How do you feel about or deal with ex -in laws

Jeni said:
I am trying since my case is not parents .......but the ex spouse of my child.

.... the person was like a child to me ...
i bonded hard with all my kids chosen partners not only for my kids sake but to not have any issues with them as i had seen happen in many families ..... now there is just a void where there once was a friend/ child. I miss their humor and presence ...
i also feel i will not bond with any future partner with this child....... as i see much of the downfall in marriage was my child's doing.
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I also bonded well with my ex son-in-law and was a little devastated by their break up. He dated my daughter ever since she was 15 years old and they were married for about 15 years. Now our relationship has just become "polite" which is sad, considering his family and I still get along so well.

My daughter has a live in boyfriend for the past 5 years that I just don't feel any connection with at all. I don't dislike him, but I don't especially like him either. I can't come up with a word that describes how I feel. The word "nothing" comes to mind. But he's good to her, so I guess that's all that matters.
 

My parents stayed on good terms with my brother's wives after the divorces. Luckily my brother and his exes had amiable relationships (at least at family gatherings). I'm too much of an introvert to initiate any contact but I'm always happy to hear from my ex-sister-in-law if she calls.
 
When I divorced both of my x's, I didn't stay in contact w/my in laws. There really was no reason to, they were no children involved. Their siblings all lived out of town.
I'm only still in contact with my sister in law, my brother's first wife.

I'm friendly with his current wife, but we never see each other.
I don't see him either...his choice.
 

I miss my ex inlaws. Losing them and the nieces and nephews was another casualty of divorce.
See my brother's ex at events involving his daughters and grandchildren, but we are polite only. At fmily reunion time it is always difficult to determine if ex's will be welcome.
 
Jeni said:
I am trying since my case is not parents .......but the ex spouse of my child.

.... the person was like a child to me ...
i bonded hard with all my kids chosen partners not only for my kids sake but to not have any issues with them as i had seen happen in many families ..... now there is just a void where there once was a friend/ child. I miss their humor and presence ...
i also feel i will not bond with any future partner with this child....... as i see much of the downfall in marriage was my child's doing.
Click to expand...
I would not want to lose contact with my SIL, if they decided to split up.
 
When family members split up it affects everyone. My brother in law got divorced a couple of years ago. Sadly I really liked his wife. We got along great . We used to write to each other all the time snd did so for years. Now I have to be extra careful about what I say.

The brother in law has a new partner who has her own younger kids. Itā€™s like he suddenly inherited a whole new family by simply falling in love with someone else.

Divorce and separation change a lot of things and the changes can be permanent. Itā€™s especially difficult when others shun a family member.

I get that sometimes things donā€™t work out between two adults but that shouldnā€™t mean I have to lose a friend also?

What do you people do when others break up and you happened to really like the person they broke up with?

Iā€™ve known this person for 35 years. I view her as a loving sister in law.
 

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