Ever Change Someone?

ClassicRockr

ClassicRockr

Well-known Member
Ever show/suggest to someone how they could relax more and enjoy life better? Ever show someone how to have fun? Ever changed someone's looks and they loved that you done it? Ever help someone stop a bad habit they had?
 

Well, when I first met my wife, she was wearing the old "pointed" type cowboy boots and basically knew nothing about the sport of rodeo. At the time, on weekends, I was involved with professional rodeo. I was wearing, like a lot of ropers I knew, "Roper" style boots (low heel and rounded front). These boots were specifically made for both Team Ropers and Tie-Down Ropers b/c they fit so well into the stirrup of the saddle. I showed my wife the style of boot I was wearing and told her that she'd look "really cool" in a pair of them. She liked mine, so we headed to a Western store and I bought her a pair of black Roper boots. As I thought, she looked great in them. After a few months, we both bought a pair of Ariat Lace-Up Roper boots. We both looked good in them as well.

I took her to many rodeo's, after we first met, and she learned about each event and the "rodeo lingo" that was used. She was very thankful towards me for doing this, but not so much her mom. Her mom said "why can't these guys just accept her for the way she is"? Her mom just couldn't understand why she had to learn about the different events and the "lingo". I told her mom, "I know these guys and they will think she is just some "Buckle Bunny" directly from a nightclub." Well, she was at one time, but not anymore.
She wanted to be a part of rodeo and I helped her be just that.

How did she change me? She helped me stop using/"dipping" Skoal. It didn't bother her that I used the stuff, but as time went on, we both knew that I needed to stop. She helped me to learn to say "please" and "thank you" more.
 
Hummmm, nobody ever "help" someone to change their personality, looks, whatever?
 

Glad your wife helped you to stop dipping, there was a guy I worked with who eventually got cancer from it. Another guy used to pull it out of his mouth in the sink at work in the breakroom, I thought it was a disgusting habit. I used to smoke, but wouldn't consider even trying chewing tobacco. Guess not too many women do it, I don't know. But I can understand the attraction, I hear it's immediately relaxing, much more than a cigarette.

I can't really remember changing anyone in a major way, but I have helped a few people over the years who were really negative and angry about things, or depressed. Folks often came to me for advice, and I'd try to tell them to look at the 'big picture', and their complaints or problems would usually be brought down to a realistic size.
 
Change someone? That can't be done. No one can change another person. A person can change, but only that person can make a change.

It's like motivation. No one can motivate another person. Motivation comes from within.

We can "suggest" changes until the cows come home, but whether someone else adopts those suggestions is something they decide for themselves. If a person makes a change to please another person, it's a change that won't last.
 
Why on Earth would I presume to be qualified to change ANYONE ?!

I find it best to mind my own business and let the professionals do the changing, if they can help.
 
We can only change ourselves....course we know we're perfect!:)

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Well, one thing for sure, my wife had no objections to changing the type of Western boots she was wearing, being around the rodeo family I knew and learning the lingo. She really gives me the credit for the changes, but you folks are 100% right.........if she didn't want to change, she wouldn't have. Her mom didn't understand the "change", but did finally accept it when she seen how happy her daughter was about it. In fact, we both wanted a Western Wedding and that's exactly what we had..........including me roping my new bride at our Wedding Reception! Yep, swung my loop, delivered it right around her and pulled her in! Sure was easier than trying to catch a steer! LOL
 
I know the party line is that we cannot change others, but I disagree.

In my professional life I spent over 35 years changing people. Yes, of course it was their decision to change, but I was the "finger pointing to the moon" (Buddhist quote), the catalyst, that instituted that change, and I'm rightly honored and proud to have been a vital part of that process.

But my private life has a less impressive batting average - for every positive change I've wrought there seems to be a negative one. I suppose when I shed my "working clothes", when I cease being Doctor Phil or Sifu Phil, I also sometimes lose sight of the big picture that is always present in my work.

I suppose I'm still a work in progress in that way. :(
 
"their decision to change" says it all.

Many don't or won't change. Can they change-absolutely. At any age.

One of the road blocks as usual is ego. Many think they learned everything they needed when young or had/have their act together since then. Change would be admission they are doing something wrong or could do something better. Some people hate effort and work as well.

That and many view a teacher as an authority figure. Those people that don't want to learn or change now were probably rebel boys and girls when young. They are still fighting the power stickin it to the man. In some respects people don't change, they simply ACT differently. Most people change their acting style but not content.
 

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