Englishmen and Thai women

There is a huge difference between going to Thailand ( or anywhere, including your own country) to hook up with prostitutes and looking anywhere for a woman to potentially marry
. It's OK to have a preference for what sort of values you are looking for in a spouse ( whether they are realistic or whether your preferred partner would also see you as a partner is another thing)
This thread seems to have tangled both.
 
dilettante said:
I suspect that it's biology. While women live longer, they go through the transition to asexual being far earlier in life. Child bearing years begin and end far younger than the equivalent in men. We tend to deny that culturally but our bodies know better.

It just is what it is.
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Non-fertile is not the same as asexual. Many women in their twenties can't have children and many post-menopausal women still enjoy sex.
Everyone's body peaks in their 20's, the world of sports show us that. A man may be able to reproduce longer than a woman but it's not ideal. An older man's children are far more likely to have birth defects and health problems.

That video you posted was ridiculous. It's easy to get a group of young Asian girls to giggle and laugh at a stereotypical view of American women. I think the woman with her list of things her man must do was invented, or at least she was one of a kind, and it's easy to ask a bunch of drunk young American women if they need men and have them say "no." I'm amazed you watch things like that and believe they're representative of any sort of majority and not hand picked to make the point of the guy talking.

The truth: "Employed women spend about 2.3 hours a day on housework, while employed men spend about 1.6 hours."

I've always done 100% of the housework in my house. My mother visited and wanted to do some things while I was at work and laughed that my husband didn't know where the vacuum was kept or anything about the kitchen. Yet, I'm a feminist because I think women should get equal pay for equal work and that we are equal to men. That's the definition of a feminist. It has nothing to do with, "values."

You think the feminist movement was somehow mean to men. The reality is, in most families today, the woman still does the bulk of housework and child care, plus works a full time job. They both get home from a hard day's work, he drops on the sofa and she goes into the kitchen and starts dinner.

Go ahead, Dilettante, buy yourself a mail order bride who will stay home and watch TV all day. Tell yourself that she's at home because she has "traditional values." That language barrier will help her agree with everything you say.
 
We have an inn in the next village with a large "biergarten" under old chestnut trees. A really lovely spot. There is a regular's table. All summer evenings there are sitting old men in their 60s and older with young Asian women (Thailand, Philippines etc.). I'm not even sure that all of them are married. To be honest, I always found this obscene.

In my neighborhood lives a woman from the Phillipines who works at this inn in the kitchen. She's in her 40s or 50s. Meanwhile she has the third or forth man from our village as her 'friend'. All the men before have died ...
 
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I have known several instances where men have gone to foreign countries for mates. It worked well for them. I think a good part of it is novelty. It is not unusual to hear people who are describing their loved ones to say they were “different” from all the others. I do not condemn them. When I was younger I had three different instances where I was approached to become a bride to a man wishing to gain citizenship. . In retrospect it could not of been worse than the choices I made on my own. Sex is a part of a relationship….but seldom the whole thing. Those of us who are outraged that someone might choose another so different from ourselves should perhaps glance in a mirror once in awhile.
 
Della said:
Go ahead, Dilettante, buy yourself a mail order bride who will stay home and watch TV all day. Tell yourself that she's at home because she has "traditional values." That language barrier will help her agree with everything you say.
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If guys are walking away from poor attitudes that's their choice. Despising decent women and the men who seek them out is just doubling down. You reap what you sow: only you have the power to change this.
 
Posting on the small SF web board isn't about whether or not thread subjects are our business or not. We make short comments on news, culture, society, that have no meaningful effects on whatever issues but rather allows others to understand a range of others opinions and reasons while providing us with a trivial public voice.

We also comment on personal subjects people post that can have effects on those persons. That is NOT the case with the OP thread that is a news subject. If some members post anecdotal personal information, they are then fair game for others to make comments on for or against on. So again "none of our business" does not apply.
 
Muskrat said:
I have known several instances where men have gone to foreign countries for mates. It worked well for them. I think a good part of it is novelty. It is not unusual to hear people who are describing their loved ones to say they were “different” from all the others. I do not condemn them. When I was younger I had three different instances where I was approached to become a bride to a man wishing to gain citizenship. . In retrospect it could not of been worse than the choices I made on my own. Sex is a part of a relationship….but seldom the whole thing. Those of us who are outraged that someone might choose another so different from ourselves should perhaps glance in a mirror once in awhile.
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And what might we see in the mirror that's not as fine as your own marvelous reflection?

