Guilt feelings..

L

Lolly

Member
Location
Chicago Area
Having recently retired, I sometimes ask myself this question... So now I will ask all of you.

Should I feel guilty if I no longer have the desire to be productive or do anything meaningful?
 

Definitely not. This is what we all work towards. Some people choose to continue working full or p/t. I was forced out of my job due to FAA regulations. So, I got a job with a taxi company. Actually, I flew corporate leased jets. I was able to choose my own schedule, which was exactly what I wanted. Now, I am fully retired. I do get bored on some days, so I try to find something to keep my hands and my mind occupied.

OTOH, others choose to 100% retire and sit back and relax, or travel, or maybe do something on the side. When we retire, we have a multitude of options. Being fully retired now means no calendar, no clock, no worries. I do what I want, when I want and if I want. But, whatever I decide, I do not feel guilty. I think leaving a job is giving a younger person an opportunity to move up or maybe just to be hired with the company that I have left.

Enjoy!!
 
Lolly, Depends on your age. If you're old enough to have grown up and done your "thing"

and you're not ashamed of it, then kick GUILT under the bus.
 

No guilt, no worries, and as for the desire for being productive or meaningful. That has changed to exploring new/old interests and doing those little jobs around the house.

Or.. Just 'thinking' about exploring a new/old interest or doing a little job around the house. :untroubled:

Yes, enjoy yourself.
 
I don't believe that you should feel guilty.

Your situation may be temporary and after you recover from years of working you may find a new calling or passion to devote your time to.

I have been retired for 12 years and still have no desire to be productive or do anything meaningful, I do write a few checks to help fund causes or individuals that I feel could use my help.
 
These are the kind of responses I was hoping for. I struggled a long time with the decision to retire... partly because I didn't have anything "lined up" to take the place of working.. But my husband diagnosed with cancer and had surgery in April (He's cancer free now) and I took a few weeks leave to care for him.. However, his illness and being home with him made me decide to make my leave permanent. I contacted my company and retired..... I have worked full time for 41 years.. I have been in a stressful profession most of those years.. I raised and educated my kids.. Bought my house and paid for it myself. Now I just feel done. I enjoy being home relaxing and spending time with my hubby and pets.

Despite that, there is a nagging voice that says to me.. "You should be doing something"... and I answer back. "But I don't want to"... there in lies the conflict.
 
Lolly said:
Having recently retired, I sometimes ask myself this question... So now I will ask all of you.

Should I feel guilty if I no longer have the desire to be productive or do anything meaningful?
Click to expand...

Hell No!
 
Lolly said:
Having recently retired, I sometimes ask myself this question... So now I will ask all of you.

Should I feel guilty if I no longer have the desire to be productive or do anything meaningful?
Click to expand...
Absoultely not!
.You've worked part of your life in a job,now its time to relax and enjoy your 'new life',set your own schedule without a time clock
It took me around 6-8 months to adjust not getting up at 5:45a 3 days/wk to get ready to walk to work. In my 1st yr,when people learned I was now retired,would ask me to join their organizations.I had a hard time saying 'NO' without hurting people's feelings. I continue to volunteer 2-3 mornings/wk at the 2 orgs I feel comfortable working at,the other days I have to myself. I have the time now to do things I like to do,take my 3 daily walks{weather permitting},read my books,go to the movies.
I keep a yearly journal of all the things I've done since retiring,maybe you should start one too.its always interesting to go back&read what I've written.I certainly don't know where the 6 yrs have gone,but I have no regrets. Sue
 
Lolly said:
These are the kind of responses I was hoping for. I struggled a long time with the decision to retire... partly because I didn't have anything "lined up" to take the place of working.. But my husband diagnosed with cancer and had surgery in April (He's cancer free now) and I took a few weeks leave to care for him.. However, his illness and being home with him made me decide to make my leave permanent. I contacted my company and retired..... I have worked full time for 41 years.. I have been in a stressful profession most of those years.. I raised and educated my kids.. Bought my house and paid for it myself. Now I just feel done. I enjoy being home relaxing and spending time with my hubby and pets.

Despite that, there is a nagging voice that says to me.. "You should be doing something"... and I answer back. "But I don't want to"... there in lies the conflict.
Click to expand...

I would say you already filled the "you should be doing something"..
 
Lolly... I am in deep disagreement with the above posters. You should feel guilty enough for not having a "purpose" that you dedicate your time coming to our home and cleaning, doing the laundry, etc. I'm sure my wife would appreciate the assistance since I don't have time to help around the home. My golf is far too important to help. After all, she spent the first 50 years of our marriage doing the housework, why shouldn't she be able to find some retiree who is feeling guilty to come take over!!!!! :):)

Enough of that!! :>) You MOST DEFINITELY have every right to your retirement and spending valuable time with your husband. You have worked hard and deserve every minute you can enjoy while retired! My only advice would be to not "recline and decline". Have a reason to get up in the morning. Maybe find something you can volunteer at a few hours/week. May times those opportunities allow you to socialize outside the family environment.

Whatever, from the Lolly I've seen on SF you will do well!!!! Keep looking forward to tomorrow. That's the main reason to set an alarm each night, having the faith the Good Lord will wake you tomorrow and allow you to enjoy yet another GREAT day!!
 
Retirement is the vacation you earned by working all those years. Go and play or volunteer where it will be rewarding for you. That has worked for me for 20 years.
 
