Have a feeling that I care more than my brother does.

G

GP44

Member
My brother has never initiated contact with me. He is the only living member of my original family.
Shortly before the Presidential election here in the states he got on Facebook and made nasty remarks about the candidate that I supported.
I snoozed him to start with and when that ran out he started making foul mouthed comments about everything political.
So I blocked him until about a week before the election and when I unblocked him he was still making foul mouthed comments.
I told him that those remarks weren’t necessary because he knew who I supported and I knew where he stood and that we had voted already anyway.
His reply was a bunch of stupid foul mouthed comments about my candidate.
By that time it didn’t matter what the comments were about I just didn’t need that kind of language on my social media for people to see.
I told him that it was uncalled for and that I would block him again and to stay the hell away from my social media.
I am thinking of him today because it is his birthday but after doing a lot of soul searching I realized that I am the only one who ever cared enough to try to make contact with him so I doubt if he really cares if he gets a birthday wish from me or not.
He knows how to contact me if he ever wants to otherwise he no longer exists.
 

Tish said:
Never allow politics to come between you and your family, it's not wise.
Maybe he rants and raves to get attention, who knows?
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He got plenty of attention before I finally blocked him for good.
Another relative said that he thinks that my brother might be having some kind of mental problem and he might be.
If he was then he can contact one of the family if he gets better.
 

I have a cousin who I have always loved, even though he has always been a difficult person to deal with because of his mental illness. Unfortunately, he has become so extreme in his politics and his hatred for certain types of people, I have had to block him.

When he posted on Facebook and in a message to our family group that everybody of my political persuasion should be "put to death", I asked if he included me. Crickets. So, I told him that in that case, we were no longer cousins and he was out of my life. I haven't heard from him since. Good.

His brother and sister are of the same political bent but, at least, we can be civil to each other about it and avoid unpleasantness by just not discussing it.
 
GP44 said:
My brother has never initiated contact with me. He is the only living member of my original family.
Shortly before the Presidential election here in the states he got on Facebook and made nasty remarks about the candidate that I supported.
I snoozed him to start with and when that ran out he started making foul mouthed comments about everything political.
So I blocked him until about a week before the election and when I unblocked him he was still making foul mouthed comments.
I told him that those remarks weren’t necessary because he knew who I supported and I knew where he stood and that we had voted already anyway.
His reply was a bunch of stupid foul mouthed comments about my candidate.
By that time it didn’t matter what the comments were about I just didn’t need that kind of language on my social media for people to see.
I told him that it was uncalled for and that I would block him again and to stay the hell away from my social media.
I am thinking of him today because it is his birthday but after doing a lot of soul searching I realized that I am the only one who ever cared enough to try to make contact with him so I doubt if he really cares if he gets a birthday wish from me or not.
He knows how to contact me if he ever wants to otherwise he no longer exists.
Click to expand...
do not allow toxic people into your life... it's poison for your soul and your mental wellbeing... You say when you take him off ignore then he's ranting at you,..well keep him on ignore... he clearly doesn't like you, keep him out of your life...
 
I am a dyed in the wool Democrat, and have never voted for a Republican. My brother is one of them. But he's still my brother. We do know that on election night, one of us will get a call from the other. It's always amazed me that out of the same home, I'm a such a staunch Democrat, and he's a such a staunch Republican. I figure it's because he was dropped on his head, when he was a baby. But, he's my brother. And, it's just politics.
 
GP44 said:
My brother has never initiated contact with me. He is the only living member of my original family.
Shortly before the Presidential election here in the states he got on Facebook and made nasty remarks about the candidate that I supported.
I snoozed him to start with and when that ran out he started making foul mouthed comments about everything political.
So I blocked him until about a week before the election and when I unblocked him he was still making foul mouthed comments.
I told him that those remarks weren’t necessary because he knew who I supported and I knew where he stood and that we had voted already anyway.
His reply was a bunch of stupid foul mouthed comments about my candidate.
By that time it didn’t matter what the comments were about I just didn’t need that kind of language on my social media for people to see.
I told him that it was uncalled for and that I would block him again and to stay the hell away from my social media.
I am thinking of him today because it is his birthday but after doing a lot of soul searching I realized that I am the only one who ever cared enough to try to make contact with him so I doubt if he really cares if he gets a birthday wish from me or not.
He knows how to contact me if he ever wants to otherwise he no longer exists.
Click to expand...
Dealing with feelings for an estranged relative is tough. I have an estranged adopted daughter that doesn't make any effort in our "relationship". I just have to basically write her off, for some measure of emotional peace. But that still doesn't settle the unsettled family bond that's broken.
My only remaining blood relatives(brother, son) are on the same page politically as I, for that I'm grateful.
 
GP44 said:
My brother has never initiated contact with me. He is the only living member of my original family.
Shortly before the Presidential election here in the states he got on Facebook and made nasty remarks about the candidate that I supported.
I snoozed him to start with and when that ran out he started making foul mouthed comments about everything political.
So I blocked him until about a week before the election and when I unblocked him he was still making foul mouthed comments.
I told him that those remarks weren’t necessary because he knew who I supported and I knew where he stood and that we had voted already anyway.
His reply was a bunch of stupid foul mouthed comments about my candidate.
By that time it didn’t matter what the comments were about I just didn’t need that kind of language on my social media for people to see.
I told him that it was uncalled for and that I would block him again and to stay the hell away from my social media.
I am thinking of him today because it is his birthday but after doing a lot of soul searching I realized that I am the only one who ever cared enough to try to make contact with him so I doubt if he really cares if he gets a birthday wish from me or not.
He knows how to contact me if he ever wants to otherwise he no longer exists.
Click to expand...

