Great article in the WSJ - 7 Secrets to Finding Love After 60

"For ages 65 and older, women are more likely to be single than men."

I think the reason for this is because men die earlier than women, generally. There are more widows than widowers.

I do not subscribe to WSJ so they block their articles to me. But, I am glad you added the stat's., here. I am 75. The stat's reveal that most men and women aren't looking at this age. I won't be frustrating myself by looking too hard. I always liked being a bachelor. I guess at this age there's nothing wrong with being a bachelor, either. Thanks for the info.
 
Not the whole article but here are some highlights from the article:

1. Expect baggage​

No one enjoys dating someone who endlessly eulogizes, or denigrates, a former spouse. But older singles have long histories that have shaped them and need to be understood for a late love relationship to thrive. That’s threatening to some people who feel competitive with a partner’s past loves.

Richard Goldsmith, a widower and retired lawyer from West Orange, N.J., dated one woman who refused to come to his home because he had shared it for many years with his wife. He had a different experience with Tina Greenberg, a widow and retired communications professional he met through a friend three years ago. They shared memories of their spouses and decadeslong marriages but didn’t get mired in the past.

Last year, when Greenberg, 75, moved in with Goldsmith, 81, they blended furnishings and belongings. “I added a picture to two that were already in the dining room, and I can feel Barbara’s spirit in this house—and I like that,” says Greenberg of Goldsmith’s now-deceased wife. And talking frankly about their late spouses has helped them shape what they want together. “I wanted more independence than I used to have and not always doing everything together,” says Goldsmith.

2. Get comfortable with online dating​

It’s true: It isn’t how people met 20 years ago, let alone 40. Back then, they met dates through friends, or at church, parties, school and work. Because of that, some older singles find searching for dates online impersonal, or exhausting because of the many choices. It can also be technologically challenging.

But the fact is that meeting online has surpassed all other ways to find romantic partners, and may be especially useful for retired seniors with diminished social circles.

Nan Bauer-Maglin, a retired English professor at the City University of New York and a writer and editor, sought advice from friends when she went online after she was widowed seven years ago. Although she didn’t listen to one friend who told her to dye her gray hair before posting a photo, she followed another’s counsel to date at least seven men before getting discouraged, and to only meet those who had at least a 90% match with her profile. It took her several months and nine tries before she met Daniel Hood, a retired sociology professor. They’re now romantic partners and work colleagues who’ve coedited “Gray Love,” a book of essays about dating after 60.

3. Be open to nontraditional relationships​

Cohabitation rates among couples over 50 more than quadrupled from 2000 to 2020, while marriage rates in that age group are steady, says Bowling Green’s Brown. “Older couples are innovators, leading the changes occurring in American families,” she says.

Others are forming “living apart together” or LAT relationships. Bauer-Maglin and Hood are LATs who’ve kept their separate apartments in New York City and regularly see one another twice a week. For both, it’s a way to keep their romance fresh and free of conflict and remain in homes they’re attached to.

“I’m very tidy and he’s messy and this way we don’t fight about that little stuff,” Bauer-Maglin says. “We keep the time we spend together special.”

4. Make sure you’re on the same page about your children​

Adult children may be living on their own but they’re rarely out of mind, and can pose conflicts. Many adult children worry that their aging mother or father will be mistreated by a romantic partner, or that the inheritance they expect to get will be depleted. Older couples themselves often differ about parenting and grandparenting styles, how much time they want to spend with one another’s children and whether they want to try to blend their families, especially on holidays or vacations.

Stefanie Weiss, now 65, had just rented an apartment in Silver Spring, Md., with her new boyfriend when her son and his girlfriend moved in for a year after graduating from college. Their two bedrooms were separated by just a wall. Could they all get along together? she wondered.
For Frank Gallagher, now her husband, the answer was yes. Now 68, he had been single for years and had no children “but I knew Stefanie came as a package with her son,” he says. The eldest of seven brothers, he knew how to get along in a crowded home, but he also got to know his young roommates. And before marrying Stefanie in 2017, he asked her son’s permission.

“I wanted him to be OK with our marriage, and to know that, even though I’m not his dad,” Gallagher says. “I want to offer him unconditional support.”

5. Plan how you want to deal with finances​

Older couples often decide to keep their finances separate—and not get married—because they want their children and grandchildren to inherit their estates. Others simply want autonomy, especially if they have struggled to build wealth after a divorce. If they’re living together, though, they need to plan how they want to handle living expenses. If one person has significantly more wealth, will he or she pay for travel, for instance, or redecorating a home?

Expectations about finances are bound to change over time and should be regularly reviewed. Couples who’ve been together for years may expect to be included in partners’ wills—and may need whatever inheritance they receive to support themselves in old age.

