Hope for the best, plan for the worst

Daisy99

Daisy99

Member
There is a thread about senior homelessness and it got me to thinking - Let’s discuss this.
Tell us about people you know who have met unexpected circumstances.
Tips on preparing ourselves for the worst.
Anything you think we all need to know about.

Please don’t pass this by and say, “Oh, that won’t happen to me.” It can and has happened to people from all walks of life.
 

I had a neighbor who wasn’t in the best of health. When her husband retired, he opted for a larger monthly pension rather than the leaving his wife with a pension if he should die first. He didn’t tell her. Additionally, she agreed to a second mortgage so he could buy himself a Harley!

Well, you guessed. He died unexpectedly of a blood clot after surgery.
 
The apartment building I live in is the last stop before being homeless. And there is a waiting list.......a long one. It is subsidized for seniors and the disabled and you have to meet certain income standards. Because of the waiting list people become homeless waiting. Some have to wait more than a year. Getting your name on the lists of all the apartments in your area before you need one is a good idea. If your name comes up and you aren't ready to move just pass on it that time. Make sure your name stays on the list though.

Especially important for couples due to being dependent on a joint income.
 

The worst case that I have witnessed personally is one of my brothers who is now 77 years old and has spent the last 25 years living in a piece of crap camper tucked into an old barn. He has electric and running water but no hot water, for heat he uses the camper stove. He used to shower at my sister's but that blew up so he must wash with a sponge, or not at all.

He was an intelligent guy and had a good job but always lived recklessly, drugs, drinking, fancy cars, young girlfriends, etc. Lived paycheck to paycheck and every catastrophe put him further into the hole. He was around 38 when he lost his job, defaulted on loans, declared bankruptcy, got in trouble with the IRS.

He just never planned past the moment and his life for the past forty years has just been one train wreck after another. But none of it is his fault, the world and everybody in it is always trying to screw him.
 
Daisy99 said:
There is a thread about senior homelessness and it got me to thinking - Let’s discuss this.
Tell us about people you know who have met unexpected circumstances.
Tips on preparing ourselves for the worst.
Anything you think we all need to know about.

Please don’t pass this by and say, “Oh, that won’t happen to me.” It can and has happened to people from all walks of life.
Click to expand...
you're new to the forum, so you won't know that 2 years ago, I was left financially in the lurch... when my husband left suddenly .. no warning.. nothing.. marriage one day.. none the next.. It's been a horrific time.

he was always the one who dealt with all the maintenance in the home, and also the one who had the direct debits to pay the bills...

The last time I paid bills myself was before we married and I sent cheques.. or paid at the post office.. never electronically.. so I've had to learn all that myself since he's been gone ... and fortunately I knew how to handle a screwdriver and hammer since I was very young.. but he did all our plumbing and electrics, so since he's been gone I've had to find people who are affordable to do these things for me..

So.. really if you're in a comfortable marriage.. as I was.. don't think for one minute this won't or couldn't happen to you...I never expected to be living alone at 68...
 
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Daisy99 said:
There is a thread about senior homelessness and it got me to thinking - Let’s discuss this.
Tell us about people you know who have met unexpected circumstances.
Tips on preparing ourselves for the worst.
Anything you think we all need to know about.

Please don’t pass this by and say, “Oh, that won’t happen to me.” It can and has happened to people from all walks of life.
Click to expand...
This is a good thread and I've a feeling that although Theresa appreciates the thoughts and suggestions, she would like that her thread moves on to here and off her personal situation. Just my guess.
When we were staying in a hotel in Durham there was a woman sleeping in her car when we pulled up. Later we saw her having breakfast there at the hotel. She seemed friendly. I'm pretty sure she lived in her car and found resources to get by. I believe it happens a lot.
 
katlupe said:
The apartment building I live in is the last stop before being homeless. And there is a waiting list.......a long one. It is subsidized for seniors and the disabled and you have to meet certain income standards. Because of the waiting list people become homeless waiting. Some have to wait more than a year. Getting your name on the lists of all the apartments in your area before you need one is a good idea. If your name comes up and you aren't ready to move just pass on it that time. Make sure your name stays on the list though.

Especially important for couples due to being dependent on a joint income.
Click to expand...
I'm glad you're established there.
 
I do not know anybody personally but I hear and read about it. The news channel had a series of reports a few months ago about the lack of affordable rentals in the Orlando area. It was affecting people of all ages as well as different social classes. One program focused on affordable senior residences. There weren't many, and the wait list was very long. One little lady in her 80's finally had the chance to get into an apartment. She mentioned that her son was helping her with money for the rent.
On our "nextdoor" forum (which mainly consists of seniors in my area), I read about people trying to find roommates to share the expenses. Lots of them get part time jobs to help with their finances.
Program for veterans: You can get paid for taking care of a veteran in your home.
 
I know there are situations where bad things happen to good people, like job loss, fires, illness, divorce, death of a spouse etc... you just have to plan as best you can and many people find it easier not to do that.

