Friendly Advice Needed

At this point, I'd say your mind is already made up an at age 35 his daughter should be mature enough to understand his position. I would hope she wouldn't try to blackmail you with, "you don't love me" nonsense. Trying to give him a guilty conscience. Be firm Packer.
 

mellowyellow said:
I think it all depends on how much you love her and how much she loves you.
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I would disagree. It depends on how much, as an older person, you can tolerate. My daughter, her 6 yappy toy poodles which I babysat as they ran around town. While she was here she bought a standard poodle puppy so we had her 7 dogs and my two dogs.

Nine dogs, a 2 year old, her and her husband for a week and a half, my husband and me. plus they are vegetarians and we are not. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s not about love, it’s about how much you can/want to tolerate.
 
If you love your daughter and want to continue to have a close relationship, keep 'space' between you two.

I love my grown daughters and stay in close contact, but if we lived under the same roof now I just know it would turn ugly ...lol ... they say it wouldn't, but I've seen those living conditions, and they don't work for anyone for very long.
 
Packerjohn said:
My daughter, age 35, has recently left her husband & seeking a divorce. She has hinted that she would like to go back to school & work part time. Right now she lives in a city that is 1,400 km away & it is a big city. I live in a small town of 2,0000. She is hinting that this arrangement might be up to 2 years. Now, the truth is that I will be 75 in 2 months & I have been living alone since the death of my dear wife & I like being alone. The problem is that I don't know if I want to be a father to a 35 year old woman. It is not the same when I was young & bringing up the kids. I don't have the energy anymore. I think it might be better to say no up front. Besides, I live in a 55 plus apartment & this is not a multi-generation building. The advice I'm asking for is what do you think? Do any of you have had this experience? If not, maybe you have knowledge of other families or neighbours who have experienced this? I would appreciate some advice. Thanks to all for any advice.
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A parents love runs strong, we always want to be there for our children, however, based upon the fact that you reside in a 55-plus complex, that in itself changes the dynamics of the situation, as does knowing that you enjoy living alone.

If you owned your own home and could split living arrangements where you got the up, and she got the down (or vice-versa), how simple that would be, but considering your current living situation, I feel it would be in your favour to decline.
 
Ruby Rose said:
I simply helped her move on to another one of my brothers where she pretty well stayed until the end. She liked his wife because she was a hairdresser and kept Mom's hair up. Perhaps an element of jealousy...didn't want to share me...to this day, I still wonder about all of that.
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Hahahahaha-this made me think of my mom,Ruby. She fixed my newly divorced brother up with her hairdresser and they fell madly in love and married two months later (his 3rd,her 4th). But they were happily married for 30 years until she passed suddenly five years ago. My mom had four daughters but once she met Cathy and she became her DIL,we always swore she was her favorite.She looooved always having her hair freshly "done" lol.
 
Packerjohn said:
My daughter, age 35, has recently left her husband & seeking a divorce. She has hinted that she would like to go back to school & work part time. Right now she lives in a city that is 1,400 km away & it is a big city. I live in a small town of 2,0000. She is hinting that this arrangement might be up to 2 years. Now, the truth is that I will be 75 in 2 months & I have been living alone since the death of my dear wife & I like being alone. The problem is that I don't know if I want to be a father to a 35 year old woman. It is not the same when I was young & bringing up the kids. I don't have the energy anymore. I think it might be better to say no up front. Besides, I live in a 55 plus apartment & this is not a multi-generation building. The advice I'm asking for is what do you think? Do any of you have had this experience? If not, maybe you have knowledge of other families or neighbours who have experienced this? I would appreciate some advice. Thanks to all for any advice.
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I would say 'yes'.
 
I don't think we are talking about the daughter just moving back with her 75 year old father. I went to a state college, and had to work fulltime., just to pay for books, plus get loans. I'm trying to understand how working part time is going to pay for school, books, food, car insurance, etc,. etc. I believe his daughter should be able to go to school, without having her 75 year old dad give up his home.
 

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