Have you, or do you get along well with your in-laws?

My FIL was a gentle soul who never said an unkind word that I know of to anyone in his life. My MIL was the exact opposite. She lived to be 100, and alienated all her children to the point none of them wanted to be around her, except for my wife, who had endless patience. We tried countless times to help her in her final years, but nothing we did ever pleased her.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
My FIL was a gentle soul who never said an unkind word that I know of to anyone in his life. My MIL was the exact opposite. She lived to be 100, and alienated all her children to the point none of them wanted to be around her, except for my wife, who had endless patience. We tried countless times to help her in her final years, but nothing we did ever pleased her.
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That's a shame....
 
I get along great with my in-laws. My mother in law just passed last Christmas and my father in law and I get along great. Heā€™s said to me recently that if he ever had more children that heā€™d name them after me.
Then again, heā€™s 84 and starting to get dementia. My husband is cutting down a big maple tree beside our house. It died a couple of years ago. He told his father that it will be perfect for firewood / Woodstove. My fil asked if it was ok that the tree was dead to get used for firewood. Heā€™s a smart man but itā€™s clear his mind is slipping. :( Itā€™s a sad thing to witness. I watched my parents go through the same thing.
 
My late husband's Mother, I tried my best to overlook her snippy remarks to me, she wasn't mean she just believed if it didn't come from Missouri, it wasn't any good and I was from California. He loved her dearly so I just kept my distance and smiled a lot. My current husband, I adored his Father, his mother had already passed so never knew her.
 
My in-laws were very nice people, but extremely racist and conservative. I had almost nothing in common with them, but we were polite to one another. Spouse is an only child so he was quite literally, the "apple of their eye."

We once laughed about how if anything went wrong for him, I would be the one to get blamed. I told him, "I've got broad shoulders, it doesn't bother me!"
 
Well, my mother-in-law referred to me as the Wh0re of Babylon on more than one occasion. She did not come our wedding, needless to say.

It's a .... short....story. They had "given" my late husband to the Church (with eleven kids, somebody has to be a priest or nun), but after eight years in the seminary, he left and went into the Army. We met and fell in love. When he told them he was going to marry me, all hell broke loose. They had convinced themselves that when he got out of the Army, he'd "come back to his senses" and re-enter the seminary for his final four years.

Not only was I not Catholic, I...gasp...had been engaged before so obviously that made me the next thing to a Lady of the Night.

I didn't meet my mother- or father-in-law for five years. After that, we became "civil". That's about all l can say about that. I did get very close with other members of the family, though.
 
I went to Mass many years but could never repeat the "only 1 true church part."

Ya sort of get the feeling they Inlaws young and old don't wanna be around after a couple of years.
 
IrishEyes said:
My late husband's Mother, I tried my best to overlook her snippy remarks to me, she wasn't mean she just believed if it didn't come from Missouri, it wasn't any good and I was from California. He loved her dearly so I just kept my distance and smiled a lot. My current husband, I adored his Father, his mother had already passed so never knew her.
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It sounds like you handled your late husbandā€™s mom with a lot of grace and patienceā€”sometimes thatā€™s all you can do when personalities donā€™t quite align. Itā€™s clear you cared deeply about him, and Iā€™m sure he appreciated the way you respected his mother despite the differences. Iā€™m glad to hear you had a good relationship with your current husbandā€™s father too. Itā€™s always special when you connect with your in-laws in that way.
 
I so loved my FIL, but my MIL was an absolute bitch! Nothing and I mean nothing would please her. She was always so pissed off saying she had to take care of her disabled sister while growing up. Early on in our marriage I'd ask her "What was your sister's disability?" She'd always had that soured look on her face as if she'd just bit into a lemon with no answer. After about 3x I'd ask her, she just turned stone cold towards me. No love there whatsoever.

Well through many, many genetics it turns out her sister was Autistic. So are her many grandchildren along with our son to boot. Our son is a level 3 and w/o any knowledge from the MIL we lost 27 years of our marriage in regard to how do we do this? How do we do that? Nothing. Sounds weird but I love my husband to death, but we've been lost as a couple for almost 28 years now. No time for us if you will. All time on our son. We're just plain exhausted but would have loved to know what we were up against if the MIL would have fessed up in the first place.
 
My MIL passed away from cancer when she was 57. I barely got to know her, but she was a Filipino doctor and was a well-respected member of her community. My FIL was a typical macho Filipino man. Our gay relationship was never discussed, but he was always a part of our lives. He visited our house at Christmas. He gave us a cake plate as a gift. We laughed about it because neither of us cooked but it was his way of acknowledging our domestic relationship. Unfortunately he passed away while working on the roof of his house when he fell off. I feel robbed by having no in-laws. I know we would have been really close.

Hubby, on the other hand, had my father who was a wonderful man and an advocate for our relationship. He passed away 9 years into our relationship and we still miss him. My mother, his MIL, was with us for another 30 years. She was difficult, but she loved him because he was the one who never had to say "no" to her.
 
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That would be a yes and a no. The older ones were nice but they are gone now.
The younger ones not so nice. They are very rigid in their thinking and I am not.
Theres no middle ground with them. Forget about trying to lay low.
You must agree. If you dont they will verbally harass you till you do.
I refuse to argue. That does not go over well. :D
They are still having smack downs over who won the last election. #headsmack

I have been no contact with them since the husbands funeral in 2022.
One of them has even defriended me on Facebook.
You would think they would be nicer to me since I have no family left and I have money. :D
 
I wasnā€™t close with my ex husbandā€™s parents. She was very controlling, he was cowed and timid as a result. I was careful around her, of what I said, how I dressed etc because she would let loose with scathing, nasty comments about anything that displeased her.

By the time Ron and I married, our parents had long since passed away.

As a mother in law myself, Iā€™ve been careful to not overstep. On the other hand my kids have amazing spouses, and our relationship is just lovely. My son in law has a complicated relationship with his own mother, and heā€™s said outright that Iā€™m more of a mom to him than his mother ever was.

My soon to be daughter in law and I are close. She loves her mom but says she cantā€™t be around her for too long because she canā€™t stand her momā€™s negativity about life in general. She said she feels like sheā€™s won the lottery getting me for a mother in law!
 

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