Does It Make Us Stronger or Do We Just Break?

Pepper said:
My mother would say "I'm doing the best I can, I was never a mother before!"
Took a while, but I believe her
She had her own mishegoss. I see her better now.
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yes that the pity of parenthood.. none of us have been mothers the first time.. and if we didn't have role models in our own mothers, it was especially hard, and how can we expect our children to know this.. they have never been children before...
 

hollydolly said:
..but why would you care about someone who caused such devastation to your mother ?
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I guess I still cared because he was still my father. Also, at this point in my life I had basically had it out with him about how it felt to see my mother so abused. He needed to hear about the effect it had on his children. So in a way, I had made my peace with him because I'd had my say.

He chose the wrong way to handle his marriage and most of his children did not care that he was dying. They are still very angry and disillusioned with him. I was the only one still in communication with him when his health failed.
 
carouselsilver said:
I guess I still cared because he was still my father. Also, at this point in my life I had basically had it out with him about how it felt to see my mother so abused. He needed to hear about the effect it had on his children. So in a way, I had made my peace with him because I'd had my say.

He chose the wrong way to handle his marriage and most of his children did not care that he was dying. They are still very angry and disillusioned with him. I was the only one still in communication with him when his health failed.
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Bulling, physically harm to our spouse is just that.
Of course we all have to understand our Spouse's
meanings and figure it all out, sure quiet time has
to be allowed, without physical harm.

Hopefully your kids won your lifes dream of not harming each other's spouses.
 
No, my life has not made me stronger. It's beaten me down and convinced me I'm a bad person no matter what I have done. It's isolated me. Just like my mother isolated me as a child and didn't care about my emotional and mental health. Though I didn't process that for years.

I don't know what I would do without my cats. And I enjoy the rescues I follow online. I plan to visit the one some day. Yes this is the same one I complained about here when the founder was out of line about a cat adopted and quickly returned. But I decided to move on from that. I love those cats too much. Even just knowing them onscreen.

Johnny has become my favorite. I hope he has years ahead. He's had an unfair and rough life.
 
carouselsilver said:
Me either. I was torn about this because he was very jealous of my mother and was abusive towards her. when I was five, he put her face through a window and broke her nose and her teeth. She was a beautiful woman who didn't like to smile because her front teeth were missing.

He died thinking that I didn't care enough to come to him at the end, but my health is too poor for long trips.
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My heart aches to hear what you; @DebraMae @hollydolly and others have suffered physical and mental abuse from fathers and husbands.

Yet through all that you have the courage to speak out here; thereby givingwh9.jpg comfort to.. and being comforted from .... other survivors.

You survived and those a-hole men lost your precious heart!
 

Does It Make Us Stronger or Do We Just Break? whatever "it" is does not necessarily make us stronger but it teaches us new ways to adapt to stressful situations. Trauma is different, it is always with you because the event or events that lead to trauma are etched into your brain. It is a part of your psyche that lives with you everyday of your life, even though there are days you don't feel it, it is still there waiting to be triggered.​

 
I definitely think it's true. I've been through hell and back and survived. I've learned something from all of them which made me stronger. I've lost everything I had and became homeless and lived in the streets. Been held at gunpoint and almost killed. Along with several other terrible things. By the time covid came around, it was a breeze. Now I'm battling another form of cancer along with other bad health issues. I'll just roll with it like everything else. The trick is to really learn and stay positive. I've seen people crumble going through less.
 
chic said:
There does come a time when even the strongest of us gets tired of endless struggle and becomes fatigued enough to just break rather than suffer through more, and who am I to judge if someone says, "enough"? As we get older maybe breaking becomes more commonplace?
In my own life I've had my share to struggle through and sometimes it has made me stronger, ie - angrier and other times I just get tired and want to escape to a vacation destination. Do you ever feel that way?
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No,......I will fight through it ......and vacation later šŸ˜‚
 
Mr. Ed said:

Does It Make Us Stronger or Do We Just Break? whatever "it" is does not necessarily make us stronger but it teaches us new ways to adapt to stressful situations. Trauma is different, it is always with you because the event or events that lead to trauma are etched into your brain. It is a part of your psyche that lives with you everyday of your life, even though there are days you don't feel it, it is still there waiting to be triggered.​

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You expressed that much better than I ever could. Thank you for posting it. I printed it and will keep it to remind myself when the need arises.
 

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