Emergency Contact; What to do?

Outside of my brother, whom I haven't seen in 20-30 years, I'm alone. I'm disabled and don't leave the house for several days, so my social life sucks. I found an app, Snug Safe, with which you check in every day before a time you choose. If you don't they will contact somebody you choose. In my case it will be my brother and my local police station. Parts are free, other's you pay for, but it's not outrageously expensive.
https://www.bing.com/ck/a?!&&p=0f48...&u=a1aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc251Z3NhZmUuY29tLw&ntb=1
 

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I hope you are in good health, the most important thing! You are young at 67, Depression can make you feel old. I am 73 years old female, I went to all of this when I was 63, I decided to move to an active retairement community, to do it when I am still strong to put myself in a place and wait for God to take me. Big mistake, I felt too young and no connection with the old people .I am not saying they are not great, not for me. I felt sooo lonely, I moved back to my old city, keep working.Pandemic stoped it.
I decided to make the best of the good years I have left, Don't compare yourself with other people, with large families and friends. You are your on person, I got "Life alert", I asked permission from a neighbour to put him on my contacts, I asked a former client(not expecting any help), I asked a man I don't like ,he said yes. I ga ve them keys of my place(not excepting much)I have 2 cats,the neighbour accepted to help.I stepted over my dignity to ask all of this people, but I need it for "life alert", My dignity is OK. Have a will left on the table, and put money on for the care of the cats.*there are organizations.
What I am trying to say, accept the situation, and get out more, smile to the people with dogs, enjoy long walks, go back in your memories, sun is a good medication for lifting you up.Life is good! Stay healthy, and do not expect much fom people, don't be sad and bitter, they don't like it. ..................."Life alert " is $99a month.4 divisers, and on the go.😊
You are not the only "senior orphan".
 
I'm similar and will be if I make it to more advanced old age.

I don't know if you have the funds for a lawyer, but you can have your final wishes for care in writing done. Then have those wishes taken and scanned or copies given to your MD and all hospitals in the area. You can probably do this without an attorney. I'd do a Google search and it's something I will need to do. Should do now but...
 

There are some members in this forum, who are in the same situation. Why not establish a phone chain? Every day at a certain time (it should be possible even with the time zones) a member phones another member and so on. You could also organize a short daily zoom meeting for all such members.
 
I'm 71 and in pretty much the same situation. I do volunteer work and use my church pastor as an emergency contact.
What I really need is someone to by my Personal Representative to manage the disposal of my estate when I die. Which my doctor tells me shouldn't happen any time soon. Maybe someone in my church would accept the task........Except for the farm which is going to the operator who farms it, I'm leaving everything to the church, so the PR would have a lot of help from the congregation.
 
The OP has not written a new post since October the 15th. Could this be another "fly by " member who posts, then disappears? JIM.
 
Maybe not a "fly by", just didnt do email notifications. Or maybe OP is frustrated cause there really is no solution. I hate to say this but it is what it is.

I dont have an EC either. Life goes on. Worrying about it wont change anything. Its not like you can nab one off the street. :D
Im an only child with no kids. My husband passed away recently, and all my relatives and friends have passed away too. Ive outlived everybody. Benefits of good genes I guess.
 
Veronica said:
Maybe not a "fly by", just didnt do email notifications. Or maybe OP is frustrated cause there really is no solution. I hate to say this but it is what it is.

I dont have an EC either. Life goes on. Worrying about it wont change anything. Its not like you can nab one off the street. :D
Im an only child with no kids. My husband passed away recently, and all my relatives and friends have passed away too. Ive outlived everybody. Benefits of good genes I guess.
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I'm sorta in a similar situation to yours; I didn't have kids either; the one sibling that I was still in contact with died in 2020; my husband's still alive and I do have some relatives still living but none that are in a position to do much to help. So if Huzz dies or goes permanently into a nursing facility before I do, I will have lost my only remaining friend.

I think there are more and more seniors in this position. Which could explain why there seems to be more and more loneliness amongst seniors, I guess.
 
officerripley said:
I'm sorta in a similar situation to yours; I didn't have kids either; the one sibling that I was still in contact with died in 2020; my husband's still alive and I do have some relatives still living but none that are in a position to do much to help. So if Huzz dies or goes permanently into a nursing facility before I do, I will have lost my only remaining friend.

I think there are more and more seniors in this position. Which could explain why there seems to be more and more loneliness amongst seniors, I guess.
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Nice to see another Huz. I thought I was the only one who had one. :D
Mine was younger than me. Men just dont hold up well. Sigh.
BTDT with nursing homes and community spouse and all that.

There do seem to be a lot more lonely seniors. I think its harder on the extraverts. Im an introvert and an only. Ive always been comfortable with my own company. And if I do feel chatty there always the internet. :D
 
tatortot said:
I am 67 female and live with my cat.
Been having some trouble finding an organization or an individual to help me.