Financial disputes also may arise if couples split up. Boston psychiatrist Olds consulted with one woman who’d left a job and moved cross-country to be with her partner, but several years later split up with him. “She felt she sacrificed so much financially to be together and wanted a settlement,” says Olds.

6. Be honest about health issues and caregiving​

Aging invariably leads to frailty and illnesses, which raises the question of how much caregiving you’re willing to provide. Those with “living apart together” arrangements usually expect their partners’ adult children to be the primary caregivers. Others want to be one another’s caregivers. Consider Hultin and Davis, the couple in Massachusetts and Vermont. Hultin has Parkinson’s disease and Davis has non-Hodgkin lymphoma. They have vowed to provide care to one another and for now don’t want to let their illnesses limit travel plans they have.

7. Be open to the unexpected​

When you’re young, you expect to fall in love, marry and start a family. By the time you have wrinkles and gray hair, you may think you’re too old to attract or find anyone. Older singles who thought they’d be aging alone say the discovery that they can feel passionate again came as a surprise. But their willingness to be surprised enabled them to fall in love.

In Silver Spring, Md., Weiss says she likely would have overlooked Gallagher in her 20s because “he’s not the dashing bad boy” type she used to find appealing.

Similarly, Stacey Parkins Millett, 68, a writer and retired manager at nonprofits, says she might not have recognized her strong fit with Kurt Ross, 71, when she was younger. During her marriage and for more than a decade after she divorced and dated sporadically, she says she “fell into a pattern of being the consummate fixer,” and often ignored her own needs. After a lot of self reflection and with the help of a dating coach, she decided she would be better off alone than with someone “not quite right.”

Millett defined her “must haves, won’t haves and deal breakers,” posted her profile online—and 10 months later met Ross, a ceramic artist and retired architect. They talked nonstop for hours on their first date, soon started living together in homes in New York and Candler, N.C., and married last year.
“The fundamentals of passion and friendship—and teamwork and independence—favor us,” says Millett, a marathon runner. “I need alone time to run, he needs alone time to read. We support one another’s creative pursuits and agree calls from our adult children take precedence over everything. My journey here took 50 years—but the beauty of time has been unearthing who and what I’ve wanted.”
 

Sippican said:
Not the whole article but here are some highlights from the article:

1. Expect baggage​

No one enjoys dating someone who endlessly eulogizes, or denigrates, a former spouse. But older singles have long histories that have shaped them and need to be understood for a late love relationship to thrive. That’s threatening to some people who feel competitive with a partner’s past loves.

Richard Goldsmith, a widower and retired lawyer from West Orange, N.J., dated one woman who refused to come to his home because he had shared it for many years with his wife. He had a different experience with Tina Greenberg, a widow and retired communications professional he met through a friend three years ago. They shared memories of their spouses and decadeslong marriages but didn’t get mired in the past.

Last year, when Greenberg, 75, moved in with Goldsmith, 81, they blended furnishings and belongings. “I added a picture to two that were already in the dining room, and I can feel Barbara’s spirit in this house—and I like that,” says Greenberg of Goldsmith’s now-deceased wife. And talking frankly about their late spouses has helped them shape what they want together. “I wanted more independence than I used to have and not always doing everything together,” says Goldsmith.

2. Get comfortable with online dating​

It’s true: It isn’t how people met 20 years ago, let alone 40. Back then, they met dates through friends, or at church, parties, school and work. Because of that, some older singles find searching for dates online impersonal, or exhausting because of the many choices. It can also be technologically challenging.

But the fact is that meeting online has surpassed all other ways to find romantic partners, and may be especially useful for retired seniors with diminished social circles.

Nan Bauer-Maglin, a retired English professor at the City University of New York and a writer and editor, sought advice from friends when she went online after she was widowed seven years ago. Although she didn’t listen to one friend who told her to dye her gray hair before posting a photo, she followed another’s counsel to date at least seven men before getting discouraged, and to only meet those who had at least a 90% match with her profile. It took her several months and nine tries before she met Daniel Hood, a retired sociology professor. They’re now romantic partners and work colleagues who’ve coedited “Gray Love,” a book of essays about dating after 60.

3. Be open to nontraditional relationships​

Cohabitation rates among couples over 50 more than quadrupled from 2000 to 2020, while marriage rates in that age group are steady, says Bowling Green’s Brown. “Older couples are innovators, leading the changes occurring in American families,” she says.

Others are forming “living apart together” or LAT relationships. Bauer-Maglin and Hood are LATs who’ve kept their separate apartments in New York City and regularly see one another twice a week. For both, it’s a way to keep their romance fresh and free of conflict and remain in homes they’re attached to.

