From The Onion, " How to Fight ISIS"

The government has formed the Redneck Defense Corps and will parachute the RDC troops into Isis territory early next week. The Corps is made up of men from Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Virginia, West Virginia, Georgia, North and South Carolina and Alabama. They will only be given the following information:

1. Open season starts Monday.
2. There is no limit.
3. Terrorists taste like chicken.
4. Isis hates America, women, pick up trucks, country music and Jesus.
5. Isis is directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

Government projections call for the end of all terrorist problems by Friday at the latest.
 

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