I guess by planning I mean by saving that 5.00 you may spend on that cup of coffee or not buying that new CD , or taking that vacation,it is hard really hard to think of what if but in the long run it sure does save a lot of stress.Small things add up in the long run.

My husband is 16 years older than me and while he is still in pretty good health he has a birth defect and is aging, we bought a pre-planned funeral years ago and have our plots. While our friends were taking trips ,going out to eat etc we were paying for a preplanned funeral and we are glad we did.

We try and think ahead on everything and it has served us well but it is hard and takes planning and that is why people won't do it. It is no fun to have to do that.I know too many people who can't retire because they did not plan and did other things and now are in their 70+years and still working.A little planning now can save you a lot of worry and stress later.
 
hollydolly said:
you're new to the forum, so you won't know that 2 years ago, I was left financially in the lurch... when my husband left suddenly .. no warning.. nothing.. marriage one day.. none the next.. It's been a horrific time.

he was always the one who dealt with all the maintenance in the home, and also the one who had the direct debits to pay the bills...

The last time I paid bills myself was before we married and I sent cheques.. or paid at the post office.. never electronically.. so I've had to learn all that myself since he's been gone ... and fortunately I knew how to handle a screwdriver and hammer since I was very young.. but he did all our plumbing and electrics, so since he's been gone I've had to find people who are affordable to do these things for me..

So.. really if you're in a comfortable marriage.. as I was.. don't think for one minute this won't or couldn't happen to you...I never expected to be living alone at 68...
Click to expand...
Thanks for writing that. It’s exactly what I mean. You honestly just never know what will happen.
 
hearlady said:
This is a good thread and I've a feeling that although Theresa appreciates the thoughts and suggestions, she would like that her thread moves on to here and off her personal situation. Just my guess.
When we were staying in a hotel in Durham there was a woman sleeping in her car when we pulled up. Later we saw her having breakfast there at the hotel. She seemed friendly. I'm pretty sure she lived in her car and found resources to get by. I believe it happens
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That’s why I about starting a separate thread, Theresa brought up a valid point. I hope a lot of people read this.
 
Rents are skyrocketing in Reno which has increased our homelessness. Many people are renting out bedrooms in their homes for extra money and it’s much cheaper to rent one than pay for an apartment. This has been a win for both parties.

I didn’t expect to get divorced at 66 but my husband became a serial cheater and I grew tired with it. My income was cut in half when I divorced him. I couldn’t afford to stay in the house without a roommate and don’t want to live with anyone. Also I didn’t want to stay in the house.

I wanted to stay in Reno so knew I had to buy a condo to secure my ability to stay. I bought a small 2 bedroom condo and love it. I would have lived in a studio before living with anyone.

I have seen many sad situations that were no one’s fault throughout my years working with people with disabilities. None of us are immune from homelessness unless we become very rich.
 
Senior homeless is a very sad reality. Unfortunately the numbers are increasing. I've always been a "what if" person so even though I own the unit I live in, I have wondered what if the place catches fire or blows up. Not so far fetched since we had a gas leak more than once that occurred in two connecting buildings. The fire department was called here twice, we had to evacuate until cleared, but only for a couple of hours. Each apartment wound up having holes knocked in the kitchen walls to find and repair the source of the leak(s). Plus a house about 1.5 miles away blew up with only minutes to spare before getting the last residents out and I've seen several other reports of this happening.

I've also seen several reports of apartment buildings being declared uninhabitable due to structural damage, one a couple of towns over. I always said I'll live here until I die unless there's a catastrophe. So I made plans first A then found out I need a plan B after Superstorm Sandy happened and I couldn't get to my plan A destination, almost two hours away, because that area was affected too.

One of my weird hobbies is periodically checking apartment listings. I started doing that when I was going to turn the apartment over to my honorary daughter (mother of my two youngest grandchildren) almost a decade ago because she was struggling to pay her rent. What we pay as co-op owners is about 36% of what other housing costs are in the area and even less of a percentage when considering other areas known for high rents. I found that there are sites that list most of the rents and when the apartments will be available, some within a month.

So if I found myself homeless, and now I have to consider our cat, I'd probably rent an all suite hotel room (if I haven't had her declared an emotional support cat so I could stay at our timeshare) and live there until I could find an apartment. If I had to leave due to a fire, explosion or massive property damage, my renters insurance would pay for the hotel. I'm not sure for how long, but probably at least a couple of months.
My tip is saving as much money as you can, check out all available resources and aid and make a plan and a back up plan.
 
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I bought this place and when I was viewing it the lady in residence (named Sue) (who the E.A. described as a 'renter') told me that she wasn't a 'renter'.
She'd lived in the property for roughly 20yrs with her partner (the owner).
He'd bought the place when it was first built (many years ago) and him and his wife brought the family up there.
Eventually his wife died and the kids were now both married and had their own families.

Prior to Sue moving in with him, she'd owned her own small house and met him when he repaired her boiler. They quickly gelled, she sold her house and moved in with him
They spent her money from her house sale on yearly cruises and holidays.

