Fear of Dementia

[Keesha]

I get stuck on over staring.

 

[officerripley]

2, 000 a day ???? are you sure ? what was it . Buckingham Palace ? how could anyone afford 2 grand a day ?

Nursing homes here in my state usually start at about $6,000/month (the fanciest one is actually $8,000/month); assisted living starts at anywhere between $3,000 and $4,000. (Last time I checked, about a year ago; no doubt it's gone up since then and a lot of staff have been laid off because of Covid...to quote one of the Alien movies: "Real nice party, ain't it?")

 

[hollydolly]

Nursing homes here in my state usually start at about $6,000/month (the fanciest one is actually $8,000/month); assisted living starts at anywhere between $3,000 and $4,000. (Last time I checked, about a year ago; no doubt it's gone up since then and a lot of staff have been laid off because of Covid...to quote one of the Alien movies: "Real nice party, ain't it?")

yes that's about the same price as here.. $6000 = £4,300 British Pounds ( approx 1k a week... )

 

[officerripley]

We have a man here that's never been found. He's been gone a year.

A similar thing also happened here: A man who was only in his 70s but despondent over the death of his wife suddenly announced one December to his grown kids who also lived here that he was going to drive to the other end of the state (about a 10 hour drive in each direction) to spend Christmas with either (I forget which) friends or family down there. His kids said, "Gee, I don't know, Dad; none of us can get away to go with you and that's an awful long drive." He: "Oh, don't worry. I'll take my time, make a 2-day trip out of it so I can stop at motels before dark; it'll be okay." They decided well, maybe the change of scenery would do him good, he'd been so despondent over the mom's death, "Oh, okay; well, call us as soon as you get there." "Oh, I will."

Off he went. On the 3rd day, the kids call whoever it was he was going to spend the holidays with, "Didn't he get there yet?" "Get here? We didn't even know he was coming; when did he leave there?" Uh oh. So now the police put out a BOLO for him and his car, hospitals, motels, etc. all along the way were checked with, nothing. After a while, the police said they couldn't devote any more time to it; it was going in the cold case file. 1 or 2 family members even drove back & forth along the route he would've taken talking to people, putting up missing fliers, etc. but nothing.

Then at least 4 or 5 months later, some loggers about 4 hours north of here were finally able to get back into their logging area since the snow had finally melted and found him dead in his car on a logging road; he'd driven 'till his car got stuck in the snow and then more snow fell so his car wouldn't've been spotted from the air either. And I can't remember whether he left a suicide note or they were figuring he had driven up there purposely to commit suicide because he had bolt cutters with him to cut open the gate across the logging road. You know, if it was suicide, what he put his family through; I mean it's hard enough if a loved one commits suicide, but they were left wondering what happened to him--is he in a shallow grave somewhere and is his car in about 20 pieces in different chop shops, poor Dad--for at least four months! Awful.

 

[MarciKS]

A similar thing also happened here: A man who was only in his 70s but despondent over the death of his wife suddenly announced one December to his grown kids who also lived here that he was going to drive to the other end of the state (about a 10 hour drive in each direction) to spend Christmas with either (I forget which) friends or family down there. His kids said, "Gee, I don't know, Dad; none of us can get away to go with you and that's an awful long drive." He: "Oh, don't worry. I'll take my time, make a 2-day trip out of it so I can stop at motels before dark; it'll be okay." They decided well, maybe the change of scenery would do him good, he'd been so despondent over the mom's death, "Oh, okay; well, call us as soon as you get there." "Oh, I will."

Off he went. On the 3rd day, the kids call whoever it was he was going to spend the holidays with, "Didn't he get there yet?" "Get here? We didn't even know he was coming; when did he leave there?" Uh oh. So now the police put out a BOLO for him and his car, hospitals, motels, etc. all along the way were checked with, nothing. After a while, the police said they couldn't devote any more time to it; it was going in the cold case file. 1 or 2 family members even drove back & forth along the route he would've taken talking to people, putting up missing fliers, etc. but nothing.

Then at least 4 or 5 months later, some loggers about 4 hours north of here were finally able to get back into their logging area since the snow had finally melted and found him dead in his car on a logging road; he'd driven 'till his car got stuck in the snow and then more snow fell so his car wouldn't've been spotted from the air either. And I can't remember whether he left a suicide note or they were figuring he had driven up there purposely to commit suicide because he had bolt cutters with him to cut open the gate across the logging road. You know, if it was suicide, what he put his family through; I mean it's hard enough if a loved one commits suicide, but they were left wondering what happened to him--is he in a shallow grave somewhere and is his car in about 20 pieces in different chop shops, poor Dad--for at least four months! Awful.

At least at the nursing home they know where he is even if he's being neglected. But at the same time he probably knew what was happening and wanted the right to take care of it in his own way.

 

[win231]

I live alone and honestly there's not really anyone here to take notice if something goes wrong & I won't be able to do anything about it. I'll just end up somewhere some day not knowing where I am or even being aware I'm lost. I just hope it's not in the middle of winter & I don't accidentally board a flight for another country. That would tick me off if I suddenly remembered who I was and I was in India or something.

Yes, and you'd have to learn to like Curry.