Downsizing Christmas presents

C

caroln

Senior Member
Location
Kentucky
I used to give or spend $50 or more on each family member when it was just my daughter and 3 grandkids. Now it's daughter, boyfriend, granddaughter, husband, great-grandkid, another granddaughter and fiancee, and grandson. That's $400.00. Plus motel fee (not enough room for accommodating extra people), and gas at about $40.00. Total is close to $550.00. Now that I'm retired I can barely make monthly expenses and anything extra like presents, etc. comes out of my savings. I'm considering giving $50.00 per couple now and maybe just $30.00 for my 9 year old grandson. Hopefully they will understand that Grandma is on a limited income now and my savings are already starting to dwindle, paying insurance premiums, property taxes, unexpected repairs, etc., all out my savings. I have squirreled away enough to cover these ordinary expenses, but not a lot left over for expensive presents anymore.

May I have your thoughts on this, please? I don't know if I should just bite the bullet and take the money out of savings, or go with the idea of cutting down.
 

We've "downsized" our gift giving. All the adults are doing OK, and the little ones are reaching the age where a bunch of toys are of minimal importance. We'll have a "drawing" at Thanksgiving for the adults....where we just pull one name out of the hat, and give that person a $25 gift. We plan on giving the little great grandkids some cash...probably $50 each, and they can go do their own shopping for something they can use, such as some school supplies, or clothes, etc.

"Splurging" at Christmas is past history for all of us.
 

caroln said:
May I have your thoughts on this, please?
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I'm not sure my thoughts and my actions match, but my thoughts are that it should depend on whether the recipient has more or less money than me. If they have less I think I should give the bigger present, but if they have a comfortable life already, then I would give inexpensive thoughtful gifts. I watched a YouTube yesterday about making very inexpensive gifts by buying ready made stuff (such as pancake mix, cake mix, cocoa mix) and separating it into little jar gifts while making them personalized by adding spices etc. One gift she made was cocoa mix with cinnamon and a little cayenne pepper, that she would put in little jars with ribbons and label as Mexican Cocoa. I thought it was very good suggestion. I remember when I was young and poor ("horse poor" - poor due to owning a horse) I bought a big (inexpensive) bag of bran and made little gift bags for my fellow horse friends of 'hot bran mash' mix. I'm not sure now what else it had, maybe a little grain mix and some molasses on the side.
 
Yup! A $50.00 gift PER COUPLE is a wonderful gift. No need to explain to anyone. A $30.00 gift for your Grandson is a wonderful gift!
I would absolutely downsize this year and even more next year as money will be even tighter!
I still spend $100.00 a person but it may be the last time I do that! (I only have a few people to buy for)
So, YES!!!!! Your feelings are completely correct about your finances! I think a lot of people will be doing the same for the next few years!
 
I have been thinking about down sizing and just giving gifts to
the great grandkids but don't know how this would go over
with the adults. I have 5 adult grand children, but only 2 of them
are married with a child. I would still have to give to those
without children. I only give them money or a cheque as
I can no longer go out to shop.
 
Sometimes a good "family" gift basket is appropriate... like a gift basket with games, snacks, reading & drawing stuff...one that offers the whole family something to share. Our kid and grown grand kids didn't want their kids to just think of us grandparents as gifty money bags...lol.

We quit giving everyone individual gifts many years ago. With a family gift basket, they all have something to enjoy and can share it together...becomes part of the "traditions" every year.

Remember one time when we included yoyo's and "Jacks" and old time candy...it was fun teaching the young ones how to play jacks.
The time with the hula hoop was more challenging, though...no basket big enough to get that in.

It was so fascinating to watch how much time the kids spent playing with the inexpensive little toys and games in the basket, rather than
with the pricy big stuff they got. Way more "bang" for your buck any day!
 
Aunt Bea said:
I would cut out the gift exchange with the adults and continue to give token gifts to the children.
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Yup

Token gifts is key

For us, it's a no brainer.
Most our rels are filthy rich.
They all have......everything.
And our tastes are so much different.
It's all a disservice to everyone.
I certainly don't want or need any gifts, and they certainly don't want ours.
.....unless it's food
 
Aunt Bea said:
Your first responsibility is to yourself.

I would cut out the gift exchange with the adults and continue to give token gifts to the children.

I wouldn’t worry about putting a price tag on it.
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I quit giving to the adults several years ago. Now I just give to the grandkids and the families give me one gift per family. When I did quit giving to the adults, it not only helped me out but it helped them also.
 
caroln said:
Thanks for all the responses. I value everyone's input. I hope everyone in my family understands my situation, but as Gaer said, I really don't owe any explanations. Just wish I didn't feel like such a scrooge! 😟
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I think @AprilSun makes a very good point.

If the adults in the family all stop the annual gift giving it helps everyone’s budget and will probably be a relief.
 
Don't have that problem since I became Muslim since we don't celebrate Christmas. I wind up giving gifts (usually monetary) throughout the year anyway but at least there are no expectations of receiving large, expensive gifts. I like the suggestions that you cut gift giving to the adults. People shouldn't have to worry about going broke because of this holiday that has become so commercialized.
 
hollydolly said:
I think that there's going to be a lot of people in your position Chic, I'm sure everyone will understand.
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I know, but it takes a lot of the joy and excitement out of the holiday. Things are joyless enough these days but inflation is so bad here it's just a no go for me this year.
 
Christmas is my most favorite time of the year! We still exchange gifts as a family. Of course it helps financially that Ron and I are still working.

Every hear at the beginning of the year I set up an automated weekly withdrawal of $20 from checking to a special Christmas savings account. That money accumulates all year and I purchase gifts with that (or actually keep track of the credit card purchases and pay the card off from the Christmas fund)

If I have some lean weeks (I’m self employed so there’s sometimes an ebb and flow to my income) I’ll adjust that weekly amount down, then back up again when things pick up. It sounds like a lot of money but with 7 kids/step kids and 16 grand/step grand kids and a couple close friends, it doesn’t go very far, but it still allows me to indulge in gift giving which is my most favorite thing to do!
 
Tommy said:
Christmas isn't about "stuff", caroln. It's about love. Minimize the former and maximize the latter. My guess ... my hope for you ... is that your family is far more interested in receiving your love than any material gifts you might give.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. ❤️
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Luckily, I do have a very loving family. It's just the first time, after 46 years, I've had to cut down on presents and it makes me feel bad.
 
Buying toys for children is my downfall because I love toys. I do not love all the games and other high tech things they eventually want more than anything.

I cut down on Christmas gift-giving decades ago, when my list had 40+ people on it (mostly friends). I just called everyone and said let's agree not to exchange gifts. It was becoming super-expensive, and at that time, I was short of cash. Now I give gifts only to my kids, my husband, my sister, and to my (former) stepdaughter's two children. I'm not Scrooge, I just can't afford to give gifts every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I love wrapping presents and finding gifts that I think the recipients will love. If it wasn't Covid time, I'd suggest to the group of about a dozen of us who used to meet for breakfast every week, that we draw names. That would be fun. I think they are all still attending those breakfasts, but I can't because my oncologist has me imprisoned in my house. Too big of a risk of dying of Covid because of my lousy immune system.
 

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