How much can I pay you to raise my Husband?

Sassycakes

Sassycakes

SF VIP
Location
Pennsylvania
My husband and I have been up since 6 am and he has been picking on me since we opened our eyes. That isn't anything new because he does it every day. I told him just to rest today and of course, he said no. His cell phone runs out of batteries all the time so I told him to take mine to the store and ask them to change our phone numbers so he would have the newer one, and he said NO. Then he talked to my daughter and he asked her if she needed anything because she was having friends over. She said she didn't want him walking around a store because his knees are bad. So I suggested he go to Swiss Farms and he can just drive up to the window, give them the list and they will bring it to him. Of course he said no. So if anyone wants him I will take out all the money in my bank account and pay you to take him.
 

Don't ask. Just do.
My late husband got like that after he retired. I think they might feel a little lost without a job. So, I would ask or let him know what was needed and then proceeded to get things done. I let him know he was more than welcome to pitch in,, but if it needed to be taken care of, I saw to it.
 

Reminded me of a good one:
A guy is watching a football game on TV & he doesn’t like to be bothered. His wife tries to do the laundry but the washer isn’t working.
She tells her husband “Honey, the washer is not working.”
He says “Do I look like the Maytag Man?”
She calls a repairman. After the repairman fixes the washer, the wife wants to go shopping but the car won’t start.
She says to her husband “Honey, the car won’t start.”
He says “Do I look like a mechanic?”
She tries to call a mechanic but there is no dial tone on the phone.
She says “Honey, the phone is dead.”
He says: “Do I look like A T & T?”
She calls a tow truck from the neighbor’s phone. The wife is gone for several hours & by the time she returns home with the car, the football game is over. Her husband says “Did you get the car fixed?”
The wife says “Yes, but after the mechanic fixed it, I realized I forgot my purse so I couldn’t pay him. Instead of money, he said I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him.”
The husband says “Did he like the cake?”
The wife says “Do I look like Betty Crocker?”
 
win231 said:
Reminded me of a good one:
A guy is watching a football game on TV & he doesn’t like to be bothered. His wife tries to do the laundry but the washer isn’t working.
She tells her husband “Honey, the washer is not working.”
He says “Do I look like the Maytag Man?”
She calls a repairman. After the repairman fixes the washer, the wife wants to go shopping but the car won’t start.
She says to her husband “Honey, the car won’t start.”
He says “Do I look like a mechanic?”
She tries to call a mechanic but there is no dial tone on the phone.
She says “Honey, the phone is dead.”
He says: “Do I look like A T & T?”
She calls a tow truck from the neighbor’s phone. The wife is gone for several hours & by the time she returns home with the car, the football game is over. Her husband says “Did you get the car fixed?”
The wife says “Yes, but after the mechanic fixed it, I realized I forgot my purse so I couldn’t pay him. Instead of money, he said I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him.”
The husband says “Did he like the cake?”
The wife says “Do I look like Betty Crocker?”
Click to expand...
Now this I love !
 
My mother told me that when she was married to my dad, early on, she would wake up cranky every morning.
He told her, "You have a choice, you can either wake up cranky or you can choose to wake up happy".
She said she changed after that and it lasted their lifetime. Sounds like your guy may not be as easy to change 🤷‍♀️
 
Sassycakes said:
My husband and I have been up since 6 am and he has been picking on me since we opened our eyes. That isn't anything new because he does it every day. I told him just to rest today and of course, he said no. His cell phone runs out of batteries all the time so I told him to take mine to the store and ask them to change our phone numbers so he would have the newer one, and he said NO. Then he talked to my daughter and he asked her if she needed anything because she was having friends over. She said she didn't want him walking around a store because his knees are bad. So I suggested he go to Swiss Farms and he can just drive up to the window, give them the list and they will bring it to him. Of course he said no. So if anyone wants him I will take out all the money in my bank account and pay you to take him.
Click to expand...
Sorry if I should know this - Did he retire recently?

If he did, oldman is right; ignore his criticisms. Plus, two things my mom did that kept the peace most of the time: Whenever he looks a little lost, ask Can I get you anything? Never scold him, just clean up what he messed up. Mom usually waited to do that til he walked away, or he'd bark at her, but if your husband doesn't mind it, go ahead.

Was your husband a crew-boss? Like, was he in charge of people? My dad was, so he was accustomed to keeping order and keeping people on their toes, he knew exactly where everything was, and it was his ass if anything went wrong, so he was tense and on-alert all the time. This was all a part of him by the time he retired, but he mellowed out after about 10 years.
 
I know someone who says that when she's finally gotten her feet up & is relaxing after doing a bunch of chores and her husband comes bouncing in all antsy and bossy, she asks him if he's bored and when he says "yes" like he always does, she says, "Cool, go get your tools and fix that shelf in the pantry [or whatever] that you keep promising to." She says it works every time; he says "Oh, uh, you know what; I've got stuff to do out in the garage" and away he goes.
 

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