How Is Your Social Life??

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
At 82 I never expected my Social Life to be any where as active as it was just 10 years ago when I was 72. But now that I seem to have outlived so many of my former colleagues and friends and others incapacitated in one way or another I find my Social Life severely lacking. If it were not for going to a Great Grandson's third birthday party and all the doctors visits that I have had in the past couple weeks I would have NO SOCIAL LIFE. I am not currently sick or ill but have a couple conditions that must be monitored.
 

My social life leaves a lot to be considered...lol..I don't go out a lot. But I did go to the dentist today and I was sitting there and started thinking what if someone storms the dentist office with an AR15! Well, no one did, thank goodness. I don't need that kind of excitement. My social life consists of having penpals online and going to several forums. Occasionally the manager will have a cookout here and invite me and then generally no one talks to me. I do try to make conversation at times but then I get tired of trying. My best friends are my dog and 2 birds and that's okay with me. People let you down too often in my opinion.
 
Both of ya gotta look at it like you're still 17 inside... which you are. And will always be. You have exceptional life-experience and wisdom that you use to your advantage without really giving yourselves credit for applying, moment-to-moment. You can 'shape' it as personal charisma. People will wanna be around you when their lives are a struggle to them.

That way, you keep going and doing and being.
 

Lon - move to a 55+ community. Due to the disparity in life expectancy, it is said a guy who outlives his wife will never want for "casseroles".

I used to live in a community where the single women had made an agreement that any widower was "hands off" for one year. One woman cheated and stopped by at a guy's place with a casserole too soon - and was ostracized by the rest of the widows. But, she did end up marrying the guy.
 
Ray said:
Lon - move to a 55+ community. Due to the disparity in life expectancy, it is said a guy who outlives his wife will never want for "casseroles".

I used to live in a community where the single women had made an agreement that any widower was "hands off" for one year. One woman cheated and stopped by at a guy's place with a casserole too soon - and was ostracized by the rest of the widows. But, she did end up marrying the guy.
Click to expand...

Ray----I moved to a age 55 Retirement community when I retired at age 57. I had a home on a golf course and it was a great 23 years. Now I live in a age restricted apartment complex 55+ and I am one of the older residents. Here is the site.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XqNBeCkMX8
 
Lon, Have you thought about joining a group of like-minded people?


I've been a member of the Elks lodge for about 12 years now and tho I don't participate in EVERY event or function, it IS
a place to go and mingle (Especially @ the bar) with the brothers and sisters. (YES, Women can join also.)
I've been to the one in Fresno. It's a rather new building and well equipped. Go visit and talk to the members.
I'm sure they'd welcome you.
 
My social life is active still I go out sometimes with a couple of lady friends and I have some good buddies I see too. There's always a neighbor who wants to watch some tv and have a couple of beers if I get bored also take the dog for walks and talk to some people like that. Sometime I just like to be alone depends on the mood
 
Dupe Murkland said:
Both of ya gotta look at it like you're still 17 inside... which you are. And will always be. You have exceptional life-experience and wisdom that you use to your advantage without really giving yourselves credit for applying, moment-to-moment. You can 'shape' it as personal charisma. People will wanna be around you when their lives are a struggle to them.

That way, you keep going and doing and being.
Click to expand...
I am happy the way I am, thank you. Your post is interesting but imho people can go take a flying leap as far as I'm concerned.
 
Falcon said:
Lon, Have you thought about joining a group of like-minded people?


I've been a member of the Elks lodge for about 12 years now and tho I don't participate in EVERY event or function, it IS
a place to go and mingle (Especially @ the bar) with the brothers and sisters. (YES, Women can join also.)
I've been to the one in Fresno. It's a rather new building and well equipped. Go visit and talk to the members.
I'm sure they'd welcome you.
Click to expand...

Thanks Falcon----------I was a member of the Fresno Elks Club from 1968 (30 +) until I retired & remarried and started traveling extensively as well as living in New Zealand half of each year. Hearing loss has been my biggest problem with new social contacts. I have a 70% hearing loss which is service connected. As a young 18 year old Airman during the Korean War I worked on F86 Sabre Jet instruments and spent lotsa time on the flight line before protective head gear was required (Kimpo & Tageu). The last two years of my enlistment was instrument repair on SAC B 47's. & I think it was the 47's that did the job on my ears.
I am checking with some medical folk to see if I am a good candidate for a Cochlear Implant.