I'm not "outraged" when I see a couple where the man is in his 70's and the wife is a very young woman from another country, but it does make me feel sad for her because I wonder how lonely she must be and how much she must miss her friends and family. I also know that her chances of having a baby are not good. The couple I know best is a 70 year-old man with a young wife from Russia who can barely speak English and always looks sad.
 
dilettante said:
If guys are walking away from poor attitudes that's their choice. Despising decent women and the men who seek them out is just doubling down. You reap what you sow: only you have the power to change this.
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No one has said anything critical about the women, we're just not too sure about some of the men. If, out of 186 million women in America you can't find one with a "good attitude," or "values" it makes us wonder.
 
Rose65 said:
My personal opinion is not positive on this subject. I have known of several Englishmen, who go to Thailand regularly. I am afraid I just do not respect them. I mean, what ARE they going there for except the obvious?

The cases I know of have turned out badly. Take one gentleman of our acquaintance, he just won't learn! Each Thai woman he has got involved with has turned out to be in it for the money and proceeded to drop him or cheat on him as soon as she found out he hadn't got any! He still goes there in hope.

The crux of the matter is that it is often the older men, well past their prime, who get so dazzled and carried away when young beautiful girls seem fascinated with them. They are blind to the potential disaster of it all.

Sorry to be so cynical but it is how I see it. I could of course be totally wrong and there may well be many happy successful marriages with Thai girls?
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If there are any happy and successful stories out there I would like to hear them. All the You Tube video about these guys and Thai girls are very negative. They take them for all the money they can get.
 
@Della you think I think I am perfect? When I look in my mirror I see a woman of opinions and power. I am going to be equal in a relationship. I work hard. I am a feminist. I am outspoken. I can not possibly compete with someone who buys into the whole subservient thing. I ruined several marriages trying. I am ok with that. I do not think men are missing out by not being with me…it takes a brave, strong man.
 
Muskrat said:
@Della you think I think I am perfect? When I look in my mirror I see a woman of opinions and power. I am going to be equal in a relationship. I work hard. I am a feminist. I am outspoken. I can not possibly compete with someone who buys into the whole subservient thing. I ruined several marriages trying. I am ok with that. I do not think men are missing out by not being with me…it takes a brave, strong man.
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Well you explained what you see when you look in the mirror but that still doesn't explain why you told the rest of us we should look in the mirror, with, "Those of us who are outraged that someone might choose another so different from ourselves should perhaps glance in a mirror once in awhile."

None of us were outraged that someone would choose someone different from us.

Since people keep trying to make this about race or implying that we're "demonizing" the women I'll just have to say what I think straight out.

Lot's of these mail order brides from other countries are put up for sale by their fathers and money passes from the American man straight to him. They are buying jobless women who live in poor countries and are as subservient to their parents as the man is hoping she'll be to him.
 
This is true. And this is sad. But to assume it all ends badly is not not acknowledge the differences in the two parties involved. Not all thai women who hook up with men from another country are gold diggers. Nor are they all young. Some just like the guy.
 
Muskrat said:
This is true. And this is sad. But to assume it all ends badly is not not acknowledge the differences in the two parties involved. Not all thai women who hook up with men from another country are gold diggers. Nor are they all young. Some just like the guy
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No one said they all were, in fact, on page 2, we talked about the happy couples we knew with Americans and Thai husbands and wives. We aren't even talking specifically about Thai women anymore.

There is certainly some demonizing going on here and it seems to be directed at those of us who are simply trying to discuss this.

We've been told that American women are unfeminine, unattractive, asexual, women with bad attitudes, no decent values and are worthless once we pass menopause -- oh yes, and that we should look at ourselves in the mirror to understand why American men have to go to other countries to find wives.
 
Della said:
There is certainly some demonizing going on here and it seems to be directed at those of us who are simply trying to discuss this.

We've been told that American women are unfeminine, unattractive, asexual, women with bad attitudes, no decent values and are worthless once we pass menopause -- oh yes, and that we should look at ourselves in the mirror to understand why American men have to go to other countries to find wives.
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Well, consider the source of that demonizing... Sounds like such a prize himself.
 
Rose65 said:
My personal opinion is not positive on this subject. I have known of several Englishmen, who go to Thailand regularly. I am afraid I just do not respect them. I mean, what ARE they going there for except the obvious?
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It has to be for more than just the obvious, after all, they can get the obvious in Amsterdam's red light district.
 
Della said:
We've been told that American women are unfeminine, unattractive, asexual, women with bad attitudes, no decent values and are worthless once we pass menopause -- oh yes, and that we should look at ourselves in the mirror to understand why American men have to go to other countries to find wives.
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There is good news and bad news on the horizon, Della. The good news is, American males will no longer have to travel overseas to find the women of their dreams. The bad news is, American women will soon be obsolete and your husband might even trade you in for one of these. LMAO!
https://www.kpbs.org/news/arts-culture/2018/04/20/realdoll-launches-ai-sex-dolls
 
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