Do You Want to be Cared for by Your Family

hollydolly said:
60-80 years later.. no-one foresaw back in the 40's and 50's..the cost of living being such that both parents would have no option but to work just to put food on the table and a roof over their heads... it's quite untenable in this modern world for the average family to give up paid employment to care for someone else..
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When state and local governments can waste billions on housing and old-folks homes that either never materialize or are under-staffed, under-supplied, poorly maintained pits of despair, I think we could make this happen.
 
The absolute last thing I want is to be a burden to my only son. When I can't take care of myself, he has been instructed to have me delivered to the cheapest nursing home, and never ever pay me a visit. I don't want his last memory of me to be some drooling, senile, incapacitated old coot laying in a soiled bed.
 
Jules said:
This came up in What are you Doing Today. It seems to deserve it’s own discussion.

Sure we’d all like to be fit enough to live in our own home until the end but realistically that may not happen. Would you move in with your family? Would you expect them to care for you?

Caring for your family was the custom 50+ years ago. At least the woman in the house was expected to do it.

Frankly, I don’t want to be cared for in the home of any of either of our families’. I would rather end up in a care place, hopefully having gone from moderate assistance to all-care, if need be.

Right now we don’t live near family. Depending who goes first, I would move close to my family, definitely not in with them.
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Jules said:
This came up in What are you Doing Today. It seems to deserve it’s own discussion.

Sure we’d all like to be fit enough to live in our own home until the end but realistically that may not happen. Would you move in with your family? Would you expect them to care for you?

Caring for your family was the custom 50+ years ago. At least the woman in the house was expected to do it.

Frankly, I don’t want to be cared for in the home of any of either of our families’. I would rather end up in a care place, hopefully having gone from moderate assistance to all-care, if need be.

Right now we don’t live near family. Depending who goes first, I would move close to my family, definitely not in with them.
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When I read about the Amish get together to add to the back of the house for elderly, I wondered how people moved in the direction of dropping family members off at the other places. I realize there are times a health condition would require more than what could be offered by a family member, and people have unique situations that won't support the Amish approach. Your question is what would I want? and at one time I would have considered that a no brainer. I think the answer depends on the feelings of those doing the caretaking. I wouldn't want to be somewhere that I was seen as a burden. I took my dad in, so glad I had that time with him, and it would seem natural to me to take in family. Whether a family member wanted me there would be the question I would have to answer to know the answer to your question, and then go from there. I think my generation is still from the old school somewhat, and the newer have been subjected to so much advice, learning what to do from a book or what is promoted, that they can be excused for possibly going basic instincts. As for what I think now, I've lived my life for the most part, so I to think the younger family members to do what is best for them. Without a doubt, I relax if all is well for them, so that's what matters the most. In other words, I'm more concerned how they would be affected than myself. What I thought then compared to my concerns now about where I would go leaves me in limbo. What I think today could be swayed by something I don't know or haven't considered. I must play what to do it by ear.
 
Buckeye said:
The absolute last thing I want is to be a burden to my only son. When I can't take care of myself, he has been instructed to have me delivered to the cheapest nursing home, and never ever pay me a visit. I don't want his last memory of me to be some drooling, senile, incapacitated old coot laying in a soiled bed.
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I gave my kids the same exact instructions. But I'll just off myself when the time comes, and they know it; I told them. I will know when it's the right time for that.
 
DebraMae said:
Do not resuscitate. I am even thinking of having that tattooed on my chest. ;)
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I'm all for DNR orders. I was in a park for a canoe trip and wrote DNR on my arm in permanent marker, in case I drowned. My paddle buddy asked, "Why did you write Department of Natural Resources on yourself!" Yep, same acronym and it took me a while to figure out what he was asking!
 
For me, I'd like advice on how to best off myself when I feel it's time. Having worked in nursing homes, no way. As to moving in with my daughter, no way - I can't even get her to give me a routine wellness call now, although she is getting slightly more attentive since my Covid-19. Yes, I wish we were like the Walton family, but those days are long gone. Goodnight, all!
 
I absolutly do not want any one taking care of me, and I mean anyone! I just want it to end on my terms. I have done enough care taking in my life to realize the harsh realities of all that's necessary, and the terrible shame those needing the care experience. None of that for this bag of bones.
 
Paco Dennis said:
I only have Medicare A&B. No insurance companies. Are there really places in the states that offer assisted suicide?
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Physician-assisted suicide is legal in ten US states and the District of Columbia. It is an option given to individuals by law in Colorado, the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maine, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont and Washington. It is an option given to individuals in Montana and California via court decision.

Otherwise I think you have to leave the country. Someone posted a video about it in one of the threads and the spouse had gone with the husband to be by his side despite the possibility of being jailed for assisiting in his suicide I believe.
 
Em in Ohio said:
For me, I'd like advice on how to best off myself when I feel it's time. Having worked in nursing homes, no way. As to moving in with my daughter, no way - I can't even get her to give me a routine wellness call now, although she is getting slightly more attentive since my Covid-19. Yes, I wish we were like the Walton family, but those days are long gone. Goodnight, all!
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I have imagined myself stepping in front of a truck loaded with logs.
 
Seriously, I find it absurd that most people don't think twice about putting a beloved pet "to sleep" rather than see it suffer. Yet, we let our elderly suffer - only prolonging their dying, not sustaining any reasonable quality of life. Lots of money to be made by stretching out our deaths. This is cruelty beyond belief. If there are countries where you can decide it is your time without a terminal diagnosis signed in triplicate, I'll stop saving for a used car and set money aside for air fare!
 
I am currently caring for my 88 year old mom in my home. There’s both negative and positive aspects to the situation but overall it is working fairly well.
However, I do not want either one of my children, as wonderful as they are, to have to take me into their home .
I want to think that I will take the necessary steps when I feel my life has run it’s course.
 
Blessed said:
I would still watch it if it was on, I loved it. Loved the characters, the scenery the actors. I started watching it just after my husband died. The moment the opening music came on all the stress would just leave my body. For a short while each week I was somewhere else.
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Last episode ever was filmed yesterday... after 18 years...

https://metro.co.uk/2022/07/29/mart...s-on-itvs-doc-martin-after-18-years-17090971/
 

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