Grandparents raising Grandchildren

Don M.

Don M.

SF VIP
Location
central Missouri
Yesterday's "60 Minutes" did a piece on the increasing number of Grandparents who have had to assume the responsibility for raising their Grandchildren...because the parents of those children have succumbed to drug and alcohol, etc., addiction....and totally neglecting their children. This report said that over 1,000,000 children are presently being raised by their Grandparents...and that number is growing.

This puts quite a burden on the Grandparents, financially, as raising children can be quite expensive....food, clothing, education, health care, etc. If those Grandparents are still employed, it lessens their chances for being able to save for their retirement....IRA's, etc. If they are already retired, raising these kids pretty much destroys their "independence", and ability to do things like traveling, etc.

This is just another example of how the increasing "opioid" addiction problems are creating "side effects" far beyond just the Idiots who chose to engage in this activity.
 
Wife and I are sure glad we wouldn't have to do that, but then again, we don't have any grandkids. For a number of grandparents, taking care of grandkids don't bother them at all, because: they don't really have much of "a life" or don't have the finances to have a nice retirement or they have the finances to raise the grandkids and it doesn't bother them to use those finances for that.
 
I saw that segment on TV, last night. The gf and I discussed it. As it stands, my child-rearing days are behind me. My daughter knows that I am not available for babysitting service. I enjoy seeing my two, young granddaughters, every so often, but that's that. That being said, if anything ever happened to my daughter and sil to the point where my granddaughters faced being put in foster homes, I would step up to the plate, but be very sad to do so, for more reasons than one. My step-daughter is very maternal, and great with the kids, so I have a feeling she'd probably be the one to take custody, and that would be fine, with me. On that TV segment, last night, I got the feeling that some of the grandparents, who were interviewed, were happy to be raising kids, again. I would not be in that group.
 
Saw that last night, and I know of some folks going though it....Sad....glad I dodged that bullet on all levels !
 
My goodness, how well I know about this.
I helped raise my grand daughters, already. (they live 2 hrs away). We were there at the hospital when each was born, and we have been there for all major events.

We did not have any addiction problems, thank God, but there were other problems, marital-wise. So our daughter was a single mom for the first 6 years after they were born. So we were there for it all - court appearances, custody hearings, etc. Our home is practically their home, and we are very pleased with that.
 
This is a BIG pet-peeve of mine!!
I ABHORE the idea of grandparents raising grandkids!
They failed as parents, proven by the fact that their kids aren't raising the kids they had.
And now they're probably going to fail similarly with the grandkids.
And there will be no one to raise the kids the grandkids have!!!
 
HipGnosis said:
This is a BIG pet-peeve of mine!!
I ABHORE the idea of grandparents raising grandkids!
They failed as parents, proven by the fact that their kids aren't raising the kids they had.
And now they're probably going to fail similarly with the grandkids.
And there will be no one to raise the kids the grandkids have!!!
Click to expand...

If it doesn't pertain to you, why do you care?
 
I saw the segment also and know some cases like that in my family. They step up and do it and I admire them. If it happened to me I would do the same as I would not want mine in the system.
 
I haven't seen the 60 Minutes segment, but like Terry I've known several sets of grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. None particularly wanted to relive early morning soccer practices, nightly homework checking or sassy pre-pubescent remarks, but when it became apparent that their kids couldn't care for their own children, the GPs sucked it up and made a loving home for their grands.

People talk about the sacrifices we will make for our families (I'd throw myself in front of a bus to save my kid, etc.), but most are fortunate enough to never have to live up to our words in any meaningful way. These folks are called to do so and step up to the plate. Kudos to them.
 
I have a dear friend who has been raising her granddaughter since said granddaughter, who is now 16?17?, was 3. Mother of the granddaughter is mentally unstable, father (who was married to the mother) is long gone. So my friend did the right thing. My friend's husband fully supports this effort with time and money.

I applaud them for their efforts. It is a task that not everyone can handle.
 
We have met people traveling that are doing that and it is tough to be older raising kids. My kids decided not to have kids so no issues there. I would not want to do it and don't know what I would do if faced with the decision. Adult make their own decisions and parents are not responsible if their kids turn out to be bad parents or drug addicted. If a person has a serious mental illness it is no one's fault. Hip, wow super unkind to make such a sweeping statement.
 
Wow!!! I have 4 grandchildren....Whenever my kids needed me, I was there....My kids didn't fail as parents....They are respectable parents and if I had to take care of them it was for a good cause....My 2 grandkids are grown now and
my other 2 grandkids are in their teens....I find your post very sad....Sorry that I have to say that....
I have a friend that took her grandchild because the Mom was not able to take care of her baby...The Mom now is married with a little one....My friend had her grandchild for 18 years....She is now graduating High School....
It's her choice if she wants to go to her Mom.... .
 
Don M. said:
Yesterday's "60 Minutes" did a piece on the increasing number of Grandparents who have had to assume the responsibility for raising their Grandchildren...because the parents of those children have succumbed to drug and alcohol, etc., addiction....and totally neglecting their children. This report said that over 1,000,000 children are presently being raised by their Grandparents...and that number is growing.

.
Click to expand...

Put us down for two of those

no regrets

here's one now
hjW1lGV.jpg



entered the armed services yesterday

I'd like to kick his mother's hind end...but she's doing a good job of that all by herself
 
Blaming the grandparents when their children cannot raise their kids is misguided. There are several reasons why parents no longer raise their kids and none of them have to do with the mistakes of the grandparents. Most children are born with four grandparents and all it takes is one of the four to step up if called upon to help raise them.

Luckily our society has installed safety nets for whenever the family structure fails to work. These can assist grandparents if necessary. I hope to see my grandson graduate from high school one day, and as a young man go off on his own into the world.
 
I don't think grandparents should have to be saddled with that responsibility after working hard, probably saving for and looking forward to retirement. Even worse, those who still have to work now having this extra responsibility which can be tiring. But I don't think I know any grandparent who would let their grandchild be in the care of a relative they don't know much about or be subjected to foster care. Recently, a mother who had been missing for 6 months and believed to have been abducted just outside her home was finally found dead in her car. During that time her father was taking care of her 4 year old son. I don't know who will wind up getting permanent custody. So it's not just drugs...sometimes the parent(s) have died.

You make excellent points about how this affects the retirement finances. It's a shame that so many grandparents who thought their child rearing days were over are now having to "start over" in a sense. But if I had to do it...at age 71, though my son's youngest are now teens...I believe I could and would.
 
treeguy64 said:
I saw that segment on TV, last night. The gf and I discussed it. As it stands, my child-rearing days are behind me. My daughter knows that I am not available for babysitting service. I enjoy seeing my two, young granddaughters, every so often, but that's that. That being said, if anything ever happened to my daughter and sil to the point where my granddaughters faced being put in foster homes, I would step up to the plate, but be very sad to do so, for more reasons than one. My step-daughter is very maternal, and great with the kids, so I have a feeling she'd probably be the one to take custody, and that would be fine, with me. On that TV segment, last night, I got the feeling that some of the grandparents, who were interviewed, were happy to be raising kids, again. I would not be in that group.
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Treeguy...you sent me a ridiculous message at the beginning of the year asking why do I post in such a tiny font, saying I guess I think it's cool. Yes...I saved the message. Where that came from I don't even know and why you singled me out I have no idea because because during that time, I was using larger font and some others here were not . So if you had such an issue with me using the default font (any time before that), why are YOU now using it? And if you did it as a joke...I did not find it funny!
 
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