I don't work so I can go a very long time before I see anyone, or talk w/anyone. This scares me!

I have fears of rotting away in my home and my poor kitty starving to death.

Have been trying to volunteer to get out and meet people but they need contacts/ and emergency contacts which I do not have.

I have no one for a living will or dying will. Hospitalization is scary for me also.

Neighbors, family, friends out of the question. Non-existent.

Many people tell me about call in services, or apps, life alert that keep in contact. Those services still need an emergency contact.

Ugh!
Why is it so hard to find help? I have tried everything and talked to a lot of agencies. No luck!
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Welp it seems to me you're making a tiny hurdle like the lack of an emergency contact stop you from progressing. If it helps I could be your EC till you become more engaged in your community.
 
Veronica said:
There do seem to be a lot more lonely seniors. I think its harder on the extraverts. Im an introvert and an only. Ive always been comfortable with my own company. And if I do feel chatty there always the internet. :D
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I too am an introvert but managed to be one because I always had dogs which I considered friends. Just had to have my last dog put to sleep and for various reasons am unable to get another; also due to health issues and no longer being able to drive, can't get out and attempt to socialize, so thank goodness for the internet. It and Huzz are all I have left. (Which I know makes me better off than a lot of people.)
 
I'm 79 and in the same boat. Retired from a nonprofit a few months ago, and I live alone minus any relatives or anybody I could ask to be my EC. I don't feel the need to socialize, and senior centers just won't work for me. I prefer to research and learn online and write poetry. I feel great, work out, walk 2 hours daily, take a few pills, have no need for an EC now, and will probably live longer than I want to, which will make the need of an EC more likely.

One problem I see with growing older is you outlive others, or they get too sick to help. Though I'm fortunate with no mobility problems and young for my age, unexpected medical maladies can easily happen as you grow older and things that only happen to others can happen to you. I worked with the elderly for over 20 years and saw this happen many times.

The only thing I have in place is my body will be donated to a university when I die. My hope is that I don't get debilitated and become unable to take care of myself. That seems impossible to me now, but you have to somewhat expected the unexpected as you grow older -- and that might be you just die in your sleep, or you might be stricken with something like a dementia that will render you unable to take care of yourself. I haven't found a solution for the lack of an EC so far. It's a bit troubling to me in case I have to have something medically done that requires I have someone to drive me home.
 
officerripley said:
I too am an introvert but managed to be one because I always had dogs which I considered friends. Just had to have my last dog put to sleep and for various reasons am unable to get another; also due to health issues and no longer being able to drive, can't get out and attempt to socialize, so thank goodness for the internet. It and Huzz are all I have left. (Which I know makes me better off than a lot of people.)
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Im sorry to hear you cant get out. I dont have any health issues. I just dont want to go out. I think Im turning feral. I know I should socialize but it just seems like work. :D
 
Veronica said:
I know I should socialize but it just seems like work. :D
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Boy, isn't that the truth. The last few years, I feel like I'm putting on an act when I socialize, paste a smile on and ask how their grandkids are doing, how was their latest cruise, are they happy with the latest remodel of their house and do my darndest to look interested in their answers.
While they never ask me a thing about what's going on in my life. It's exhausting most of the time.

One reason I miss my dog so much; she always listened to me, lol.
 
The best friend to me and my husband appointed me as his EC. My husband had died and although he had two brothers they had not been in contact for 40 years. When this friend got ill and required a below the knee amputation, I learned it did not matter as he had living family. So, they had to be contacted about the situation.

Did his brothers step up and offer to take care of him. No, he came home with me to recover. I took care of him for 3 months until he got his prosthetic leg. I brought all the needed equipment into my home. I cooked healthy diabetic meals, he lost 50 lbs and had his best A1C at 5.1. I bathed him except for private areas, I cut his hair, I emptied and cleaned the bedside toilet and urinal.

.I was happy that his brothers would come over and renewed their relationship. Three years later, my friend had a heart attack at home. He passed on the way to the hospital. The hospital called me and again, he had living relatives so I had to call them to go to the hospital. Then the brothers had to contact me because I had the contract for his paid funeral instructions.

Once that was taken care of, the shock of shocks, they had no interest in collecting his ashes. He is her with me, next to my husband. Then came the will, everything was left to my son, except the dog, I got the dog. I was shocked, I thought they would contest but they said not a word.

Life is a funny thing, even though you have appointed someone, if there is a living relative, they must be contacted, at least in Texas.
 
officerripley said:
Boy, isn't that the truth. The last few years, I feel like I'm putting on an act when I socialize, paste a smile on and ask how their grandkids are doing, how was their latest cruise, are they happy with the latest remodel of their house and do my darndest to look interested in their answers.
While they never ask me a thing about what's going on in my life. It's exhausting most of the time.

One reason I miss my dog so much; she always listened to me, lol.
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I dont get any of that stuff. I really do have no outside contacts. I know what you mean though. BTDT in the past.

