Don't want it and you will get it

H

Happy Retiree

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Location
Canada
When I was young (in my twenties), all my friends were getting married or living with someone they loved. I really, really wanted to get married. Well, by the time I was 34, I thought well that's it, no more wishing about finding a lover. I'm going to be single and that is just fine by me. Very soon after, I met my husband, 3 months later, we married. We have been married for over 33 years.

Another example, I always really wanted to do well at my jobs (office support) and I was very submissive and frankly took some abuse from bosses. At one point, I decided I don't give a damn anymore, so fire me, I thought to myself and my last jobs were the happiest that I had.

Have you ever really wanted something and then as soon as you said to yourself - it just doesn't matter anymore and suddenly you got what you wanted?
 

"Have you ever really wanted something and then as soon as you said to yourself - it just doesn't matter anymore and suddenly you got what you wanted?"

Yes, I wanted to move from my previous situation (husband and off the grid homestead) and it took years for it to finally happen. I thought there was no way I could live on my social security since it was so low (many years I was a stay at home mom). Then I had a good friend explain to me how I could do it and was able to apply for my apartment and most everything related to it on my computer (I had no way to go anywhere unless husband took me). I had resigned myself to dying there but here I am!
 
I believe Taoist thought refers to this as action by inaction. It seems to go against western logic. I am only one data point, but the good things that usually come to me, I was not actively seeking. I may have been thinking about them only in a detached way. The few things I forcefully pursued almost always turned out badly.

I think the idea of manifesting also touches on this. Although I don’t subscribe to that idea wholesale, I believe in the law of attraction part. Being in an open and positive state of mind is very helpful for almost everything we do.
 
Happy Retiree said:
Have you ever really wanted something and then as soon as you said to yourself - it just doesn't matter anymore and suddenly you got what you wanted?
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Yes, it really hit me when I started to retire. I had been a consultant, an engineer, for all of my professional career. I learned to fight for as much work as I could get, if it came too quickly I could just pass it on to a colleague or raise my rates. I was always worried about not being able to find enough work.

Then I decided to retire, about 3 years ago. So I told all my clients of my plans and told them I would keep working at least a bit for a couple more years to try and end projects most efficiently. Suddenly I found myself in great demand, people asking for just one more thing before I retired. It's been hard to extract myself from working, pretty much done now but only in the last few months.

I have been telling my younger friends still in the business that if they are looking for work they might try telling their clients they are planning to retire. Turned out to be a great marketing ploy for me, when I needed it least.
 
Happy Retiree said:
When I was young (in my twenties), all my friends were getting married or living with someone they loved. I really, really wanted to get married. Well, by the time I was 34, I thought well that's it, no more wishing about finding a lover. I'm going to be single and that is just fine by me. Very soon after, I met my husband, 3 months later, we married. We have been married for over 33 years.

Another example, I always really wanted to do well at my jobs (office support) and I was very submissive and frankly took some abuse from bosses. At one point, I decided I don't give a damn anymore, so fire me, I thought to myself and my last jobs were the happiest that I had.

Have you ever really wanted something and then as soon as you said to yourself - it just doesn't matter anymore and suddenly you got what you wanted?
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Yes. Your attitude changed. You are no longer in need. Your vibration is sensed by others and you exude a confidence
that you didn't have before. You are kinda "self-actualized" You become more intriguing.
 
I thought of another example. I paint in acrylics and I really, really wanted to sell just one painting, please just one, at a craft show at the Seniors Centre. This one guy kept coming back to look at one of my paintings. But no he did not buy it. On the other hand, one lady at my senior centre (she had sold several paintings/collages) and for $250 each - which to me is serious cash! But she and some others at the senior centre who have sold, when I chatted with them, they said to me, they just put up their paintings if they sell fine if not, fine. And they keep on selling!! I just don't know how to convince myself to not care about selling my paintings.☹️
 
Geezer Garage said:
Inversely there is the universal rule of "You get what you resist".
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So true. As my mother used to say, "Whatever you don't want in life will be sitting on your doorstep."

Getting back to the OP comment, people easily sense the relationship-hungry and steer clear. Being ok either way is way less threatening.

Opportunities arise when our attitudes and outlook change.
 
Is this idea related to :
When you purposely put yourself in a position to try to get what you specifically want;
you end up finding something else, while there?

If only, you open your eyes, to see it? ☺️

It just might even be good, or better!
🤩
 

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