How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times?

I have my "T.I.H.I.I. Theory" that I try to live by. That stands for "This.Is.How.It.Is."

I wasn't supposed to be a widow at 58.

My dad was supposed to live to a ripe old age.

I miss my mama.

I miss my sister. She wasn't supposed to be run down in the street by a drunk driver at 65.

I shouldn't have lost the use of my right eye.

I wasn't supposed to have a bad liver.

But, y'know........I was, and he didn't, and they're gone, and the eye and the liver probably aren't going to improve AND .....T.I.H.I.I......This Is How It Is. I can either weep and wail and curse the Powers That Be for my sorrows OR I can put on my big girl Fruit of the Looms and make the best of it that I can.

In Victorian times, it was acceptable for a woman to "go into a decline" and withdraw from life. Some never again left their boudoir. We don't have that luxury anymore. We have to forge on. All the mourning in the world isn't going to bring your loved ones back or reverse your misfortunes.

We have to make do with what we have and rebuild our lives.

OK, off my soapbox. We'll now return to our regular program.
 

How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times?​


Most times I work thru things
Zero mental application

After chopping a cord or two of wood...I become very grateful....for the physical rest

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and

after all that, I find I breathe better

Deep breathing is very mentally therapeutic

If things become naggy and hangy.....I pray

It's a bigger...better help

I've found, of late, I don't need to chop near as much wood when I do that
 
Sometimes when I'm feeling like I'm facing a brick wall I try to separate what I have to do now, and what I could put off for another day.

I get done what absolutely must be done and then I rest, divert my mind and reset. Then the next day whatever is left, gets done.
Llynn said:
I don't dwell on it, I just do it.
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Then, there's this^^^
Just psych myself and power through.
 
Jules said:
Take a deep breath and keep going. The best thing is to remind myself that many others have worse issues.
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I'm a bit like that too. I remind myself that suffering is pretty universal. Everyone experiences suffering. I remind myself that I am not special in my suffering even though I am hurting. Somehow this thought makes a difference and allows me to keep going.
 
I've gone through many hard times in my life , and despite the hardship or pain I've had no choice but to continue on... I'm going through one of the most difficult times in my life at the moment and have been for the last few weeks .. this has got me struggling the most of everything I've been through... but with the help of 2 very dear friends ...who just listen and advise where they can and have been my absolute rock , ...my dear daughter.. and some outside help from proffesionals ..,and of course you all on here who without you to distract me from my thoughts with fun threads and other things to think about ( even though you didn't know you were helping) :sneaky:..., I would have probably lost my sanity..... so ...I'm slowly learning to come to terms with things !!
 
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Sometimes when I get overwhelmed it is a major accomplishment just to get through the next second. What I try to do is stop, take a breath, and do the next most important thing. Here is an example. I wake up. OK that is done. What is the next most important thing I need to do? Get out of bed. OK now what? Get dressed. Done that. Whats next? Use the bathroom. Make breakfast ,clean up the mess. So on and so forth. I concentrate on these things one at a time not really thinking to far ahead. Next thing I know I am thru it and on the other side. Another thing that helps me tremendously is saying the Serenity Prayer. Sometimes I have to say it over and over again. I almost forgot. Another thing that works is getting out of myself by helping others. Sometimes that can be as easy as a phone call.


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I write and listen to music. I have been going through a tough time this month and it is a struggle. I can't give up though. So I just have been talking it through with a professional and writing about it. I too, always remember that there are many people a lot worse off than me. I pray a lot and reading my Bible helps too.
 
Wait for it....I was lost when the love of my life died an untimely death. I was instantly a widow, a mother AND father, and the owner and CEO of a company I knew nothing about.

A woman my age from the church knocked on my door. The first thing she said to me was, "I'll get the children ready for bed and read them a bedtime story while you go upstairs and and make a priority list of to-do's. My list was 3 pages long. I was overwhelmed beyond belief.

Here it is....She looked at the 3 pages of to-do's and said to me, "Oh this is no problem. Do what you can even if it's only 3 things a day. And what doesn't get done is okay no matter how important it is. Important things are going to slip through the cracks and you will pay some natural consequences for it, but life will continue on despite some failures along the way. You and and your children will go forward and you will make it.

She was right. 30 years later and...We made it!

BTW...the next day a man from the church knocked on my door carrying a Tool Kit. He asked if I needed anything to be fixed. When I joined the church I had no idea I would have such a caring support group. A support group is important.
 
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I find quiet time to myself and; either go out and browse a used book store and buy a few books; make a coffee and read a good book or magazine; go for a walk; find a quiet, alone place and cry and as a last resort - log onto this senior forums and read how many are having a harder time than I am - this always lifts my spirits and makes me thankful!
 
I use reframing. I imagine how things could be worse, and then I’m glad for the set of circumstances that I have. As someone once said, things aren’t ever so bad that they couldn’t be worse…
 

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