have been in regular contact over the years anyway, so I vote for Nay!!
 
Yeah, the nostalgic “remember whens” and sharing family pics can be fun, but then what?

Few yrs ago one of my brothers was contacted by a friend he hadn’t seen or talked to in over 30 yrs. Guy came over for a couple beers and reminiscing….then presented an “investment opportunity”…then finally came out and asked for a loan because he was down on his luck. :rolleyes: Later found out the guy had contacted a couple others to "talk about old times". Gimme a break.
 
Yes, for some people it can work out. It did for me. I posted about this a while back. My friend and I first met as kids in Kuwait. Once we moved back to the UK we wrote to each other but after several moves on both our parts we somehow lost addresses... an easy thing to do when moving so much and very upsetting when it's a close friend! 30 odd years later we were finally in touch once again via mutual Kuwait friends. We talked on the phone and she invited me to go and stay with her, which I did, no hesitation. It was as if we'd never been apart, no awkward silences, yes there was a bit of reminiscing, only natural,but then we simply carried on where we'd left off. She died about 18 months ago, I still miss her but am so thankful that we met up again and we able to carry on our friendship and had a few little adventures together.
 
I can't see why not but, don't allow it to go any further if "things" don't work out. If you didn't miss them
for 30 years, you can do it again......time allowing of course.

Could be interesting though, they might have answers to questions you were wondering about.
 
I tried to meet up with one my best friends from high school this summer, as I was living fairly close to her. She said that she wanted to meet up but kept making excuses every time I contacted her to set up a date. Finally, I gave up. I don't know why, but apparently she didn't really want to see me. The last time I saw her was at my wedding in 1969.

I love to see old friends. Traveling around the country as we have for the last five years, I've had the opportunity to meet up with quite a few old friends and distant relatives....it's so much fun to catch up on the last...30-40-50...years. Living in Florida, I do get calls from a lot of old friends who come down here on vacation. It's always fun to go and meet up with them at their hotels and have a drink and a laugh-fest.
 
Last year, I received a phone call out of the blue from an acquaintance/friend I hadn't seen for over 50 years. Our husbands were friends really and we'd attended each others weddings - the men as best man at each others wedding.

She was in town, and could she drop by?

It was just as if we've always been in touch over all the years. She was exactly the same person she had been way back then and we spent a very pleasant afternoon together.

I know I could drop in on her if I ever drove the 500 kilometers to near where she lived.
 
My cousin who I had been quite close with 40 years ago saw each other at a few funerals about 25 years ago. She lives on the west coast and I live in Toronto, so meeting is not so easy. After a few attempts at phone conversations more recently within the past 4-5 years, I found we didn't seem to connect anymore and have now left it to occasional emails to keep in touch.
 
I've done this a few times and have been seriously disappointed. For me, it's better to keep the fond memories. A few years ago I met my best friend from high school and her daughters for dinner -- hadn't seen her since 1963 -- we were inseparable way back when. I was shocked to find that she had become a very bitter old woman (in all the worst senses of the term "old woman") and a fanatic about some things that really bothered me. It was a very depressing experience and I was glad she was going back to Florida, where she lives. Now, when I think of her the picture that comes to mind is of that crazy old woman and not the fun person she was in our youth.
 
I think it’s better if there are no expectations – otherwise you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Sure, it’s nice to reminisce and catch up.

But be realistic:
  • You both are a lot older
  • A lot has happened and your lives are different
  • If there were any bad feelings or resentments
    left over from the past, they might resurface
  • Despite promises to “stay in touch and get together again soon”, the chance of that actually happening is small
 
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I recently.... well about a year ago.... reconnected with a grammar school friend.. All the things that annoyed me about her back then.. still do. AND now she won't let go and thinks we are going to be the way we were back then. I have to hold her at arms length or she has the potential of becoming intrusive..
 
John Updike's short story about two old high school flames meeting in their sixties was poignant in the nostalgia for the past in the present does not work out...
 
Pam said:
Yes, for some people it can work out. It did for me. I posted about this a while back. My friend and I first met as kids in Kuwait. Once we moved back to the UK we wrote to each other but after several moves on both our parts we somehow lost addresses... an easy thing to do when moving so much and very upsetting when it's a close friend! 30 odd years later we were finally in touch once again via mutual Kuwait friends. We talked on the phone and she invited me to go and stay with her, which I did, no hesitation. It was as if we'd never been apart, no awkward silences, yes there was a bit of reminiscing, only natural,but then we simply carried on where we'd left off. She died about 18 months ago, I still miss her but am so thankful that we met up again and we able to carry on our friendship and had a few little adventures together.
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Very pleased it worked out for you Pam:)......there is no reason why these type of reconnections shouldn't work, perhaps some people go into them expecting too much.
 
With life's ups and downs, we all change, we're not the same people we were 40 years ago.

Most of the time, I've been disappointed after meeting old friends.
 
Bee said:
Very pleased it worked out for you Pam:)......there is no reason why these type of reconnections shouldn't work, perhaps some people go into them expecting too much.
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Thanks, Bee. I always knew that meeting up with her would be absolutely fine. We just had that sort of friendship and if it hadn't been for me losing addresses due to moving there wouldn't have been so many 'lost' years but... we made up for that. :) As for others from the past, I agree, don't expect too much but no harm meeting up and seeing what happens.
 
You're welcome Pam, I agree if a meeting is arranged just don't expect too much at first, on the other hand if you refuse to meet, you could always be left wondering.
 
I think it depends on WHY you want to see them again.Sometimes it's easier to meet new people, and we can see exactly how they are, whereas people change, not always for the better from 40 odd years ago.
 
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