“I’m very tidy and he’s messy and this way we don’t fight about that little stuff,” Bauer-Maglin says. “We keep the time we spend together special.”

4. Make sure you’re on the same page about your children​

Adult children may be living on their own but they’re rarely out of mind, and can pose conflicts. Many adult children worry that their aging mother or father will be mistreated by a romantic partner, or that the inheritance they expect to get will be depleted. Older couples themselves often differ about parenting and grandparenting styles, how much time they want to spend with one another’s children and whether they want to try to blend their families, especially on holidays or vacations.

Stefanie Weiss, now 65, had just rented an apartment in Silver Spring, Md., with her new boyfriend when her son and his girlfriend moved in for a year after graduating from college. Their two bedrooms were separated by just a wall. Could they all get along together? she wondered.
For Frank Gallagher, now her husband, the answer was yes. Now 68, he had been single for years and had no children “but I knew Stefanie came as a package with her son,” he says. The eldest of seven brothers, he knew how to get along in a crowded home, but he also got to know his young roommates. And before marrying Stefanie in 2017, he asked her son’s permission.

“I wanted him to be OK with our marriage, and to know that, even though I’m not his dad,” Gallagher says. “I want to offer him unconditional support.”

5. Plan how you want to deal with finances​

Older couples often decide to keep their finances separate—and not get married—because they want their children and grandchildren to inherit their estates. Others simply want autonomy, especially if they have struggled to build wealth after a divorce. If they’re living together, though, they need to plan how they want to handle living expenses. If one person has significantly more wealth, will he or she pay for travel, for instance, or redecorating a home?

Expectations about finances are bound to change over time and should be regularly reviewed. Couples who’ve been together for years may expect to be included in partners’ wills—and may need whatever inheritance they receive to support themselves in old age.

Financial disputes also may arise if couples split up. Boston psychiatrist Olds consulted with one woman who’d left a job and moved cross-country to be with her partner, but several years later split up with him. “She felt she sacrificed so much financially to be together and wanted a settlement,” says Olds.

6. Be honest about health issues and caregiving​

Aging invariably leads to frailty and illnesses, which raises the question of how much caregiving you’re willing to provide. Those with “living apart together” arrangements usually expect their partners’ adult children to be the primary caregivers. Others want to be one another’s caregivers. Consider Hultin and Davis, the couple in Massachusetts and Vermont. Hultin has Parkinson’s disease and Davis has non-Hodgkin lymphoma. They have vowed to provide care to one another and for now don’t want to let their illnesses limit travel plans they have.

7. Be open to the unexpected​

When you’re young, you expect to fall in love, marry and start a family. By the time you have wrinkles and gray hair, you may think you’re too old to attract or find anyone. Older singles who thought they’d be aging alone say the discovery that they can feel passionate again came as a surprise. But their willingness to be surprised enabled them to fall in love.

In Silver Spring, Md., Weiss says she likely would have overlooked Gallagher in her 20s because “he’s not the dashing bad boy” type she used to find appealing.

Similarly, Stacey Parkins Millett, 68, a writer and retired manager at nonprofits, says she might not have recognized her strong fit with Kurt Ross, 71, when she was younger. During her marriage and for more than a decade after she divorced and dated sporadically, she says she “fell into a pattern of being the consummate fixer,” and often ignored her own needs. After a lot of self reflection and with the help of a dating coach, she decided she would be better off alone than with someone “not quite right.”

Millett defined her “must haves, won’t haves and deal breakers,” posted her profile online—and 10 months later met Ross, a ceramic artist and retired architect. They talked nonstop for hours on their first date, soon started living together in homes in New York and Candler, N.C., and married last year.
“The fundamentals of passion and friendship—and teamwork and independence—favor us,” says Millett, a marathon runner. “I need alone time to run, he needs alone time to read. We support one another’s creative pursuits and agree calls from our adult children take precedence over everything. My journey here took 50 years—but the beauty of time has been unearthing who and what I’ve wanted.”
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Excellent article! It's good to see other seniors finding love late in life. I also appreciated the statistics you provided.
 
I have a friend 10 years older than me doing online dating and it sounds awful to me. At 69 if I met someone compatible it would be great but I’m never living with someone again. I have spent most of my life married and I am sick of compromising and taking care of men.
 
Hilarious article. The women sound like self-aggrandized horror shows who feel completely comfortable using phrases like "retail therapy" with a straight face. Their guys sound like whipped schlubs living in Hell.

I guess we're talking Eastern Seaboard though, so par for the course. I'd love to see James Carville's rant after reading it though! :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
 
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