How Prepared Are You for Your Final Plans?

ms. gamboolgal and I decided ~6 years ago that we would take care of all preparations for when we cross over the Jordan so that our children would not have to make any decisions. We wanted to minimize the stress and angst for them.

We have seen some ugly dealings and goings on with families that were fighting over estates, monies, assets, etc.
We met with our Attorney to review and revise wills, trusts, Estate Plan and transfer of our assets to our adult children, Power of Attorney, Medical POA and Directives, etc. Every know legal instrument we could potentially need. We do the legal reviews every ~5 years or as needed.
Reviewed all insurances including Life Insurance policies and included in the Wills and Directives.

We purchased our Plots out in the rural countryside of deep East Texas in a old cemetery that we have family in and in fact we lived in the community out in the sticks when our son was a infant. We like the country.
We purchased and prepaid for both of our Funerals and all necessary arrangements required. All choices made, kids will not have anything to decide or to fuss over.
We purchased and had our Headstone sat in place out at the cemetery.

I will say that what I naively thought all this would cost was not even close. ha !
It is expensive and we did not get anything fancy at all.
Our total costs for both our Funeral home policies, Plots, & Headstone was ~$31K. Way more than I expected.
But it's all done and paid for.
That is monies well spent for us.
 

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My will is on file, updated when needed. My body goes to a med school where it will, hopefully, teach doctors in training something important and/or interesting. That's it

Grave yards are a remnant of the past, when our species discovered that if you bury something that stinks, your problem is solved. We can't afford to use livable space for those who no longer live. Add in the vultures in the Big Funeral Industry, and the whole death ritual trip is a scam that needs to go away.

Fertilizer is important, recycling usable body parts, likewise. Med schools, body farms to study natural decomposition, and other uses should make burying the dead unnecessary. Ultimately, cremation is the best way to minimize the hassle of dealing with the dead. Hmm.... and then there's Soylent Green.

Rest assured, I understand religious takes on death, and where bodies should end up, but that's a whole other topic.
 
I have no legal will, but have one handwritten in my little safe specifying that I am to be cremated and pull the plug if I'm a vegetable. My daughter already knows my wishes about that, the handwritten will is her ''proof''. She's my only child and will get everything that is left, her name is on my bank accounts and my two brokerage accounts as survivor. I have no debts and my house is fully paid for. I am not worried.
 
Hi Leann. My husband died earlier this year, and did not have a lot of final plans made. Left me with the challenge. Made me decide I am not going to leave others with unanswered questions.
We married later in life, and neither of us have children. I do have a niece, who has pretty much become my advocate. I have written a new will, leaving everything to her, and making her the executor. We have already discussed at length what I want done, as far as a memorial, (no service) and with me (cremation, scatter ashes). I hope to downsize a lot more, so she does not have to deal with possessions she does not want or need.
We have a lot more to discuss, but things are in place. I own my home, it is paid in full, and we have discussed what options she will have for selling it.
 
Marie5656 said:
Hi Leann. My husband died earlier this year, and did not have a lot of final plans made. Left me with the challenge. Made me decide I am not going to leave others with unanswered questions.
We married later in life, and neither of us have children. I do have a niece, who has pretty much become my advocate. I have written a new will, leaving everything to her, and making her the executor. We have already discussed at length what I want done, as far as a memorial, (no service) and with me (cremation, scatter ashes). I hope to downsize a lot more, so she does not have to deal with possessions she does not want or need.
We have a lot more to discuss, but things are in place. I own my home, it is paid in full, and we have discussed what options she will have for selling it.
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When we moved my MIL down to live with us years ago it was so easy. Just called the auction house and they had an estate auction. They got rid of everything, even the Wheaties boxes & pantry stuff. We put the house on the market and that was it. All done in one snowy March weekend.
 
Hi. Firstly im sorry to hear of your losses of loved ones and I know where you are at with grieving and its agonising. When my Husband died in 2015 suddenly and unexpectedly I had to cope with the practical matters from the offset.

I sorted my finanancial affairs out with the help of my Son and my bank. It went smoothly. I then sorted out the Will with the solicitor and paid for the services from the estate.
I drew up two LPA one finances the other health also wrote a Letter Of Wishes as to my personal wishes and this letter is not legally binding.

I was unsure of my funeral plan and privately niggled about it for a long time. Close friends suggested I pay outright for my funeral to save the rising costs and I did this and for me peace of mind.

Despite the shock of my Husband's sudden death I somehow was clear headed and with good advice have coped in a hard lonely world for five years.

I stayed in my house and quite okay with this but I do wonder what my future will be in terms of being on my own.
 
