Have you ever asked out your therapist?

January said:
Ok that is obviously crucial information which you didn't mention.

so although no longer technically unethical or unprofessional, I still think it would mostly be bad idea.

If she is your current therapist - in any form of therapy - - always a bad idea.
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I don't have therapy any more, I'm beyond help!
 

Years ago, when I was a single man, I went out with a psychologist for a couple of years on and off. We're still friends to this day, but I haven't seen her for several years now. She wasn't my therapist and her speciality was dealing with women who suffered from Vaginismus.

She did tell me about one of her patients, although obviously she mentioned no names or ages, or anything other than that the poor woman had been married a year and had still not managed to consummate her marriage.

I remember one of the last times I saw her, I asked her about the woman I've mentioned above, and she told me that she succeeded in curing every patient she had. So I guess the couple did succeed in doing the deed, and all was well that ended well. 👍
 
Babs2u said:
No but I developed a sort of crush on one. It seemed odd because he certainly wasn't my type. I understand that they represent some other person in your life.
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Yeah, transference. I had a therapist about eh, 10ish years ago who was excellent and helped me navigate a difficult time. He was young though and reminded me so much of my son. I wanted to bake for him. 🥧 🤗
 
No.
The only therapists I've had were physical therapists but the reason is I'm married & had no reason to.
 
Babs2u said:
No but I developed a sort of crush on one. It seemed odd because he certainly wasn't my type. I understand that they represent some other person in your life.
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Medusa said:
Yeah, transference. I had a therapist about eh, 10ish years ago who was excellent and helped me navigate a difficult time. He was young though and reminded me so much of my son.
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Transference is almost exclusively seen in clients who have experienced abuse or trauma. When clients in marriage, adolescent, and family counseling feel attracted to their therapist, it's because the therapist is doing his/her job effectively. They're required to present as trustworthy, allow you to speak freely, listen without bias or preconception, and offer advice gently from a place of wisdom and understanding. That's literally what counsel is.
Medusa said:
I wanted to bake for him. 🥧 🤗
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😆
 
Murrmurr said:
Transference is almost exclusively seen in clients who have experienced abuse or trauma. When clients in marriage, adolescent, and family counseling feel attracted to their therapist, it's because the therapist is doing his/her job effectively. They're required to present as trustworthy, allow you to speak freely, listen without bias or preconception, and offer advice gently from a place of wisdom and understanding. That's literally what counsel is.

😆
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Actually, it's not necessarily about abuse and/or trauma but, more so simply powerful relationships, positive or negative in the client's life.
 
Murrmurr said:
Transference is almost exclusively seen in clients who have experienced abuse or trauma. When clients in marriage, adolescent, and family counseling feel attracted to their therapist, it's because the therapist is doing his/her job effectively. They're required to present as trustworthy, allow you to speak freely, listen without bias or preconception, and offer advice gently from a place of wisdom and understanding. That's literally what counsel is.

😆
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I got one good piece of advice from my psychiatrist. When I asked what shall I tell the others? He said do you have to tell them anything?
 
Medusa said:
Actually, it's not necessarily about abuse and/or trauma but, more so simply powerful relationships, positive or negative in the client's life.
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Yes, if I understand you correctly.

Therapy transference occurs when PTSD patients project the emotional baggage an abuser left them with onto the therapist. Whether negative, such as fear, anger, dependency, etc., or positive, such as displaced affection, admiration, kinship, etc., the therapist becomes the target of those emotions, and in some cases, in the mind of the patient, the therapist replaces the abuser.

And you're right, this occurs because the patient views the therapist as authoritative, having power over them, or as a provider in the literal sense.
 
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Murrmurr said:
Yes, if I understand you correctly.

Therapy transference occurs when PTSD patients project the emotional baggage an abuser left them with onto the therapist. Whether negative, such as fear, anger, dependency, etc., or positive, such as displaced affection, admiration, kinship, etc., the therapist becomes the target of those emotions, and in some cases, in the mind of the patient, the therapist replaces the abuser.

And you're right, this occurs because the patient views the therapist as authoritative, having power over them, or as a provider in the literal sense.
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What I'm saying this that transference does not occur exclusively with patients that have experienced trauma and also is not exclusive to PTSD patients. Patients can experience transference with their therapists when they identify them with powerful (read meaningful) relationships in their own lives.

Case in point would be my experience of transference with my therapist because he made me think of my son and I felt the urge to care for (bake for) him. I have an excellent, loving relationship with my son and it is also a very powerful relationship in my life.

The bottom line is that transference is not exclusive to trauma, abuse or even power dynamics and can occur in any therapist / patient relationship.
 
Murrmurr said:
Yes, if I understand you correctly.

Therapy transference occurs when PTSD patients project the emotional baggage an abuser left them with onto the therapist. Whether negative, such as fear, anger, dependency, etc., or positive, such as displaced affection, admiration, kinship, etc., the therapist becomes the target of those emotions, and in some cases, in the mind of the patient, the therapist replaces the abuser.

And you're right, this occurs because the patient views the therapist as authoritative, having power over them, or as a provider in the literal sense.
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"Why do you hate your mother?"

😁😒🤣
 
I would think it would be quite natural to want to become closer to the person that is helping you do life better, but the therapist understands this and thus sets boundaries to protect you.
 

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