Hello, this is my first post, introducing myself and my current hot-button issue

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Carl B

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As you can see, I'm calling myself Carl B. For now, although I'm sure my interests will grow, I'm interested in how y'all get along with your adult children. Is there a thread that explores this topic? I have a daughter who lives 3 miles away, and lately we have frictions regarding my visits to her and her family (2 children and her husband). She has set a limit on my visits: Once a week, when invited. It hurts! Living alone sucks!
 

Carl B - Aloha and Welcome from the Big Island of Hawaii! Sorry to hear about the issue with your daughter. Yes there are several threads on here about relationships with adult children. We talk about everything, it seems.
 
Greetings from Massachusetts Carl. Several threads on relationships with adult children as others have said. I have one myself and got some good advice from other forum participants.
 
Welcome Carl B. I too live alone and have a daughter living just three miles from me, but her three children are married adults (my grandchildren) also live only 3 or four miles away. I have never had a problem visiting any of them. Why are your visits limited?
It would be helpful if you would complete some profile data.
 
Carl, my husband had to put limits on his kids calling. They would @#$#$ him out. He put a stop to that. At the age of 45 one of them is finally growing up, a little. The other one is always spaced out on some prescription drug that she doesn't need. They are both high maintenance and talk nonstop. They don't really care how we are doing. They want us to listen, but they aren't willing to reciprocate. We just don't put up with it.

Welcome.
 
It may be hard to hear, but suggest you invite them out to dinner, do something nice for their home, take their children on an outing if they are still young enough, etc. They aren't likely to take care of you in any way, but they might respond to what you are willing to do. I'm sure you have heard the adage "keep your mouth shut and your wallet open" - no offense intended. I'm a widow, have 3 daughters and 9 grandchildren (4-22). I keep in touch with them all but it takes a real effort on my part. They have busy lives. Participate in their lives by going out of your way for them and expect no return. It can be lots of fun and rewarding.
 
I think that is someone can't be bothered, I can't either. I spent my whole life going the extra mile. Without reciprocity nothing means anything.
 
llperry said:
It may be hard to hear, but suggest you invite them out to dinner, do something nice for their home, take their children on an outing if they are still young enough, etc. They aren't likely to take care of you in any way, but they might respond to what you are willing to do. I'm sure you have heard the adage "keep your mouth shut and your wallet open" - no offense intended. I'm a widow, have 3 daughters and 9 grandchildren (4-22). I keep in touch with them all but it takes a real effort on my part. They have busy lives. Participate in their lives by going out of your way for them and expect no return. It can be lots of fun and rewarding.
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llperry, I've taken them to dinner many times. A new restaurant is about to open in the nearby town, and they have a standing invitation from me to dine there. And I paid over $6,000 for paving their long driveway. And I had sensor lights installed outside their house. And the list goes on. When I started reminding my daughter of things I had done for them, she was offended.

But the skirmishing has ended, we are at peace now. It was the son-in-law. He was offended by my access to the refrigerator. I stay out of the kitchen and visit only in the living room.
 

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