The unacceptable behavior itself does not just hurt the objects of prejudice, but whether they realize it or not it hurts them--they are feeding their souls a steady diet of fear, anger, bigotry and often violent thoughts and actions--in the long run it will hurt them. Also, i suspect a lot of very public vitriol we see is fueled by fear that things are changing--that these 'ugly' behaviors they consider normal are becoming unacceptable.
While i agree there are still a lot of humans who attack (often fear and so hate) those who are different, i don't believe this has to continue as an accepted human trait. When enough people who know better, do better and raise their kids to do better the human race could out grow this behavior. Keep in mind children often learn more from how we behave than just what we say, especially if the two don't match up well. So modeling inclusive behaviors matters.
For me all kinds of inclusivity is important, demographic, physical appearance, choice of faith or choosing not to have a religion, being neuro-divergent, mentally challenged or mentally ill. Blanket stigmas on 'groups/classes' of people are not acceptable, tho we are all free to choose who we personally will associate with, spend time/energy engaging in social interactions with and we all have a right to defend ourselves and loved ones from attacks.
As early as the late 1940's my parents were teaching us that 'people are people'. That one should only form opinions about others based on that individual's words and actions (paying attention to the consistency between what they say and what they do as well). We raised ours that way too--it took with some of the 'Grands' better than others. i feel blessed it took well with all 3 of mine, even the son that leans toward conservative attitudes.
Less than a hundred years ago doctors were still recommending that both children with Down's Syndrome and on the Autism Spectrum be institutionalized. Temple Grandin is 1 yr and 1 wk younger than me and i am so grateful her mother did not follow that advice. She's contributed so much, not just to the field she's degreed in but toward a better understanding of Autism Spectrum.
Doctors also sometime in the 50s or 60s i think, recommended S.I. Hayakawa (Professor, author one time President Emeritus of Berkley University and a U.S. Senator) institutionalize his son who had Down's Syndrome. He didn't. His other two children as young adults talked to a magazine (can't remember which read article so long ago) about how glad they were to have their brother with them, that they learned from the experience and felt enriched by it.
My point is we don't all learn at the same rate especially when it comes to how we deal with life and other people. But as a species we do make psychological-social progress from one generation to the next. Sometimes it feels way too slow to those of us who've been inclusive most all of our lives, but it also can feel too fast that aren't. If we don't destroy ourselves one way or the other --- we could improve as species.
On side note i could make an argument for trusting one's instincts over the 'experts' based on the paradigm changes on what should be done with people neurologically 'different' since the middle of the last century. It's one of the reasons i don't give 'scientists' a pass on their mistakes--because some of them do damage to human beings already vulnerable. There's really not a whole lot of difference between the paradigms of social sciences and religious dogma, the main one being that when individuals consistently challenge the paradigms---science, often in attempt to prove their critics wrong, do more research, discover their errors and DO change faster than religions do.
That was such a lovely post . You clearly have done a fabulous job of raising your children and maintaining the integrity you wish to instil in them.
Your ideas and standards of living to combat hostility are admirable. Clearly you’ve put a lot of thought into this to protect yourself and your family.
Less than a hundred years ago they also institutionalized those with mental disorders. Before that they burned them to a stake. Less than ONE HUNDRED years ago!!!!!!
Does that not astound you? Does that not make you shake your head in shear disbelief?
In the mid evil times, they used to quarter humans by way of using horses while they sat eating in the stadium cheering. The Vikings used to pillage and vandalize others to steal from them. Are we instinctively savages?
When riots break out, people think it’s a perfect opportunity to break into stores to steal stuff. These are recent events. There’s been a president who has been known to blurt out racial comments.
In reality, it’s all about status and human beings are just as motivated by it as pack animals. Pack mentality is a phenomenon in which people make decisions based upon the actions of others, sometimes without even realizing it. It stems from the animalistic drive to want to fit in. We ARE social and status-seeking animals after all.
Most people go with what the majority thinks and align their behaviour to fit into the pack in an effort to not be left behind.
I’m learning all this as I write and realize how abnormal I am. This is why animals do this. Apparently it’s an instinctual behaviour but there’s an evolutionary reason why.
There’s an instinctive reason to want to fit it. It’s a fact that ones that don’t fit in have less of a survival rate. Ones who survive are the usually the strongest and healthiest both physically and mentally which is sought after due to genetic factors. Having the healthiest genetics helps the pack survive as a species.
Since humans are basically pack animals, we have pack animal mentality. Like a pack of wolves killing the injured or weakest in order not to slow the pack down, humans do something similar. Humans are known to snap at the weakest link or ones that don’t quite fit it whether that be for racial reasons, some type of deformity, social status etc. When one person is considered very abnormal , it’s not unusual for a pack to attack.
While I applaud your sentiment in thinking human pack mentality can be something we outgrow, I can’t share your views. Mankind is far too greedy, too selfish, and too arrogantly egotistical to live much longer. These ugly characteristics have helped kill off half of the worlds species and will eventually be what makes us extinct.
Look at the world right now. There’s global warming, global forest fires, global pandemics, global flooding, hurricanes etc., most of it due to our own greed. If selfish greed can’t be outgrown before our extinction, pack mentality definitely can’t be.
It’s an interesting conversation and something I’ve thought of quite often.
I wish I could think more highly of our species but know that I’d be kidding myself.