And thats why I like the forums. You say your two cents without being interrupted. :D
 
I've been thinking of registering with a free daily check in service, but if I failed to check in, the service would call or text my emergency contact who lives 200 miles away. He only answers calls from contacts, and never checks voicemail. I don't know if he reads texts. If by chance the service managed to reach him, I'm certain he would call me to see if I'm okay before driving 200 miles, but weird things happen - sometimes our phones are broken, batteries are down, we are on another call; our cellular service is experiencing problems, and so on. So I am reluctant to use a service like that.
 
I have not fully checked into every Life Line service out there, yet I find it hard to believe; If there is no ER contact that they would not call an Ambulance for you. All services will call an Ambulance if that is how you set it up.

Realistically:
  • In the event of a Fall – then you are conscious and able to dial 911 for help. Cell phones come in wrist bands now that you don’t have to use a service. If you fall, mostly like you will still have to go to a hospital to be checked over. So why not call 911 directly yourself.
  • In the event of a Fall, which you are not conscious – then this requires outside services. Again, there are devices that alert 911 that you have fallen and need assistant. Much like a home security system, but for medical purposes.

Others in this forum have some good ideas as well.
  • Talk to your Office of Aging. -- Explain the situation. They can guide you to the necessary people or help you directly.
  • Talk to your Doctor. -- They have a lot of knowledge on this subject as well.
  • Talk to your Church -- What church would refuse a person asking for help?
  • Services – If you want to pay, and you absolutely need a contact, bending your pride and asking a neighbor might the only method to go.


Being cautious and preparing is a good thing, but going overboard can become an anxiety issue.

Keep us posted of your decision/results.
 
Vicky said:
I have not fully checked into every Life Line service out there, yet I find it hard to believe; If there is no ER contact that they would not call an Ambulance for you. All services will call an Ambulance if that is how you set it up.

Realistically:
  • In the event of a Fall – then you are conscious and able to dial 911 for help. Cell phones come in wrist bands now that you don’t have to use a service. If you fall, mostly like you will still have to go to a hospital to be checked over. So why not call 911 directly yourself.
  • In the event of a Fall, which you are not conscious – then this requires outside services. Again, there are devices that alert 911 that you have fallen and need assistant. Much like a home security system, but for medical purposes.

Others in this forum have some good ideas as well.
  • Talk to your Office of Aging. -- Explain the situation. They can guide you to the necessary people or help you directly.
  • Talk to your Doctor. -- They have a lot of knowledge on this subject as well.
  • Talk to your Church -- What church would refuse a person asking for help?
  • Services – If you want to pay, and you absolutely need a contact, bending your pride and asking a neighbor might the only method to go.


Being cautious and preparing is a good thing, but going overboard can become an anxiety issue.

Keep us posted of your decision/results.
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Thanks for your thoughtful suggestions. After my original post, I registered with a free service from Snug Safety. It's a phone App. I've seen a lot of positive reviews about them. I gave Snug Safety the number of a local friend who would come check on me if I don't check in daily. If he got to the house and found I was not okay, he would contact my cousin, who is the one that lives 200 miles from me.
 
tatortot said:
I looked into those already they need someone to contact when they can't get a hold of you, and need an emergency contact
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Can you give a doctors number or why can't they call the police to do a wellness check if they can't get you after a certain number of calls? Seems like it shouldn't be this hard.
 
I live alone with no family. I don't have an emergency contact. I have a living will and my remains go to a body farm. The landlord will have to figure out to do with my stuff. Probably call the VA and donate it to homeless veterans.
 
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Lonewolf said:
I'm 79 and in the same boat. Retired from a nonprofit a few months ago, and I live alone minus any relatives or anybody I could ask to be my EC. I don't feel the need to socialize, and senior centers just won't work for me. I prefer to research and learn online and write poetry. I feel great, work out, walk 2 hours daily, take a few pills, have no need for an EC now, and will probably live longer than I want to, which will make the need of an EC more likely.

One problem I see with growing older is you outlive others, or they get too sick to help. Though I'm fortunate with no mobility problems and young for my age, unexpected medical maladies can easily happen as you grow older and things that only happen to others can happen to you. I worked with the elderly for over 20 years and saw this happen many times.

The only thing I have in place is my body will be donated to a university when I die. My hope is that I don't get debilitated and become unable to take care of myself. That seems impossible to me now, but you have to somewhat expected the unexpected as you grow older -- and that might be you just die in your sleep, or you might be stricken with something like a dementia that will render you unable to take care of yourself. I haven't found a solution for the lack of an EC so far. It's a bit troubling to me in case I have to have something medically done that requires I have someone to drive me home.
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Same here, I donated my body. Fortunately I'm still in decent shape and walk every day. Seems like as soon as I turned 65, my warranty expired and I started having problems. Right now my only concern is losing mobility and not being to take care of myself. I have a living will through the VA. They'll know what to do with everything else.
 

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