CooCooforCoCoPuffs
Senior Member
So you are lacking in fun and things to look forward to as you grow older.
What did you do before for fun and things to look forward to?
What did you do before for fun and things to look forward to?
Fun & things to look forward to
- Thread starter noolsg
- Start date
Platitudinal crap, nonsense and bullshit.
noolsg
New Member
Good question. I had my job and a lot more energy. I was able to drive at night. My parents were alive. I could travel. I looked forward to holidays. Ive often gone away alone but feel reluctant now leaving my husband. I was busy. I have volunteered since retiring but had a very bad experienice from amother volunteer after three years. That’s an incredible story there with the result I’m completely not into volunteering.
noolsg
New Member
Thank you so much. I wish it was true.
You can always come to me for the honest lowdown. No claptrap, no frills.
CooCooforCoCoPuffs
Senior Member
So, you are dealing with low energy; you are having eyesight issues at night; your parents died.
What do you feel the low energy may be from?
Have you tried any solutions to your night eyesight issues?
Looks like you are in a place where many of us have seen our parents pass on...can't bring those back of course.
Where did you like traveling to? By what mode of travel?
Why did you look forward to holidays?
Why do you feel reluctant leaving your hubby? His reluctance to leave the house, can you explain this a bit more?
It sounds like you miss being busy.
It sounds like the volunteering was something you enjoyed - THREE years is a long time! Am sorry one experience spoiled your whole inspiration for volunteering in the first place! How very sad for other potentially good, even fantastic future experiences! But it sounds as if you have made up your mind to completely wash your hands of that. Must admit the incredible story tweaks my human curiosity, will not press of course...will let that just be.
So you are in a knitting group; you signed up last April for another group.
Sounds like you enjoy socializing type groups: women, men or both, or it does not matter? Are you missing socializing with women/peers a great deal?
Retiree groups in this retireeBoom DO seem to fill up fast! You are not alone - I too wait for a specific opportunity on a group wait list.
From what I have seen on this SF our relationships with our children, grandkids are so varied. We can all hope, but I think you will find, we all have had surprises in all of life, with things that tested and or threw twist or two in our idealistic expectations and we've had to adjust.
Probably a lot of food for thought.
Forgot to welcome you! Welcome, noolsg! I hope this SF group fits you well.
Do you feel oppressed by your husband and son? Is your husband physically able to leave the house? If so could you urge him to do so? Even just to go in the back yard? It would give yourself one less thing to contend with. Are there any groups or services that could mind your son for a few hours? It sounds like you are in serious need of some "me" time.
noolsg
New Member
One Organisation is definitely a lost cause. They have stopped replying to me. I intend to go to the other one, Active Retirement and ask again. They don’t have enough space where they meet to accommodate large numbers
noolsg
New Member
That’s a great reply thank you. I will happily tell my experience volunteering and what happened to me with you. I might tell you privately.
I think I felt alive and capable when I was working. I thought I had a good social circle but turns out, after and during the pandemic, that I have only one friend and we never speak deeply.
I lost my little bit of confidence after the volunteering fiasco. I still feel bitter over that.
I miss emotional support. I miss social connection. I have come to dislike myself.
my self esteem is at an all time low for a while now. I see my life turning into my parents life, devoid of any brightness, it’s all toil toil toil.
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noolsg
New Member
I don’t think I feel oppressed by my husband but I do let myself be held back by him. He can leave the house and is a keen gardener but he can’t drive or walk far. My son is in a care home and has a very good service but I keep worrying and I feel I have to enhance his life by taking him out and taking him home. He is 38 and has severe autism and mental handicap. He functions cognitively at 18 months. I don’t know what to do with me time
noolsg
New Member
I volunteered in a charity shop. I replaced a woman who moved across country to a house she inherited. But she started to come back every couple of weeks. When I met her she told me she lost a son in a road traffic accident. I thought it was recent but not so, however she always talked about him and shared memories. I felt so sorry for her. I use to ask her about her son I worked from 9.30 until 1pm. They were her hours before she left. Then she started coming in at 11. She actually didn’t bother working just sat around making tea.
one day I went to work and the manager said this woman was not comfortable working with me and I was to change my day. She said I would not stop talking about her son. I tried to defend myself but the manager did not want to know.
I wrote to his boss who rang me and interrogated me about a conversation I had with her. I told him I won’t be questioned over a reported conversation. I tried to take it further but nobody was interested. I went to a soliciter but didnt feel strong enough to take them on. It’s a huge charity here in Ireland linked to the Catholic Church.
there was a third woman there with me on Thursday mornings and she tried to defend me but they didn’t want to know. I actually thought The woman with the dead son was my friend and so did the third person in the shop. She also told me that the manager was told to report if I ever came into the shop again. I did tell the managers boss that the third woman was there and could verify that particular conversation.
one day I went to work and the manager said this woman was not comfortable working with me and I was to change my day. She said I would not stop talking about her son. I tried to defend myself but the manager did not want to know.
I wrote to his boss who rang me and interrogated me about a conversation I had with her. I told him I won’t be questioned over a reported conversation. I tried to take it further but nobody was interested. I went to a soliciter but didnt feel strong enough to take them on. It’s a huge charity here in Ireland linked to the Catholic Church.
there was a third woman there with me on Thursday mornings and she tried to defend me but they didn’t want to know. I actually thought The woman with the dead son was my friend and so did the third person in the shop. She also told me that the manager was told to report if I ever came into the shop again. I did tell the managers boss that the third woman was there and could verify that particular conversation.
hearlady
Every Day is a New Day.
- Location
- N Carolina
I really enjoy YouTube. I'll admit it. So many things to see. It spurs me to try new things.
I do make sure I get outside everyday for at least ten minutes but usually more. The vitamin D helps with depression. Can you take your son out in the yard? Maybe you could ask your other son for help with that every week or so.
horseless carriage
Well-known Member
Reading your first post, I was reluctant to reply. How could I share with you our life, when you have so much on your plate? But I will try.
Our's is a happy marriage, always has been. There's a sharp word now and then, but it's soon forgotten, water under the bridge.
From the age of eight, when her aunt taught her how to sew and how to read a paper pattern, my wife has made her own clothes and many of mine too. Here you see an example of her skills:
She made her entire outfit as well as my shirt and trousers. The vintage appearance comes from our love of that era, we go to festivals of that ilk. For the best part of sixty years we have been dancers, as in Latin & Ballroom.
It's brought us into contact with many like minded others, that's why we were always going out, be it a dance, festival or some other event. By event I mean vintage. The UK has many heritage railway lines. Back in the 1960's a third of our rail network was closed. Many enthusiasts took on those closed branch lines. Given the love for the nostalgia for steam, those heritage railways often have a back to the 30's or wartime Britain type of events. Here you see Hercules photo-bombing us at such an event.
Similarly, those events attract cars of that period. We love to take our vintage MG along. Here you see our car and my lady in yet another outfit that she made for herself, at an event in Poole on England's south coast.
Much of our dancing and socialising has been curtailed. Last August my wife had heart surgery, her recovery will take a long time healing, but the lady has followed doctor's orders and is slowly recovering. By way of a treat I have bought tickets for a new year's eve gala.
We shall meet up with many of our friends, the night is more than just dancing. There's a big band 1940's style concert, there's a meal and there's that gathering of old friends.
Now you know what we do for fun, and why I felt reluctant to share.
noolsg
New Member
Thank you very much Pepper
Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
- Location
- Central NY
Fun & things to look forward to....
Twostep
Well-known Member
- Location
- Tiny town Oklahoma, OK
Thank you Aunt Bea. This puts it into a short answer.