Emotional affair vs Physical affair

[outlander]

Somehow that doesn't sound like it was worth it. They only have themselves to blame, but maybe they will learn from the experience and move on a little wiser.

 

[Trish]

I did a lot of soul searching, and that encompassed more than just the marriage. Who am I? Who am I without work? Who am I in terms of my roots (family). Why do I think what I think? Why are my ideals, ideals? Am I expecting something from my partner that is directly opposed to what she expects? How much do I give in relation to how much I take? What is important when I'm working, as opposed to when I'm retired?

Does everyone go through such things?

Yes, I think so.

Self-awareness is, I think, really important. If we are not aware of our own strengths and weaknesses, it is difficult to see how we can understand how our actions affect our relationships, not just marriages but, friendships, work, family etc. I am thinking out loud really because, it is obvious you not only appreciate the difficulties but, you have done the work to figure things out.

 

[Been There]

Over my 30 years in the Marines, I have had quite a few Marines cry on my shoulder when they got a “Dear John” letter breaking off their engagement or a letter from a wife telling her Marine husband that she has a lover and will be leaving him (the husband). Usually, it’s been my experience that wives do this while their husband is on deployment, which is the worse time to give their husband such bad news. I had a few men have a nervous breakdown. One Marine had 2 children, a daughter and a son in their early teens and he threatened suicide.

 

[VaughanJB]

Yes, I think so.

Self-awareness is, I think, really important. If we are not aware of our own strengths and weaknesses, it is difficult to see how we can understand how our actions affect our relationships, not just marriages but, friendships, work, family etc. I am thinking out loud really because, it is obvious you not only appreciate the difficulties but, you have done the work to figure things out.

Well, I'm still on the journey. Not sure if I'll ever truly figure it out. It's more about awareness at this point, one can't change the past, only learn from it. After retirement, I'm effectively an entirely new person. I no longer disappear all day, have a team relying on me, and fly off at a moments notice to some far flung corner of the globe. Instead, I'm in my living room. It's quite a change. Nothing about my work was home bound, so it all feels a little.... strange. I have to realize that it's not just strange for me.

You can also try to make yourself "a better person", but that only really helps if OTHERS think you're a better person. What one thinks of oneself isn't as important - we do tend to delude ourselves, you know?

I see others making mistakes now, and some times have to bite my tongue. We all have our own journey. But far too many people seem to want to hang on to things about themselves that are a net-negative. So I suppose this is what life makes us.