How Successful People Handle Toxic People

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
Location
USA
I know I've come across a few toxic people in the workplace over the years. The ones who are always angry, and start complaining and going on and on about something they disagree with or don't like. I knew someone who always talked about the trouble she had seen, if it was sunny, she'd say that the rain was on its way. If you had a headache, she had a migraine, and so on.

Since I'm usually in tune to people's feelings, and kind of sensitive that way myself, I started to notice that my positive or happy mood was being dragged down by these people. In the case of that woman, she'd dump all her troubles for the day on me privately, and I started out empathizing with her, just for her to be laughing her head off about something with someone else, like her problems suddenly disappeared. My mood was definitely dampened for no good reason at all. I think she took advantage of a 'shoulder to cry on', even to the point of making things up.

I soon learned to consider the source with these toxic personalities, and not let their words and actions affect me. It took a little getting used to, but once I acknowledged the reality of the whole thing, it was easy to continue blocking out the negativity, and not get sucked into their dungeons.

Here's an article about this type of thing. Have you ever had to deal with a toxic personality in real life? Did they affect your mood, or were they able to 'push your buttons'? If so, how did you handle it?

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/successful-people-handle-toxic-people/

Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary drama, strife, and worst of all stress, which has proven to be harmful for your health.

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people and discovered that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain in control.

One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralize toxic people. They employ well-honed coping strategies that enable them to control what they can, and eliminate the rest. Here are 12 ways that successful people deal with toxic people:
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Oh yes I've known many..none worse than my current Boss. She is a toxic narcissist ..

She'd make a pot plant depressed..

I have always said...if the telephone rings or the door knocks and your immediate reaction is..''I hope it's not so and so''...then usually that means that the person is Toxic 'friend or relative', and you need to distance yourself from that person if at all possible. Toxicity is a poison, and it will destroy your soul!
 
Avoid whenever possible or keep your involvement with them as brief as possible...
 

SeaBreeze said:
I know I've come across a few toxic people....... Have you ever had to deal with a toxic personality in real life? Did they affect your mood, or were they able to 'push your buttons'? If so, how did you handle it? .......
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Yep, my mother. Mrs. Negative- I know-everything-more-than-you'.
 
A lot of people who seem to be or are angry/negative are that way for a reason. The reason could be medical and/or mental.........but, still, for a reason. Sometimes, I can even be that way and I will tell people, "the world isn't made up of positive stuff all the time". It is nice to have a "positive" mind, but it isn't necessarily reality.

If, somehow, people could find out why a person is angry/negative so much, those angry/negative people could be helped some way.

Just my take on the Thread.
 
I just recognise them as a character known as Hanrahan in an old bush poem.
Hanrahan represents people who cannot rejoice in anything, the opposite of Pollyanna.

Said Hanrahan
PJ Hartigan © by John O'Brien

"We'll all be rooned," said Hanrahan in accents most forlorn,
Outside the church, ere Mass began one frosty Sunday morn.
The congregation stood about coat-collars to the ears,
And talked of stock, and crops, and drought as it had done for years.
"It's looking crook," said Daniel Croke; "Bedad, it's cruke, me lad,
For never since the banks went broke has seasons been so bad."
"It's dry, all right," said young O'Neil, with which astute remark
He squatted down upon his heel and chewed a piece of bark.
And so around the chorus ran, "It's keepin' dry, no doubt."
"We'll all be rooned," said Hanrahan, "Before the year is out."

"The crops are done; ye'll have your work to save one bag of grain;
From here way out to Back-o'-Bourke they're singin' out for rain.
"They're singin' out for rain," he said, "And all the tanks are dry."
The congregation scratched its head, and gazed around the sky.
"There won't be grass, in any case, enough to feed an ass;
There's not a blade on Casey's place as I came down to Mass."
"If rain don't come this month," said Dan, and cleared his throat to speak -
"We'll all be rooned," said Hanrahan, "If rain don't come this week.

"A heavy silence seemed to steal on all at this remark;
And each man squatted on his heel, and chewed a piece of bark.
"We want an inch of rain, we do, "O'Neil observed at last;
But Croke "maintained" we wanted two, to put the danger past.
"If we don't get three inches, man, or four to break this drought,
We'll all be rooned," said Hanrahan, "Before the year is out.

"In God's good time down came the rain; and all the afternoon
On iron roof and window-pane it drummed a homely tune.
And through the night it pattered still, and lightsome, gladsome elves
On dripping spout and window-sill kept talking to themselves.
It pelted, pelted all day long, a-singing at its work,
Till every heart took up the song way out to Back-o'-Bourke.
And every creek a banker ran, and dams filled overtop;
"We'll all be rooned," said Hanrahan, "If this rain doesn't stop."

And stop it did, in God's good time; and spring came in to fold
A mantle o'er the hills sublime of green and pink and gold.
And days went by on dancing feet, with harvest-hopes immense,
And laughing eyes beheld the wheat nid-nodding o'er the fence.
And, oh, the smiles on every face, as happy lad and lass
Through grass knee-deep on Casey's place went riding down to Mass.
While round the church in clothes genteel discoursed the men of mark,
And each man squatted on his heel, and chewed his piece of bark.
"There'll be bush-fires for sure, me man, there will, without a doubt;
We'll all be rooned," said Hanrahan, "Before the year is out."​
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I'm firmly in the Pollyanna camp. My approach to this kind of Cassandra is to laugh at them and pity them for their pessimistic outlook.
 
I know I can be a bit grumpy at work sometimes. I think this is from the fact that I take work very seriously when I'm there. I've also had to do a lot of clean up from things others didn't do. And I'm not just saying so. It's true. And an administration that doesn't seem to care. Chronic problem everywhere it seems.

I know I used to follow this individual with an LVN license who prefaced every report with what a bad and busy day she had. Yet she was always out on time. I rarely am. I finally told her literally "stop prefacing every report with what a bad day you had. I'm tired of listening to it. You don't know what I have ahead of me" That gratefully shut her up and gratefully she now just does paper work and I rarely see her.

I'm not happy with the individual I work with two of my four days. I'm trying to figure out why no one else notices she spends so much time sitting at the desk. But in the end I have to worry about my own job performance only. Otherwise I really will go nuts on the job.
 
I enjoyed the poem Dame Warrigal. Yes, there are always people who seem to get a perverse something out of being miserable.I try to let it go in one ear and out the other.As opposed to genuine people in need of a sympathetic ear from time to time [as also opposed to all the time.]
 

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