My little problem is minor in view of problems many of my peers have.
 
Keep us posted Lon.

I spent 2 years as an engineman in the Navy. My wife says I am going deaf. I tell her that it would help if she didn't mumble.
 
I found a women's group that meets every Monday, I'm free to call best buddy when I can...but social life? I can't seem to find time for what needs doin' never mind a social life. I would enjoy taking an adult school class or three. They have different courses each season. Something like The Greatest Battles of WWII, Highlights of the Civil War, Training Your Pup to Pass the Canine Good Citizen Test...It's hard when Painting 101 and Zumba don't do anything for you ya know?
 
Lon - well, it seems like you have made the right moves. I can see where that hearing thing would be a problem. Good luck with the implant possibility.
 
Lon said:
Ray----I moved to a age 55 Retirement community when I retired at age 57. I had a home on a golf course and it was a great 23 years. Now I live in a age restricted apartment complex 55+ and I am one of the older residents. Here is the site.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XqNBeCkMX8
Click to expand...

Nice. In my area there is nothing that nice for the 55+ group. There is a senior citizen retirement complex that caters more to the 70 on up but don't think that is the minimum age to move there. Just seems most are in their late 70's - 80's. They do have an assisted living wing for people who need additional care, but not to the nursing home type care. I wouldn't have a problem moving somewhere like that if I'm lucky enough to make to my 80's. They feed you a couple of meals a day and have shuttle buses taking you to where ever you need to go. And you have people your own age there to socialize with.

As for me, I'm still in good shape and play lot's of golf with buddies. Have friends I meet a couple of times a week for a beer. But as I get older.....I'm sure I will have a drop off in social activities too.
 
My wife and I are not "social" at all. I have worked away from home for many years. Living in hotels, I don't go out to eat and I certainly don't go to bars, etc. Pretty well spend my time reading books and doing crosswords/Sudoku. My wife works hard during the week and spends her evenings reading or watching baseball. We both kinda try to get the bodies back in shape over the weekend to face the next week.
My social life consists of playing golf with "the guys" on the weekend. We tee off at the crack of dawn so I'm back home, usually, by the time the wife is crawling out of bed. That gives us the weekend to do "honey do" tasks, grocery shopping, etc.
My wife's social life consists of staying in touch with kids and grandkids. She does not socialize outside of work and family.

One of my best golf buddies has to constantly be "socializing". He and his wife attend every funeral at their church. They go to mass 6 days/week. They go out to lunch/dinner with someone two or three times/week. I see nothing wrong with that if that's what "trips your trigger". OTOH, there is nothing wrong with being sorta a recluse if that better fits one's mood.

As with so much in this world, it's not necessarily "on size fits all".
 
Agreed, Grumpy. I personally enjoy people and doing stuff with people. It works for me and I do it. And that is the key - whatever floats your boat.

The ones I cannot understand or sympathize with are those who refuse to go out into the community and yet complain that they are bored and no body likes them. Yes, there are sometimes physical reasons - but that's not what I am talking about.

When I retired, I took up golf. Never really liked the game but loved hitting the ball around with the guys, exchanging jibes, having lunch and a coupla beers - again, with the guys, that was the key "with the guys".

Then I joined a community theater - again, people. I've been on the stage, behind the stage, up in the sound/light booth - it didn't matter, I am part of the team putting on the best production we possibly can.

That's the key - you want people, there are people out there looking to interact with you. You don't - cool, enjoy whatever you enjoy.
 
About those seniors only complexes. First, there two factions. There's always two factions. So there's constant bickering. I guarantee you if the complex is 30 years old, each faction has their own lawyer. Then there's the old biddy patrol. They drive up and down the complex looking for all kinds of infractions. My ex-girl friend lived in one of those complexes. The old biddy patrol left a yellow postit on her door. Her cat was seen looking out the window. OMG!!! Ya know I could take her being a crack dealer, but come, letting her cat look out the window. Well, you know why she's me ex. While I was with her the new rules and regulations came out. It was over an inch thick. If your grass was too long or too short, you got a $25 fine. I ain't gonna live in a place like that.
 

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