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I’ve already given specific instructions. The following June, take my ashes on a charter boat out of Key West. After catching two mahi, send me to join them in the weed line. If you’ve never caught mahi in a weed line, you couldn’t understand.
 
Skyking said:
As a U.S. veteran I find I can't do too much pre planning. Nothing can happen through the VA until you die. I've tried to assemble a notebook with steps for my widow to follow but as the years go by and numbers and addresses and policies change I have to annually redo the whole thing. If the gov't really cared they'd assemble an A-Z survivors guide WITH THE SPECIFICS. (But they don't, won't and never will)
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In your notebook be sure and put your SSN number, your V.A. number , Service number, if you are retired from civil service your CSA number, All Account Numbers, where located, just some ideas.
 
Leann said:
Up until three years ago, I was an expert at avoiding the whole final plans thing. I still haven't covered all of the bases yet but I'm making progress.

Three years ago my younger brother died unexpectedly. He was 57. There isn't a day that I don't miss him with all of my heart. His wife had died years earlier of breast cancer and they didn't have children. And there wasn't a will. It was impossibly difficult to deal with the loss of this wonderful person and at the same time make decisions about his home, his large collection of things, his assets and his debts. But my brothers and I got through it.

One month after his passing, I went to a lawyer and began the process of having my important papers drawn up...a will, power of attorney, living will. It was awkward and uncomfortable but only for a little while. Then I realized that by my doing this, I was alleviating my family of a lot of difficulty when it's my time to leave the planet.

I still have the funeral planning to do but, honestly, that is just too difficult for me. I'll get around to it but not for a while.

I'm also sorting through stuff in my small house because there is a lot I can donate to help someone else and my preference at this stage of my life is to live simply.

And last year I took out a long-term care policy. I wish I had done it earlier because the older one gets, the more expensive it is. But I have it now. So, when I can't live on my own any longer, my family has my permission to move me to a nice retirement center.

I finally feel like an adult. And it only took 62 years :)
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While it is a good idea to have your plans in place and written instructions for survivors, it is NOT necessarily a good idea to prepay. My mother and father are in a memorial gardens where the owners just landed a hefty prison term for stealing the "prepaid" funds that were supposed to be in trust and gambling them away (we are talking over $20 million dollars from the three cemeteries they owned).

Because I'm a sociologist, I was asked to do some research on cemetery fraud. I was astonished at the amount of theft and the lack of regulations that would enable it to be caught in a timely manner. Anyway, here is one article that explains just a few of the reasons to avoid prepayment. Hint, put the money in a fund that your survivors can get to to pay the expenses (and make sure you have a trustworthy executor).

https://www.fool.com/investing/gene...you-should-never-prepay-funeral-expenses.aspx
 
wrote in a book about my funeral' flowers I want song to be played 'message for my sons to read ect...but havnt told anyone ==dont wanna tempt fate LOL
 
Leann said:
Up until three years ago, I was an expert at avoiding the whole final plans thing. I still haven't covered all of the bases yet but I'm making progress.

Three years ago my younger brother died unexpectedly. He was 57. There isn't a day that I don't miss him with all of my heart. His wife had died years earlier of breast cancer and they didn't have children. And there wasn't a will. It was impossibly difficult to deal with the loss of this wonderful person and at the same time make decisions about his home, his large collection of things, his assets and his debts. But my brothers and I got through it.

One month after his passing, I went to a lawyer and began the process of having my important papers drawn up...a will, power of attorney, living will. It was awkward and uncomfortable but only for a little while. Then I realized that by my doing this, I was alleviating my family of a lot of difficulty when it's my time to leave the planet.

I still have the funeral planning to do but, honestly, that is just too difficult for me. I'll get around to it but not for a while.

I'm also sorting through stuff in my small house because there is a lot I can donate to help someone else and my preference at this stage of my life is to live simply.

And last year I took out a long-term care policy. I wish I had done it earlier because the older one gets, the more expensive it is. But I have it now. So, when I can't live on my own any longer, my family has my permission to move me to a nice retirement center.

I finally feel like an adult. And it only took 62 years :)
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This is a great post. With my sister tragically killed. It made me want to get my affairs in order... not an easy task to say the least..but necessary. My husband brother passed away and he had property, retirement funds, etc., which caused separation between the brothers and sister...it was a MESS. One thing I am going to do is to start getting rid of everything that I no longer use. My husband is constantly buying things that we really don't need. I understand that is his comfort so I don't complain about it. If he pass away before me.. once I sell some of the stuff, I probably have enough money to pay a couple of months mortgage.
 


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