Having a house guest. Being a houseguest. Read below.

When I had my bigger house I thoroughly loved people over. If they had kids, that was good I had my Home Day Care
room with toys galore.
My main problem is anyone being in the kitchen when I am cooking. It distracts me too much.

With 2 sons living on each coast so visits are rare, if they don't want to stay here, yea my feelings get hurt a bit, but if
it means my sons get some brother bonding time, I get over it. If they do stay over with their brother they always make
Mom and Me time too.
 

I have never stayed over anywhere unless, in the old days, I had had to much to drink. I would be happy to sleep on the floor with a blanket and a pillow🥸

I am a good 10 hours away from my old life. When my brother & his family come down, they are welcome with open arms. He just texted me recently and said he plans to come down in the spring. I said thanks for the early warning, if I start right now, I can have your room ready for you.😂😂😂

My son’s closest friend and his fiancé were down here two months ago. They did so much work to help me catch up, including hacking away at the Rose bushes in the front of the house so they will grow nice this spring. They are hard-working farm kids and I treat them with open arms like they’re my own kin.

I don’t have to set out any ground rules with the folks that visit me these days. They’re all respectful and know the drill, including getting along with my two guard dogs, which they do —- get along with them.
 
We have a variety of friends who stay over, usually when they make a detour on their travels to see us. They stay for a couple of nights. They’re all lovely house guests. I have no expectations of them doing anything while they’re here, but if I need help with something I’ll just ask. They will take us out to lunch or dinner as a thank you for our hospitality.

I leave out extra blankets and pillows for their use if they need them, and make sure they know that the towels in the guest bath are for their use and not just decorative. I put out extra toilet paper and make sure there’s a plunger in the bathroom. The shower is supplied with shampoo, conditioner, bath soap and a razor. Hand soap and lotion on the vanity along with an unopened toothbrush and toothpaste just in case.

I love to cook so I’m always ready to make meals. I always check for allergies/preferences and am happy to accommodate their needs.

Gee, re-reading all that sounds like a lot! But it really isn’t….most of it’s already in place!

When we’re houseguests, we do our best to be considerate. We always offer help, Ron will tend to the garbage, I’ll cook a meal or two, we take our hosts out for a meal. Because of Ron’s profession there will often be a request for him to look at something problematic in the house, offer advice about a proposed building project, maybe give some hands on assistance with something.

When we’re ready to leave, unless we’re told not to, we’ll strip the bed and take the sheets and any used towels to the laundry room. We offer to make up the bed with fresh sheets.

Basically we try to be the kinds of houseguests that we would like to host in our house!
 

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Ronni said:
We have a variety of friends who stay over, usually when they make a detour on their travels to see us. They stay for a couple of nights. They’re all lovely house guests. I have no expectations of them doing anything while they’re here, but if I need help with something I’ll just ask. They will take us out to lunch or dinner as a thank you for our hospitality.

I leave out extra blankets and pillows for their use if they need them, and make sure they know that the towels in the guest bath are for their use and not just decorative. I put out extra toilet paper and make sure there’s a plunger in the bathroom. The shower is supplied with shampoo, conditioner, bath soap and a razor. Hand soap and lotion on the vanity along with an unopened toothbrush and toothpaste just in case.

I love to cook so I’m always ready to make meals. I always check for allergies/preferences and am happy to accommodate their needs.

Gee, re-reading all that sounds like a lot! But it really isn’t….most of it’s already in place!

When we’re houseguests, we do our best to be considerate. We always offer help, Ron will tend to the garbage, I’ll cook a meal or two, we take our hosts out for a meal. Because of Ron’s profession there will often be a request for him to look at something problematic in the house, offer advice about a proposed building project, maybe give some hands on assistance with something.

When we’re ready to leave, unless we’re told not to, we’ll strip the bed and take the sheets and any used towels to the laundry room. We offer to make up the bed with fresh sheets.

Basically we try to be the kind of houseguest that we would like in our house!
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When can I come over?
 
As an elderly widowed male (with working son living in basement apartment) I found this discussion very interesting and wonder if folks care to comment about how to 'invite' and limit the 'rights' of non relative 'guests' in such a situation as I seek some support for my passing years.
 
RuralKanuck said:
As an elderly widowed male (with working son living in basement apartment) I found this discussion very interesting and wonder if folks care to comment about how to 'invite' and limit the 'rights' of non relative 'guests' in such a situation as I seek some support for my passing years.
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State right from the start that you’re only up to X amount of time with company and that you may need help with Y. It’ll be easier if they know right up front what you can deal with.
 
We used to have quite a few houseguests visiting and staying with us but now it is rare.
We like to stay in a hotel when we visit friends or relatives. It is more comfortable for us. We also like to take them out for dinner during our visit.
 
RuralKanuck said:
As an elderly widowed male (with working son living in basement apartment) I found this discussion very interesting and wonder if folks care to comment about how to 'invite' and limit the 'rights' of non relative 'guests' in such a situation as I seek some support for my passing years.
Click to expand...
I’m not exactly sure what rights you’re referring to. Are you talking about house rules like no smoking inside or no feet on the coffee table? Whatever, I would be very clear about the house rules as incidents occur.

E.g. I have coasters sitting on my coffee table to clearly indicate the need for them. If a guest is oblivious of them and puts their drink directly on the table, I’ll just hand them a coaster with a smile.
If it’s family I’m less polite. 😂

If it’s something like duration of visit, your guests should tell you that if they’re asking if they can visit, or should should be clear how long they can stay if you’re extending the invitation. If they’re vague, it’s totally ok for you to ask for specifics.

If I’ve misunderstood the rights you’re referring to, please clarify so we can all be clearer on what you mean.
 
Ronnl, I am thinking of a longer term semi formal arrangement where an old fellow need a little household help and some company preferably without getting bogged down in a bunch of legal gobldegock. I know, I know damn near impossible .......
 
RuralKanuck said:
Ronnl, I am thinking of a longer term semi formal arrangement where an old fellow need a little household help and some company preferably without getting bogged down in a bunch of legal gobldegock. I know, I know damn near impossible .......
Click to expand...
Better ask your son and hire someone for a few hours a week.

My dad could only stay home if he got 24/7 care. Otherwise the doctor refused to help him. First my brother did everything. He lives there.

He even got up at night to give him bread or change his bed and nurses came every day half an hour or so, but they said it was too much and he had to go to a home for elderly.

The only way he could have stayed home was if he got a nurse there 24/7. One woman was willing to do it. It's in Holland.

A Polish woman who had no house. If she could live there (3 tiny bedrooms where my brother also works) she wanted to do it. They didn't want that. He went to a home.

Otherwise my mom and brother would now be living with her there and she'd never go away since there are no houses.

I have seen in the paper that young students rented a room from an elderly person and helped them with some stuff in exchange for a room and that goes well.
 
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