Fast forward. Eventually he died of cancer. Unfortunately they'd never married and he hadn't made a will.

The kids came on the scene, told her to move out as they were selling the place. They barely gave her any money from the proceeds of the sale and she ended up in a tiny flat, in a lousy area, and ended up claiming benefits.

The moral of the story, make sure if you are unmarried and with a long term partner with a family, that there is a will in place.
 
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Yes, think it would be very prudent to check the available resources in your area for help "Before" you need it. Churches and aging organizations are good places to ask. Don't forget your neighbors, who often may want to help you in tough times if they can. OneEyedDiva mentioned gas leak possible issues and keeping up with the local apt. listings.

3 years ago, after the "big Texas freeze"-

We drained the pipes and called up our fav hotel - Holiday Inn Express - and got a room for the week. We found out they have weekly and monthly rates that are very "accommodating" if anything major should happen. Sneaked the cat in a carry bag (found out they allowed pets later) and we all had a nice short 3 day vacation. Turned out the water went out at the hotel, too and we had to bucket from the swimming pool for a day or so...lol. I wrote the house shutdown directions in a book I keep in case it is needed. Son sure would need it.

Best to think about things like that to try to be prepared even if you are married. We didn't.
 
Daisy99 said:
Tips on preparing ourselves for the worst.
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When it isn't me I think getting insurance is a great plan to prepare for the worst (such as long term care insurance etc), but I find it really hard to buy any un-mandated insurance, it feels like wasting my money. Partly that is probably normal human 'won't happen to me' inability to understand odds and risks, and partly it is because my mom spent a ton of money each year on her long term care insurance, then she died without using it.

When I was working it was easy and not too expensive to get life insurance, long term disability extra insurance, legal insurance, etc. But now that I'm retired (since last year) and moved to a different state and chose only minimum insurance coverages, I am probably excessively vulnerable to random bad luck.

I didn't even pay for the travel insurance for the little trip I went on yesterday, but the person on the other side of the bus aisle told me her sister did buy the insurance and then got sick the night before, so she was only out the $24 of the insurance and the trip price would be refunded to her.
 
HoneyNut said:
When it isn't me I think getting insurance is a great plan to prepare for the worst (such as long term care insurance etc), but I find it really hard to buy any un-mandated insurance, it feels like wasting my money. Partly that is probably normal human 'won't happen to me' inability to understand odds and risks, and partly it is because my mom spent a ton of money each year on her long term care insurance, then she died without using it.

When I was working it was easy and not too expensive to get life insurance, long term disability extra insurance, legal insurance, etc. But now that I'm retired (since last year) and moved to a different state and chose only minimum insurance coverages, I am probably excessively vulnerable to random bad luck.

I didn't even pay for the travel insurance for the little trip I went on yesterday, but the person on the other side of the bus aisle told me her sister did buy the insurance and then got sick the night before, so she was only out the $24 of the insurance and the trip price would be refunded to her.
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I took out LTC insurance when I retired. One less thing to worry about.
 
I remember reading once that people who don't plan for the worst live by "suspension of disbelief". They don't wear a seat belt because they're only going to the store, they don't plan for retirement because it's forty years away, they don't prepare a will because they're only thirty. They choose to ignore the belief that the bad will happen, and it can happen today, right now.

Prudent people hope the worst case scenerio doesn't happen but know damn well it may, so plan accordingly. Truly it's more than planning for the worst, it's planning for all the little bumps life can throw at you.

Many many times when I hear tales of woe, including people losing their homes, I see ways it all could have been avoided.
 
Daisy99 said:
I had a neighbor who wasn’t in the best of health. When her husband retired, he opted for a larger monthly pension rather than the leaving his wife with a pension if he should die first. He didn’t tell her. Additionally, she agreed to a second mortgage so he could buy himself a Harley!

Well, you guessed. He died unexpectedly of a blood clot after surgery.
Click to expand...
I used to work in employee benefits and I forgot what year this is no longer possible without the spouse signing and agreeing to this. So either it was before the law changed or she agreed.
 
katlupe said:
The apartment building I live in is the last stop before being homeless. And there is a waiting list.......a long one. It is subsidized for seniors and the disabled and you have to meet certain income standards. Because of the waiting list people become homeless waiting. Some have to wait more than a year. Getting your name on the lists of all the apartments in your area before you need one is a good idea. If your name comes up and you aren't ready to move just pass on it that time. Make sure your name stays on the list though.

Especially important for couples due to being dependent on a joint income.
Click to expand...
Very true that's how it works. And of course seniors on a Fixed income can't afford regular rents anywhere from 900 to 3000 a month in some places. And then if you add on electricity and gas And, of course rent raises yearly in some states don't have caps on that. and food of course, Waiting lists are extremely long. Hopefully you'll live to get in one. Unfortunately, that's how it works. And then. you better hope you don't make too much money to qualify Like if all of us seniors make so much money.
 

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