Getting Old and Unhappy

I'm kind of in the same boat.
I'm 65 but I don't feel like it.
I feel like I'm 40, but I know I have more years behind me than in front of me, and it gets me down if I let it.
I own 5 houses, but I don't feel like I have a home if that makes any sense.
What I tell myself is that happiness is not in the future or the past, you have to look for it in the present.
When I get up in the morning, I try to take a minute and be happy I woke up in my own bed and I tell myself "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24)
It's still a struggle sometimes, but I'm the only one who can make me happy.
 
@DebraHartman
Find your element.
When you think about happy things, things you dream of doing: what are they?

Example: I have two elements.
My best "element" is being outdoors with animals and space to roam. It is where my mind relaxes and I feel content.
My second best "element" is (was) teaching university pre-medical courses to students, but that is no longer an option for me due to a disability.
 
Cornhusker said:
I'm kind of in the same boat.
I'm 65 but I don't feel like it.
I feel like I'm 40, but I know I have more years behind me than in front of me, and it gets me down if I let it.
I own 5 houses, but I don't feel like I have a home if that makes any sense.
What I tell myself is that happiness is not in the future or the past, you have to look for it in the present.
When I get up in the morning, I try to take a minute and be happy I woke up in my own bed and I tell myself "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24)
It's still a struggle sometimes, but I'm the only one who can make me happy.
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I just knew there would be a bible quote in there somewhere. Predictable. JIM.
 
bobcat said:
The problem, as I see it, is your understanding of happiness.
It isn't a level or state of being that one achieves.
It is joyful moments strung together in a rather continuous thread that one decides to focus on (The sun shining on your face, a warm cup of coffee in the morning, a walk or ride in nature, listening to your favorite music, etc...)

I am reminded of a quote I heard years ago that goes like this: "If you are not happy with what you have, then you won't be happy with what you want".

We often think the grass is greener some other place instead of watering the grass where we are. Take time every day to focus on moments of joy going on around you, and even create them. If you change your perspective, you can change your reality.
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Thatā€™s a great post. šŸ‘
 
mrstime said:
I'm 85 and the grim reaper looks pretty good to me!
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I'm 88 & have wondered if the 'grim reaper' is peaking at me from "close" by. However, even if it is, I have to many living life things occupying my mind to peak back.
 
Spend less time on social media sites and more time with real flesh and blood people. Do some good deeds for others with no expectation of any form of reward. Stop complaining about growing old. It beats the heck out of the alternative. Nobody cares anyway. Volunteer someplace doing something you can enjoy.
 
Iā€™m 88 and donā€™t know what that age is supposed to ā€œfeelā€ like. As someone once said, ā€œIā€™m not afraid of dying, I just donā€™t want to be there when it happensā€. Lol A house doesnā€™t make a home, itā€™s the family living inside that does. Or, in my case, living alone and being physically and mentally and emotionally able to take care of my needs in my apt. makes my apt my Homeā€”that & the fact my children once lived here too.

Upon awakening in the morning, I donā€™t rejoice (Psalm 118:24). Well, part of me does. And I donā€™t deliberately try to make myself happy, it wouldnā€™t work. (Salvation from our Lord gives me TRUE happiness). I just find there is humor to be found even in unpleasant (not tragic) situations people experience daily and my resulting laughter makes me happy.
 
Having hobbies can be a great help for some people, but there are some whose favorite activity is socially interacting with other people--and we did spend millions of years evolving that way after all--so hobbies alone are not always the answer. So it really helps to live in an area where regular social activity can occur. (The reason I wish I could move.)
 
My questions after reading your post are:
~Do you have any relationships in your life? Friends, spouse or S.O., relatives who love you?

You say you have everything you need, but obviously something is missing but...
~Have you analyzed your situation to figure out what it is?

~Is the sheer fact of getting older, in and of itself, the reason you feel unhappy? Remember getting old is a privilege. And what's the alternative!

~Is there any activity or hobby or even place that brings you joy and/or gives a sense of satisfaction and peace?

I came across this article today and thought about your post. Perhaps this will help you to initiate behaviors that will bring happiness into your life.
People who stay busy and happy in their 70s and beyond usually adopt these daily habits

And
Welcome Rainbow.jpg
 
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OneEyedDiva said:
~Is the sheer fact of getting older, in and of itself, the reason you feel unhappy? Remember getting old is a privilege. And what's the alternative!
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I agree! Hitting 70 is a huge blessing. When I think back to all the friends and relatives I lost in their 50ā€™s and 60ā€™s, hitting the 70 mark looks pretty good. I donā€™t know what the future holds for certain, but the odds of my seeing my grandkids graduate high school seem good. College, ainā€™t looking bad either. Marriage is a maybe. And great grand children, well then I will know I am abundantly blessed with old age.
 
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DebraHartman said:
I am 72 years old, in good health, but having difficulty dealing with getting old. I have everything I need in life but I am not happy. What is wrong with me?
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One thing to do for sure is to see your doctor and find out if there is a physical reason for your melancholy. If something is out of balance, it can affect our feelings, energy level, etc. We are physical beings and body chemistry is complicated to say the least. Check for some physical issue that may be affecting how your feel.
 
Brookswood said:
I agree! Hitting 70 is a huge blessing. When I think back to all the friends and relatives I lost in their 50ā€™s and 60ā€™s, hitting the 70 mark looks pretty good. I donā€™t know what the future holds for certain, but the odds of my seeing my grandkids graduate high school seem good. College, ainā€™t looking bad either. Marriage is a maybe. And great grand children, well then I will know I am abundantly blessed with old age.
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I hear that Brookswood. Good for you! I feel particularly blessed to be almost 78. Three years ago I marked the occasion of living three times longer than my birthmother. She died of kidney disease at the age of 25. Having suffered with a heart condition (corrected in 2016) since I was 28, which made me literally feel like I would die sometimes, I never thought I'd live this long. Like you, I have grandchildren (5) to enjoy. plus an honorary grand, but it looks like they won't be giving me any great grands. My granddaughter is in college now, my oldest grand finished years ago. The other three chose not to go.

I'm embracing getting older and I really think one's attitude towards aging is one of the factors that helps make the difference between aging well and not. Of course, having good health rather than suffering with poor health is also a factor...but I know people who are not in the best of health and they still maintain positive attitudes.
 
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