Protestant work ethic

Lolly said:
Lolly wrote:

"These are the kind of responses I was hoping for. I struggled a long time with the decision to retire... partly because I didn't have anything "lined up" to take the place of working.. But my husband diagnosed with cancer and had surgery in April (He's cancer free now) and I took a few weeks leave to care for him.. However, his illness and being home with him made me decide to make my leave permanent. I contacted my company and retired..... I have worked full time for 41 years.. I have been in a stressful profession most of those years.. I raised and educated my kids.. Bought my house and paid for it myself. Now I just feel done. I enjoy being home relaxing and spending time with my hubby and pets.

Despite that, there is a nagging voice that says to me.. "You should be doing something"... and I answer back. "But I don't want to"... there in lies the conflict."
Click to expand...


According to the late Terry Wogan, the much loved Irsh radio broadcaster and talk show host, used to talk about the "Protestant work ethic".

I never really understood his meaning, but perhaps this way of thinking Terry Wogan was trying to describe is something you've had ingrained in you during your upbringing?

I totally agree with everyone else who has said you shouldn't feel guilty at all, but if you do still feel that way, perhaps "something" can be found to take that feeling away, such as a pastime or volunteer job maybe.
 
grahamg said:
According to the late Terry Wogan, the much loved Irsh radio broadcaster and talk show host, used to talk about the "Protestant work ethic".

I never really understood his meaning, but perhaps this way of thinking Terry Wogan was trying to describe is something you've had ingrained in you during your upbringing?

I totally agree with everyone else who has said you shouldn't feel guilty at all, but if you do still feel that way, perhaps "something" can be found to take that feeling away, such as a pastime or volunteer job maybe.
Click to expand...

You may be on to something.. my parents always made me feel bad if I wasn't doing something.. I also believe it will take some time to adjust to retirement and not having to be on the go and occupied constantly. Realizing that I am no longer responsible for the financial support of others and I can simply worry about myself is a new experience.
 
Lolly said:
These are the kind of responses I was hoping for. I struggled a long time with the decision to retire... partly because I didn't have anything "lined up" to take the place of working.. But my husband diagnosed with cancer and had surgery in April (He's cancer free now) and I took a few weeks leave to care for him.. However, his illness and being home with him made me decide to make my leave permanent. I contacted my company and retired..... I have worked full time for 41 years.. I have been in a stressful profession most of those years.. I raised and educated my kids.. Bought my house and paid for it myself. Now I just feel done. I enjoy being home relaxing and spending time with my hubby and pets.

Despite that, there is a nagging voice that says to me.. "You should be doing something"... and I answer back. "But I don't want to"... there in lies the conflict.
Click to expand...
Listen to the second voice.
Isn't that the advice you would give to others?

None of us knows how many days we have left. We should all live as if they are but few, and live them to the full, loving life and loving people. I think you made the right choice.
 
You just have stage fright. You have been the greatest actor ever! You have been getting gigs and landing starring roles, your whole life. You got the role of toddler down pat. So good, in fact, you landed the role of kid in First Grade. Each year you got better and better roles.Then you landed the gig of being a wife. You got rave reviews, so took on the role of working. But, come on, working isn't a role for someone with your star power. You landed the role of being retired, and with top billing. It's just another role. You have a little stage fright, that's all. Now, go kill 'em.
 
No way, don't even think about it, you deserve to relax and enjoy the home you've worked so hard for, maybe after a while you will feel like doing a few hours Voluntary work for a charity or find hobbies you didn't have time for previously

Very pleased to hear your husband is now cancer free and wish you many happy years enjoying your retirement together
 
Thanks to all of you.. I guess it does take time.. and eventually, I MAY find something I want to do.. but you all are right, I'm not going to force it, because anything that is forced in certainly not enjoyable. If something I simply love doing turns up, I will do it. If not, I'm happy doing what I'm doing now. Enjoying my time..
 
Lolly said:
These are the kind of responses I was hoping for. I struggled a long time with the decision to retire... partly because I didn't have anything "lined up" to take the place of working.. But my husband diagnosed with cancer and had surgery in April (He's cancer free now) and I took a few weeks leave to care for him.. However, his illness and being home with him made me decide to make my leave permanent. I contacted my company and retired..... I have worked full time for 41 years.. I have been in a stressful profession most of those years.. I raised and educated my kids.. Bought my house and paid for it myself. Now I just feel done. I enjoy being home relaxing and spending time with my hubby and pets.

Despite that, there is a nagging voice that says to me.. "You should be doing something"... and I answer back. "But I don't want to"... there in lies the conflict.
Click to expand...

Don't listen to that voice, you deserve to R & R and enjoy every minute of doing what you want to do, when you want to do it!
 
I 'retired' a couple of times. First time didn't take because I convinced myself that I was too young and healthy to be non-productive (I was in early 50's). Tried again and failed again for same reason. Third time a charm.

There are a lot of ways to be productive in retirement. Just because something doesn't produce an income, doesn't mean it is not productive and worth-while. Many active hobbies produce useful items, i.e. woodworking, needlework, gardening.

I've done family research - genealogy - for a long time, accumulating a lot of information about my ancestors. Many years ago and using a genealogy program, Family TreeMaker, I put together a 300 page book about my mother's family lines that made understanding our heritage a little easier especially to older members who were not computer savvy. The computer program allowed me to inexpensively publish a very professional style book.

A copy shop made and bound copies that I gifted to members of my extended family. An aunt's copy became very tattered from use and I tried to replace it but she refused. I had printed it leaving page backs empty and she had filled the space with her own thoughts and memories. She had made it her own which is exactly what I had hoped for. I still have a deep sense of accomplishment/satisfaction about that.

Find your passion and enjoy retirement. Your earned it.
 
when I first retired I cleaned everyday, because I felt like I had to be doing something.It took a few years not to feel that way.
 
I had no trouble adjusting to retirement. I was born to be a bum. And I'm damn good at it.
 

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