Have you ever "had to step aside"?
- Thread starter Jace
- Start date
One time I was filling an ATM in the little room attached to the back of it, when a large man walked up and said he was there to do maintenance. I didn't recognize him as the usual Diebold maintenance man so I asked for ID. He said he didn't have it with him. I said he couldn't come in then. He told me my boss had sent him.
This was inside a military officer's fitness area. They started gathering around, all psyched to defend a lady in distress. I called my boss who said yes he had sent someone. I asked for a description. Boss said the man was black. This narrowed it down to one of the 95% of men in the DC area.
I said okay and stepped aside, losing face in front of all those officers and hoping with all my heart the man would steal the $100,000 I had just put in there and my boss would be in trouble.
This was inside a military officer's fitness area. They started gathering around, all psyched to defend a lady in distress. I called my boss who said yes he had sent someone. I asked for a description. Boss said the man was black. This narrowed it down to one of the 95% of men in the DC area.
I said okay and stepped aside, losing face in front of all those officers and hoping with all my heart the man would steal the $100,000 I had just put in there and my boss would be in trouble.
Sawfish
Member
- Location
- The bottom of the sea.
I can see your point.I don't step aside gracefully either, but it depends on the situation the OP is talking about. Could beor
.
I'm postulating any situation that appears to me to have significant consequences for me, as a person, and my family by extension.
If it's going to affect me, I want control of it. I don't think anyone is as good--and for sure not as motivated--at identifying and pursuing my best interests.
multimodAL
Member
should a person try to overstep me, i might sidestep the issue and docey doe, if they grab my arm, let's promenade... in life's dance, stepping aside is for wallflowers.
don't that square with you?
don't that square with you?
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Good plan! And in a group situation, allemande left with your lift hand then right to all your partners for a right n' left grand.
multimodAL
Member
awesome @Della! now, let's all square offt 'n on the barnyard fer to dance! it's dilly so don't dally.
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CallMeKate
Well-known Member
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic US
multimodAL
Member
had the psychodellic square dance of my life before the turn of the century, which was such a different time. i was assigned to detach a high profile law firm's data security analyst. so i got hired on with him as my superior.
i prepared the operation in advance of pulling the plug. the scenario arranged was for me to bring in his replacement, perform the extraction, then overlook the transition after which i was rendered redundant and asked to step aside. for this i was grateful because to hire ones own boss isn't my idea of progress.
much of the details are omitted because all of it treads on the grey side of the law but what a dance that was.
i prepared the operation in advance of pulling the plug. the scenario arranged was for me to bring in his replacement, perform the extraction, then overlook the transition after which i was rendered redundant and asked to step aside. for this i was grateful because to hire ones own boss isn't my idea of progress.
much of the details are omitted because all of it treads on the grey side of the law but what a dance that was.
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multimodAL
Member
there's been others with dire consequences too...
i was requested to return after traveling abroad a few years in order to do double duty in assisting recuperate a bedridden and despondent individual as well as her caregiver who was in the process of dealing with her own dependencies.
so i returned sept 2018, and by christmas was dancing the lindy with the newly ambulatory formerly frail lady, and my dear friend. unfortunately her caregiver who now felt well enough to take over made it extremely difficult to ensure everyone's safety.
although i gracefully agreed to perform the handover at her requested date of feb 14th (oddly enough), shortly thereafter i received an ultimatum with a running countdown starting from feb 1st to feb 14th with a downward incrementing dollar amount, went on to list later dates with associated sums incrementing even lower all the way to the 31st. at which point the amount jumped to the correct amount, that which i supposedly had already earned was listed.
the last time there was even a february 30th was 1700 sweden...
"February 30, 1712, came into existence in Sweden when the Julian calendar was restored and 2 leap days were added that year."
...so the contract was null. stipulated in the contract was i was not to discuss the contract with her. when the caregiver heard through her patient that i planned on fulfilling the contract to the nth degree she blew her top and we had words. the cops were called in and i was asked to step aside.
by june the patient had passed away and sometime later i happened to be at a shop i frequented when i overhead a discussion mentioning my name. she spun around when i said hello and the look she gave was that of crushing despair which emptied the room of its oxygen. inaction is sometimes the best move in order to allow others their own sense of self-destruction.
i was requested to return after traveling abroad a few years in order to do double duty in assisting recuperate a bedridden and despondent individual as well as her caregiver who was in the process of dealing with her own dependencies.
so i returned sept 2018, and by christmas was dancing the lindy with the newly ambulatory formerly frail lady, and my dear friend. unfortunately her caregiver who now felt well enough to take over made it extremely difficult to ensure everyone's safety.
although i gracefully agreed to perform the handover at her requested date of feb 14th (oddly enough), shortly thereafter i received an ultimatum with a running countdown starting from feb 1st to feb 14th with a downward incrementing dollar amount, went on to list later dates with associated sums incrementing even lower all the way to the 31st. at which point the amount jumped to the correct amount, that which i supposedly had already earned was listed.
the last time there was even a february 30th was 1700 sweden...
"February 30, 1712, came into existence in Sweden when the Julian calendar was restored and 2 leap days were added that year."
...so the contract was null. stipulated in the contract was i was not to discuss the contract with her. when the caregiver heard through her patient that i planned on fulfilling the contract to the nth degree she blew her top and we had words. the cops were called in and i was asked to step aside.
by june the patient had passed away and sometime later i happened to be at a shop i frequented when i overhead a discussion mentioning my name. she spun around when i said hello and the look she gave was that of crushing despair which emptied the room of its oxygen. inaction is sometimes the best move in order to allow others their own sense of self-destruction.