Having had one hell of a week with my brother, to the point we are basically an inch from throwing fists at each other, I think you know my answer. I'm happy for families that are Hollywood perfect, but I'd have no idea what that's like. My brother is a vile creature, a bully, foul mouthed, ignorant, and sad. There, I said it.
 
Nathan said:
Dealing with feelings for an estranged relative is tough. I have an estranged adopted daughter that doesn't make any effort in our "relationship". I just have to basically write her off, for some measure of emotional peace. But that still doesn't settle the unsettled family bond that's broken.
My only remaining blood relatives(brother, son) are on the same page politically as I, for that I'm grateful.
Click to expand...
Leave the channel for communication open. A short note is not a lot of skin off your nose. Life tends to throw wrenches. Do not burn bridges.
 
It's a shame you let politics and your brother's rants get between you, but sounds like you don't mind it too awfully much.

Because I know what my oldest son's wife's political opinions are, I don't talk to her about mine. She would not like them. I love her very much because she adores my son, he's very happy with her, and she's given me 2 awesome grandsons.

I don't care how she leans politically, I would never do anything to spoil my relationship with her.
 
I agree with Aunt Bea - send him a birthday message - via text or such outside of social media if you want to keep him blocked on your social media

Americans seem so divided politically - most people here in Aus don't have such strong feelings about people who vote differently and we dont wear our political hearts o n our sleeves for others to even know how we vote.
 
Twostep said:
Leave the channel for communication open. A short note is not a lot of skin off your nose. Life tends to throw wrenches. Do not burn bridges.
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Yes, channels open, bridges left un-burnt. I wish her happy birthday on FB, and "Like" some of her postings. She doesn't acknowledge or reach out in any way, maybe that's just kids(she'll be 50 in May) these days. shrug.gif
 
I don’t care what his political views are and I tried to tell him that there was no reason for him to get nasty and foul mouthed.
Not like him and his wife have made any effort to be close to anybody in the family anyway.
Can’t say it didn’t bother me to not send him and his wife birthday wishes but I feel very liberated about it right now like someone who has kept investing in a relationship where the other person just takes advantage of your feeling and plays some kind of game all of the time.
 
GP44 said:
My brother has never initiated contact with me. He is the only living member of my original family.
Shortly before the Presidential election here in the states he got on Facebook and made nasty remarks about the candidate that I supported.
I snoozed him to start with and when that ran out he started making foul mouthed comments about everything political.
So I blocked him until about a week before the election and when I unblocked him he was still making foul mouthed comments.
I told him that those remarks weren’t necessary because he knew who I supported and I knew where he stood and that we had voted already anyway.
His reply was a bunch of stupid foul mouthed comments about my candidate.
By that time it didn’t matter what the comments were about I just didn’t need that kind of language on my social media for people to see.
I told him that it was uncalled for and that I would block him again and to stay the hell away from my social media.
I am thinking of him today because it is his birthday but after doing a lot of soul searching I realized that I am the only one who ever cared enough to try to make contact with him so I doubt if he really cares if he gets a birthday wish from me or not.
He knows how to contact me if he ever wants to otherwise he no longer exists.
Click to expand...
Believing in "With us or against us" is a disgusting American habit. Drop it and ask him about the weather instead. Life (real life) is not limited to two opposite extremes. Maybe (just maybe) your brother "never initiates contact with you" for a good reason. Do you want him to like you or do you want him to like your political candidate?
 
GP44 said:
..... his political views .... no reason for him to get nasty and foul mouthed.
Click to expand...
I can understand that for sure. I've seen it in others and it's not very pleasant to hear it. If I can ...... I laugh openly but that usually makes them angry. Sigh. :cautious:
 
jujube said:
When he posted on Facebook and in a message to our family group that everybody of my political persuasion should be "put to death", I asked if he included me. .
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I realize that family is a special category but ... I was (am) a Vietnam Veteran against the war. On Facebook, an old school mate and neighbour friend (not a Vietnam Veteran) wrote that we should have killed all of the communists. I do not tolerate such talk so I blocked him immediatey without notice and I haven't reinstated him despite his attempts through back channels to get me to change my mind. I heard that he died recently and I hope (in the afterlife) that he now realizes what a jerk he was.
 
I'm surprised Facebook hasn't put your brother in what we call "Facebook jail" (eg suspended his account for at least a couple of weeks). I know people this has happened to and their posts weren't nearly as incendiary or vulgar as you say your brother's are. FB seems to target certain groups of people more than others when it comes to censoring.

As far as your relationship, I'm gong to disagree with some of the other responses. Brother or no...toxic people are not good for our health. They bring drama, negativity, stress and chronic unhappiness, all of which is bad for your mental and physical health! My Honorary Son has no contact with his remaining brother because of the bad blood between them. Sadly the brother he loved passed away from cancer a couple of years ago at such a young age. You can't change him, but you can change how you handle the situation. Do not subject yourself to a toxic relationship just because he's your brother!
 
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I'm really sorry and I can relate. Not to the political stuff but the estrangement, non support. It's been a devastating realization of who my brother is. We are both damaged from our upbringing but he's abusive.

Sometimes you just have to realize it. Doesn't make it easy or something you actually 'move on' from.
 
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