Funny or embarrassing things said by kids you know

BlunderWoman

BlunderWoman

Senior Member
When my youngest daughter was little she walked in on me while I was taking a bath and noticed the 2 moles I had on my back. She said " Mamma you have pimples on your back." I told her " Those aren't pimples, they're moles. Please go back out and shut the door."
Later that day I'm at the cash register in a grocery store with a long line of people behind me. Same kid pipes up and loudly announces to the cashier "My mother has nipples on her back!" I didn't even try to explain that ..I just left with my shopping cart.

Once while on a trip my sister was talking to me about politics ( I forget what about)), but she said some country was selling arms to China. My niece in the back seat says " That is soooo gross!!! Whose arms are they selling?"

Another time I was telling one of my daughters " You're so sweet and pretty. I wish I was sweet and pretty like you." She sighed and answered " Yeah, but you're not." lol

Any kid stories?
 

oh..and recently I locked myself out of my car outside the doctors office. My son could have had me out in a jiffy because he knows how, but I couldn't reach him. I called a locksmith that advertized one price that was NO WHERE NEAR what he charged me. It only took him 2 seconds to open my car. He charged me over 200 dollars. I knew it was too much, but he had already unlocked it and my back was really hurting too bad as I had been standing 2 hours which is hard on me.
My son called me and I told him nevermind. Later that day my son came over and asked me what the guy charged me. He was furious. He called the guy up and said " Should I call you Daddy after what you did to my mom this morning?!" THAT embarrassed the heck out of me
 
Back in the late 70s we lived near a small shopping center outside of Portland Oregon. My 23 year old brother lived in a guest house behind us. He had a crush on a clerk at the grocery store but was too shy to ask her out. He went over pretty often and would go through her line hoping she'd say something to him and hoping he'd have the nerve to ask her out. One day when he was making another trip across the street my son who was probably 7 or 8 was going with him, so I took him aside and said "When "Uncle Keith goes to the check out, tell the clerk My uncle wants to ask you out on a date but he's too bashful too." So a few minutes later they were back and my brother was mad as a hornet! Apparently the clerk he had a crush on wasn't working that day so he was checked out by an elderly lady. :) :) And yes, my son told her my brother liked her and wanted to go on a date with her. :)
 

Though I had cleaned it well, I was concerned that my recliner smelled of urine because my cat had peed on it. Talking to my 5yr old granddaughter, I said, "But your Daddy sat there, and he said he couldn't smell anything on it." She reasoned, "That's because Daddy has a huge butt."
 
My teenage stepgrandson said his 5 year old sister who is a bit wild is the poster child for birth control.

While visiting hubby's 3 year old grandson we were discussing packing arrangements for Thailand which included an inflatable kayak. I told my husband he'd have to fit his clothes in the suitcase with the boat as he wasn't putting his clothes in my suitcase. Grandson said 'aye, the hell with that!'.
 
When one of my grandsons, now 12, was five, he looked at me speculatively. "Granny, I suppose when a person gets really old they are glad to die because they get so tired?" I said that might be a possibility. "Granny, you are going to be 60 next year, and you get tired!":D:D:D
 
As a child I would call people an f-ing basket which brought howls of laughter, but no one corrected me...
 
When my son was 2 his father and I fought a lot. My son was sitting in front of the tv watching Sesame Street. He was sitting too close to it and I kept telling him to back up. After about 3 times he turned around and (imitating his father) said 'bitch, bitch, bitch'.
 
My wife used to work in an infants' school. She related the following conversation between two young boys...

How many bedrooms does your house have?
Three.
We've only got two. I wish we had three and then mum's boyfriend wouldn't have to share hers.:)
 
Please keep sharing I'm really enjoying these :) I love the honesty of children :)

Okay here's two more I remembered this morning...

My father never could abide cursing and foul language. We were all sitting for Thanksgiving dinner and my 4 year old niece said " Can I have some more' F..ing ' pie please? My dad instantly shot such a face melting glare at my sister who said " She can't say pumpkin! She can't say pumpkin!" hahaha

When I was pregnant that same niece looked and me and asked " Aunt Sharon how are you gonna get that baby out? Are you going to throw it up or are you just going to explode?"
 
One of my sisters who was at primary school (4-11) in the 50s, amused her teacher, but my Mother nearly died of embarrassment! She was asked to write a piece about her family, which she did.

" My Mummy and Daddy sleep in the same bed. My Daddy wears my Mummy's stockings, and my Mummy wears my Daddy's pyjamas! I sleep with my sister 'H' in one bedroom and my sisters 'R' and 'J' sleep in the other one. Tarzan (German Shepherd dog) sleeps in the shed and Grandma sleeps in the attic!:D

My Mother felt she had to explain to the teacher about the cross dressing and Grandma. There was no electricity upstairs in those days, and once my father couldn't see where his bed socks had gone, so borrowed Mum's stockings. On another occasion Mum couldn't find her nightie so grabbed a pair of Dad's PJs! Grandma's bedroom was very pleasant indeed, and converted from one of the two attics in our home.

Mum reckoned it should have been illegal for kids to have to write about their families!:D
 
There was a fruit juice drink on the market several years ago that I loved. It had no alcohol content but came in a four or six pack just like the wine coolers use to. I loved the black current. I drank a bottle each evening. Years later, I was talking about beverages to my daughters girlfriends Mother with whom I remained friends . . I commented on the black current juice and how I drank a bottle each evening. She told me that at that time, my daughter told her, I drank a bottle of wine every night before I went to bed. Thank goodness that subject came up or she never would have known.
 
A family I know grows a vegetable garden in the summer. One year they were in their garden hoeing their vegetables. They had a little girl around 5 or 6 at the time that wanted to help them hoe. They give her a hoe and let her help. This little girl was so proud of herself, she blurts out "I'm a good hoer"!!! Obviously she was told not to say that again.
 
Remember Art Linkletter's "Kids Say the Darndest Things"? He once said that he liked to ask, "What did your mother tell you not to say today?" That was always good for "the darndest things".

My grandmother used to tell a story about my dad: When they got municipal water (replacing the old hand pump) and a sewer line run to the house and converted a large closet into a bathroom, my dad announced at church one day that "they put the potty in the closet and the shitty ("city"....he had a lisp) water in the kitchen."
 
Pardon me I only know Italian from hearing it so much over the years. My husband had a story that when he and his sister were kids his sister wanted to be a cheerleader. She had a baton to twirl. My husband was little and he said he wanted one too. His grandmother almost fell over...not because she thought he was gender bending but because it came out as a nasty word in her native tongue.
 
My oldest daughter loved helping me with everything, she was a born homemaker and little mommy starting at an early age, and she just loved helping with laundry.

We'd put the laundry into the washing machine together, start the wash cycle, transfer the washing into a laundry basket when done, then take the basket outside and hang the washing on the line.

While pinning my panties on the line one day, dear daughter said, "they look like balloons mommy", and so the name was born for my grannies... "balloon pants".

Nothing like a young child boosting a mothers spirits, especially when you learn that your panties resemble balloons. LOL!
 

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