Having a tough few days...may I vent?

Below are just some helpful suggestions.

Disclosure: I am 100% sure you know this but in case someone else
reads this and needs a reminder when getting help from outsiders, never share
your financial statement, account numbers, credit card numbers, passwords etc
You can trust your banker who also may be able to help you.

elderhelpers.org
Volunteers offer FREE help to seniors
I hope this helps, @Marie5656

Also, since your brother is willing to help,
ask him to check-in on a regular basis to
make sure you haven't overlooked anything.

Edit: One more thing, if you have a Senior Center near you
they should also be able to help steer you in the right direction
for finding help with your situation in the community.
 

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Alizerine said:
Tough day? I am looking for diversion. I had my wonderful 15 year old cat put down this morning. Knowing it was the right thing to do doesn't make me miss him less.
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved pet. Many of us here know that pain well. It goes to the very depths of our souls.

@papa tiger's advice is good. The only way I know to soften the loss of a pet is to find another one to shower with love as soon as you are able.
 
Alizerine said:
Tough day? I am looking for diversion. I had my wonderful 15 year old cat put down this morning. Knowing it was the right thing to do doesn't make me miss him less.
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So sorry to hear that, Alizerine; I'm glad your kitty got to live with you during his time here on earth; hugs.

And Marie, please don't beat yourself up; hugs and you can always come here to vent.
 
Marie5656 said:
Better, thanks. My check is coming from IRA, plus my Social Security goes in tomorrow. I am cool
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Marie, please don't beat yourself up over this, we all make mistakes. The important thing is you took action to resolve the problem and you can be more mindful not to let it happen again. I admire you and your independence, I lean on my husband a lot for advice and support, I would not be as strong as you have been in your situation. Sending you love and hugs my friend.....glad things are a little bit better now.
 
Alizerine said:
Tough day? I am looking for diversion. I had my wonderful 15 year old cat put down this morning. Knowing it was the right thing to do doesn't make me miss him less.
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I am so sorry to hear that Alizerine, may he rest peacefully. I know how much you're hurting right now, you will always have a spot of warmth in your heart for your baby boy. He depended on you to make that hard decision, and he was blessed to have you love and care for him all his life. Hugs. 💜

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SeaBreeze said:
I am so sorry to hear that Alizerine, may he rest peacefully. I know how much your hurting right now, you will always have a spot of warmth in your heart for your baby boy. He depended on you to make that hard decision, and he was blessed to have you love and care for him all his life. Hugs. 💜

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Thank you so much.
 
Marie, obviously you know you need to do better. That's a good thing because the first step to making real change is admitting you need to do so. But have you asked yourself why you haven't made the necessary changes already? Money management takes time and patience. There's no way around it. If you haven't already, make a monthly budget, leaving a little leeway for small, unexpected things.

You need to be able to see it and refer to it often, even if that means writing it down. I use two budget spreadsheets, one self generated with projected spending for the quarter and the other is Vertex's self tallying Family Budget Planner, which has several categories, to record actual spending. Find other Vertex budget sheets here: Excel Templates, Calendars, Calculators and Spreadsheets by Vertex42

If possible save some of your check each month, even if it's only a few dollars. There are always ways to cut back and save money. Again...one must take the time to research how. But here are some suggestions for starters. #12 says Bundle cable and internet. I say, better yet, if you have a very good internet service, cut cable altogether and choose much cheaper streaming options.
How to Save Money: 27 Proven Ways - NerdWallet

You can do this Marie!
 
Marie5656 said:
Better, thanks. My check is coming from IRA, plus my Social Security goes in tomorrow. I am cool
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Well, while it's easy to say, feeling anguish isn't going to solve the problem. What you need is a clear intent to do better moving forward. Credit Cards aren't the answer though, imo.

I don't often have anything good to say about cell phones, but banking is one really cool thing. I can check my balance as often as I like, once a week, or 100 times a day. It keeps totals for how much I have in the bank, and how much I have to spend less outgoings to the end of the month. It's a small thing, but so useful. If I'm going to be buying something, I always check the balance first. We might have an idea of how much is in our accounts, but ultimately it's what the bank thinks we have that matters for any given purchase.