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JaniceM
Well-known Member
- Location
- still lost between two shores..
You said you listened to the show.. so can you put it into context?While listeningto a talk show..the host asked that question..
And, it got me to thinking...
Which, I'm still thinking about.
But, maybe 'you' could answer it..better than me..right now.
Care to share!
I have stepped aside, stepped down, stepped back, stepped outside. Sometimes taking a step is the best thing you can do in any given situation.
Given that I have also stepped up, stepped forward, stepped in, when the situation required it. The tricky part is knowing when to do what!
Given that I have also stepped up, stepped forward, stepped in, when the situation required it. The tricky part is knowing when to do what!
multimodAL
Member
then there was that time...
i befriended ralph frese "mr. canoe" during the twilight of his life just before that last bout with cancer. in retrospect, we must've been an odd lookin' lot with 40 yrs difference between us. an incredible man, quite the storied fellow... look'em up. the north branch of the chicago river is named for him antemortem (while he was alive.)
when he really started finding difficulty functioning he allowed me to do my work. developing strategies to relieve the ravage of chemo seemed to provide some relief though difficult to tell because he rarely admitted he was ever in pain. it was 2012, thc was a big no-no and the doctors turned a blind eye to my illicit activities. everything was proceeding smoothly (downhill) until rita, his wife, found this out which immediately changed my status from close family friend to persona non grata. it's not the first time my connection to a community lay in tatters. i was told to immediately step aside then had to watch from a distance as his condition took a steep dive. that week he wound up in hospice, and gone shortly after that.
about a month afterwards dr sanjay gupta announced that thc was effective in easing chemotherapy's effects. vindication, so i may be of assistance, came too late for the man who considered me one of two sons he never had. the other dude he's known since the lawrence and clark paddle reenactment in the 1970's.
when i bump into or paddle ralph's canoe, which is now in my care, it's like hangin' with ralph again. though while speaking to a shaman about him at the place of refuge on big island, a palm frond hit the ground. the dude acknowledge ralph's presence mid sentence as if his spirit dropped in for a talk.
i know yer out there somewhere rita... it is what it was (and i'm okay with that.)
i befriended ralph frese "mr. canoe" during the twilight of his life just before that last bout with cancer. in retrospect, we must've been an odd lookin' lot with 40 yrs difference between us. an incredible man, quite the storied fellow... look'em up. the north branch of the chicago river is named for him antemortem (while he was alive.)
when he really started finding difficulty functioning he allowed me to do my work. developing strategies to relieve the ravage of chemo seemed to provide some relief though difficult to tell because he rarely admitted he was ever in pain. it was 2012, thc was a big no-no and the doctors turned a blind eye to my illicit activities. everything was proceeding smoothly (downhill) until rita, his wife, found this out which immediately changed my status from close family friend to persona non grata. it's not the first time my connection to a community lay in tatters. i was told to immediately step aside then had to watch from a distance as his condition took a steep dive. that week he wound up in hospice, and gone shortly after that.
about a month afterwards dr sanjay gupta announced that thc was effective in easing chemotherapy's effects. vindication, so i may be of assistance, came too late for the man who considered me one of two sons he never had. the other dude he's known since the lawrence and clark paddle reenactment in the 1970's.
when i bump into or paddle ralph's canoe, which is now in my care, it's like hangin' with ralph again. though while speaking to a shaman about him at the place of refuge on big island, a palm frond hit the ground. the dude acknowledge ralph's presence mid sentence as if his spirit dropped in for a talk.
i know yer out there somewhere rita... it is what it was (and i'm okay with that.)
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multimodAL
Member
just then...
there's a new dance for a new day. i do love the message so here's the portuguese to english translation. be careful, this dance is more real than life!
"Just then, after having dreamed all these years
After having made many plans
Of a future for us
Just then, after many disillusions
We left each other as many couples do
I want you to feel happy
Then I shall be happy as well
Just then, after I passed the whole night8
While waiting for nothing
After I dragged myself across the floor
In vain
You turned your back on me
You didn't give me the answers
That I need to hear
I want is you to be better
Then I shall be better too
You and I
Have had the special moments
But our time has passed
That's something we can't deny
It was good
We made up stories
To keep on our memories
And to follow us wherever we go
I want you to live without me
I'll also make it
Just then, after we've accepted the facts
I will change all your portraits for someone else's
My precious one
We will be free
To love as much as we want to
Without betraying anyone else
I want you to be happy
Then I shall be happy as well
Just then"
ain't no side steppin' ears... let's dance!
"Just then, after having dreamed all these years
After having made many plans
Of a future for us
Just then, after many disillusions
We left each other as many couples do
I want you to feel happy
Then I shall be happy as well
Just then, after I passed the whole night8
While waiting for nothing
After I dragged myself across the floor
In vain
You turned your back on me
You didn't give me the answers
That I need to hear
I want is you to be better
Then I shall be better too
You and I
Have had the special moments
But our time has passed
That's something we can't deny
It was good
We made up stories
To keep on our memories
And to follow us wherever we go
I want you to live without me
I'll also make it
Just then, after we've accepted the facts
I will change all your portraits for someone else's
My precious one
We will be free
To love as much as we want to
Without betraying anyone else
I want you to be happy
Then I shall be happy as well
Just then"
ain't no side steppin' ears... let's dance!
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Happy Retiree
Member
- Location
- Canada
Well if "step aside" means to avoid confrontation.....I usually don't just step aside, I run away.