How Prepared Are You for Your Final Plans?

Leann

Leann

Traveler
Up until three years ago, I was an expert at avoiding the whole final plans thing. I still haven't covered all of the bases yet but I'm making progress.

Three years ago my younger brother died unexpectedly. He was 57. There isn't a day that I don't miss him with all of my heart. His wife had died years earlier of breast cancer and they didn't have children. And there wasn't a will. It was impossibly difficult to deal with the loss of this wonderful person and at the same time make decisions about his home, his large collection of things, his assets and his debts. But my brothers and I got through it.

One month after his passing, I went to a lawyer and began the process of having my important papers drawn up...a will, power of attorney, living will. It was awkward and uncomfortable but only for a little while. Then I realized that by my doing this, I was alleviating my family of a lot of difficulty when it's my time to leave the planet.

I still have the funeral planning to do but, honestly, that is just too difficult for me. I'll get around to it but not for a while.

I'm also sorting through stuff in my small house because there is a lot I can donate to help someone else and my preference at this stage of my life is to live simply.

And last year I took out a long-term care policy. I wish I had done it earlier because the older one gets, the more expensive it is. But I have it now. So, when I can't live on my own any longer, my family has my permission to move me to a nice retirement center.

I finally feel like an adult. And it only took 62 years :)
 

Looks good and the understanding that leaving family members to take care of all the leagal issues is a plus in your decision making.
You might want to draw up a list of your assets and update it about every 6 months. Specifying who gets whatever is left spelled out, takes away any misunderstanding later on. Funeral expenses buried or cremated can be a major expense years from now. You have to ask yourself will I leave enough to cover everything? As hard as it is arranging that now is another great step in leaving your family free from trying to cope with their grief and decide what you would have wanted, or who is going to pay any uncovered expense.


You asked how prepared. Every legal issues is covered including what to do if found dead of natural causes. Our sons have copies of our wills. Funeral arrangements are taken care of. Our assets are updated every 6 months. Our sons are able to access our safe deposit box once we are gone. They are aware of what they need to do to process what they will receive. Cremation & the box that is used & plot are prepaid. Basically all they need to do is show up to say their last good byes. Then if they choose to they can watch the cremated remains be put into the ground. It isn't fun to discuss death and what all is set up, but once done that elephant in the room is gone the remaining time can be shared to the fullest.
 
Good for you! My mother insisted to pre-pay her funeral and we even went together to pick out a casket she liked. After she passed, it made things so much easier for me. Around the same time, she insisted I transfer her bonds into my name. Good thing I finally agreed to do it. By the time she had to go into a nursing home, Medicaid couldn't touch the money after her other assets ran out because the "look back" period had passed. I learned a good lesson from her so have put things in place for my son and grandson, who will most likely handle what needs to be taken care of. My DIL is squeamish any time a conversation about death, wills, etc comes up. But she better get over it because her mother is older than I am.
Anyway I did a will several years ago and have updated it twice. I did a living will about 9 years ago. My son has limited power of attorney on some of my investment accounts but knows how to move money from my bank, credit union and brokerage accounts should he have to if I wind up in a nursing home. I go over financial things with him and my grandson once or twice a year. I established a joint email with all the information they'll need to know in various documents and spreadsheets, except it's under an assumed name and none of our names are mentioned, instead they are coded. This is so if that email ever got hacked, it "ain't me".

Also I paid off my burial plot this summer, including the opening and closing fees. I have private insurance and retiree insurance. Small policies but since the plot is paid for, they should be enough to pay for the simple casket we Muslims prefer and the funeral home services. It was a blessing for me that my mom was buried in the double grave she and my father had purchased. He predeceased her. So I wanted that to be one less thing my son has to worry about. Hopefully I'll never have to go into a nursing home but if I do, my savings/investments should be enough to pay for it. I am ineligible for LTC insurance do to pre-existing conditions. I've been saving/investing diligently so I can go into a "nice home" too.
 
My wife and my final plans is paid for. My grand kids (Daughter passed) are our soul beneficiaries and just as I had to do when MOM died, they must dispose of my properties.
 
My parents are buried in NY. We have not been there for 25 years.
My Wife's father is buried in Greece and her mothers ashes were scattered in the Atlantic. So much for cemeteries.

We have arranged for our ashes to be scattered in the Gulf. A book of instructions for survivors has been compiled.
 
I have a prearranged funeral, a will and a living will indicating what to do nor not do if I am unable
to make decisions for myself. The prearranged funeral was a prerequisite for moving into this residence.
 