Still, I'm not - and have never been - a money guy. Easy come, easy go. I've lived a life where, for the most part, I've been able to have what I wanted at any given time, and that's got me through.

Be annoyed at yourself for a bit, and then plan for moving forward. Every day is valuable, more so than a dollar, so don't let it bring you misery. You've been a silly-billy, we all do that sometimes. ;)
 
Alizerine said:
Thank you all for the support you showed for the loss of my cat.

And I somehow missed the problem that Marie was having but I wish her the very best. She seems like such a good person.
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I'm so sorry you lost your fur baby. Been there done that with euthanizing our Audra, who we had for 18 years, at the advice of her kind, caring vet. We still think of her and talk about her. I hope happy, fun memories of you time with your cat help ease your grief.
 
I'm late to this discussion, as usual. Although, I haven't been on this forum for several months so I guess I missed a lot.

My heartfelt condolences to Alizerine on losing her beloved kitty. They are so much a part of you that losing them is devastating. I've been there and so have many others here. (((HUGS))).

Marie5656...I hope you are doing better financially now and there was so much good advice and encouragement on here. I find myself in a difficult financial situation that I never thought I'd be in, but here it is. Unfortunately, I have some tough decisions to make but my mind is like a ping pong ball right now and I can't seem to get my thoughts together. I guess that's why they tell you not to make any big decisions after a loved one passes away.

My husband passed away suddenly on the 13th. Not only was it a total shock (and I think I'm still in shock) but all the things you have to do seems overwhelming. I'm alone here. We've only lived in this house and this area about 1 1/2 years and we've spent all our time (and a huge chunk of money) having it remodeled because it was never updated from when it was built in 1969. That's another story and I think I've shared that in the past postings.

Not only was his passing a shock but I found out that I will not be getting his pension or the death benefit they used to give (the Board of Directors decided they needed it more than widows) so I'll only get his SS. I get a tiny pension that's not even worth mentioning because it doesn't even pay the water bill. I've got to decide: do I keep the truck that he just got 6 months ago (it's a lease and I'd be losing a big chunk of money and I'd have to pay fees+balance of what's owed)? Do I stay in this big house by myself and try to make the payments and maintain it on a small budget?

So, Marie....you could be worse off. Wish an overdraft was my only problem :)
 
Colleen said:
I'm late to this discussion, as usual. Although, I haven't been on this forum for several months so I guess I missed a lot.

My heartfelt condolences to Alizerine on losing her beloved kitty. They are so much a part of you that losing them is devastating. I've been there and so have many others here. (((HUGS))).

Marie5656...I hope you are doing better financially now and there was so much good advice and encouragement on here. I find myself in a difficult financial situation that I never thought I'd be in, but here it is. Unfortunately, I have some tough decisions to make but my mind is like a ping pong ball right now and I can't seem to get my thoughts together. I guess that's why they tell you not to make any big decisions after a loved one passes away.

My husband passed away suddenly on the 13th. Not only was it a total shock (and I think I'm still in shock) but all the things you have to do seems overwhelming. I'm alone here. We've only lived in this house and this area about 1 1/2 years and we've spent all our time (and a huge chunk of money) having it remodeled because it was never updated from when it was built in 1969. That's another story and I think I've shared that in the past postings.

Not only was his passing a shock but I found out that I will not be getting his pension or the death benefit they used to give (the Board of Directors decided they needed it more than widows) so I'll only get his SS. I get a tiny pension that's not even worth mentioning because it doesn't even pay the water bill. I've got to decide: do I keep the truck that he just got 6 months ago (it's a lease and I'd be losing a big chunk of money and I'd have to pay fees+balance of what's owed)? Do I stay in this big house by myself and try to make the payments and maintain it on a small budget?

So, Marie....you could be worse off. Wish an overdraft was my only problem :)
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So sorry, @Colleen ! What a dump truck load of decisions on top of grief! (((Gentle hugs)).
 
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