Dodging invitations that cost you too much.

[VintageBetter]

I need understood the idea of the destination wedding. Weddings are supposed to be for the friends and family to celebrate the union of two people. Why throw a cost barrier up that keeps the friends and family away? If friends and family are not that important ask a clergy member or justice of the peace to marry you in a short ceremony.

Most are also not thought out well. One friend’s child wanted to be married in a National Park that is famous for selling out rooms and cabins 6 to 12 months in advance. The invites came out about about 5 months before the wedding. No rooms available Except outside the park with long driving distances and waiting lines to get into the NP.

Eventually the couple killed the idea when almost nobody could get a room. Interestingly, one couple did get a room due to a cancellation. They decided to use their precious reservation at the NP and skipped the wedding.

I completely agree about the self-centeredness and imitation-of-celebrity-culture illness called Destination Weddings. It seems like yet another way to divide society between the Haves and the Have-Nots. Oh yay! More ways to hurt people's feelings with measuring their worth in your lives with an expensive Destination Wedding.

 

[HoneyNut]

Others get married abroad and expect friends to fly there at their own expense. Still others who do stag or hen parties involving everyone paying all sorts of costs including staying overnight.

Am I churlish or practical? We are retired and live on a budget and cost of living is going up and up.

I personally feel the same way, but I've grown to see that the destination events have a good side. My daughter (27 yrs old now) has had many friends in the past several years that had destination events. My daughter doesn't have much money but she scrapes it together (sometimes with a little help from me), and she's gotten to go to a lot of different places and have fun experiences with her friends, so I think that is a good experience for her.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

I think very carefully if I get an invitation to a wedding or party, in ways I never used to.
It can incur a lot of costs for guests. Recently a distant cousin I've barely seen invited us to his third wedding. He lives far enough that it would mean a hotel bill for us. Other costs are new outfits, the present, petrol - it adds up to not being at all worth it. So I've made my excuses.

Another time a peripheral friend, who we only see occasionally, was giving a big party for her 50th at a posh hotel, again it would have cost quite a bit including taxis. So we dodged it. There are even people who ask you to events and you must buy your own drinks. Others get married abroad and expect friends to fly there at their own expense. Still others who do stag or hen parties involving everyone paying all sorts of costs including staying overnight.

Am I churlish or practical? We are retired and live on a budget and cost of living is going up and up. So we just don't go unless it's close family or a very close friend.

I don't blame you Rose. These days it costs a lot to rent the venues so people are expecting a lot in return whether it's birthday or wedding gifts. And of course, who would want to incur the extra expense of buy new clothes (if necessary), traveling and booking a hotel for someone they are not even close to? I don't think any of us would...so you're being practical and that's a good thing.

 

[Rose65]

I don't blame you Rose. These days it costs a lot to rent the venues so people are expecting a lot in return whether it's birthday or wedding gifts. And of course, who would want to incur the extra expense of buy new clothes (if necessary), traveling and booking a hotel for someone they are not even close to? I don't think any of us would...so you're being practical and that's a good thing.

Only for very close family or friends.