Thank you for all of your helpful comments. I think I still have some more work to do but because you have kindly shared info on the plans you've all made, I know what still has to be done. Thanks again :)
 
Good for you Leann. I just retired and went through hell when my parents died and my brothers and I had to settle the estate. I am the oldest and was named exectuter. It was just too emotional for me so I gave that title (legally) to my brother. He did not do a good job and we all pretty much didn't talk to each other for months and years. What a horrible experience. My last parent died in 2010. It took forever to settle this thing. And we did have a lawyer. Anyway, enough about my blah blah... Just happy for you doing the the right thing.God bless
 
Thanks Knight and UI have no problem discussing my death plans with my children and my better half. I want to be ctremated and the kids know what toi do with the ashes. pL,ease excuse my spelling errors because AI am typing in the dark.LOL
 
All plans are done. Don’t care where my ashes go, up to my daughter. Husband and I had a Family Trust drawn up less than a year ago. One of my daughters is in charge and I’m putting her on my accounts that I can and make sense.
 
Totally prepared. Got a lawyer, have Revocable Trusts, Living Wills, copies sent out to some family members. With the trusts, there is no probate and whomever is the survivor (wife or myself, or rest of family for that matter), affairs should be easily handled.
 
We have a trust and wills in place. There will be more than sufficient funds for us to be cremated. My husband and my ashes are to be commingled when the second one passes - our children can then do what they think is appropriate with our ashes.

(I made some jewelry for myself, my siblings and some close friends from of some of my mom's ashes. See below. We scattered the rest in places that she loved.)

Mom.jpg
 
I've left instructions with my wife and kids that I wish to be cremated and my ashes dumped in the Gulf of Mexico near the place that I was born.

I have also instructed them to keep my final services simple. Something on the order of the following. Except perhaps have it early in the morning before the wind changes from offshore to onshore.

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Trade said:
I've left instructions with my wife and kids that I wish to be cremated and my ashes dumped in the Gulf of Mexico near the place that I was born.

I have also instructed them to keep my final services simple. Something on the order of the following. Except perhaps have it early in the morning before the wind changes from offshore to onshore.

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Click to expand...

"All we are is dust in the wind..." - Kansas
 
As a U.S. veteran I find I can't do too much pre planning. Nothing can happen through the VA until you die. I've tried to assemble a notebook with steps for my widow to follow but as the years go by and numbers and addresses and policies change I have to annually redo the whole thing. If the gov't really cared they'd assemble an A-Z survivors guide WITH THE SPECIFICS. (But they don't, won't and never will)
 
We took care of final expenses years ago then set about preparing for old age, moving into town, buying a single level home (no stairs). Then I renovated it to assure us of a home for the elderly with grab bars in the shower/tub and other places where needed. I removed the wimpy low-toilets and installed high toilets that flush every time with grab bars to assist in getting up.

Whenever we found a great deal on walkers, scooters, and canes, we bought them assuming we would eventually need them. We even have a good pair of crutches. Now we're in our 80's and I'm really glad we did. It's called thinking ahead.
 
Timetrvlr said:
We took care of final expenses years ago then set about preparing for old age, moving into town, buying a single level home (no stairs). Then I renovated it to assure us of a home for the elderly with grab bars in the shower/tub and other places where needed. I removed the wimpy low-toilets and installed high toilets that flush every time with grab bars to assist in getting up.

Whenever we found a great deal on walkers, scooters, and canes, we bought them assuming we would eventually need them. We even have a good pair of crutches. Now we're in our 80's and I'm really glad we did. It's called thinking ahead.
Click to expand...

Good advice!

Your post reminded me of this comment by Randy Pausch in The Last Lecture.

“Another way to be prepared is to think negatively. Yes, I'm a great optimist. but, when trying to make a decision, I often think of the worst case scenario. I call it 'the eaten by wolves factor.' If I do something, what's the most terrible thing that could happen? Would I be eaten by wolves? One thing that makes it possible to be an optimist, is if you have a contingency plan for when all hell breaks loose. There are a lot of things I don't worry about, because I have a plan in place if they do.”
 
Timetrvlr said:
Whenever we found a great deal on walkers, scooters, and canes, we bought them assuming we would eventually need them. We even have a good pair of crutches. Now we're in our 80's and I'm really glad we did. It's called thinking ahead.
Click to expand...

You bought crutches, walkers, scooters and canes in advance of needing them? Interesting strategy.
 
We're prepared financially but I ain't ready to go yet. I plan to stick around for a long time. I'm curious about too many things to leave before I find the answers.
 

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