Hi everyone! I'm new here and have been reading many of your posts and answers. I'm really delighted by how supportive and thoughtful this community is.
I have a situation that I'd love to get your thoughts and advice on.
I'm a single lady in my late 30s, currently pursuing graduate studies abroad. Life can be challenging when you're on your own, and it's easy to become vulnerable, especially when it comes to setting and maintaining personal boundaries. I've noticed that when life gets tough, my boundaries can become more flexible, and I sometimes find myself wavering on them.
There's a person at my university who has been flirting with me, but he already has a family. I'm firmly against any involvement with him beyond a professional relationship. However, I find myself responding positively to his advances, even though I'm not interested in an extramarital relationship, which I consider completely off-limits. It bothers me that I might just be an option for him, someone who boosts his ego by showing that he can still attract women. This dynamic makes me feel devalued and less important.
Professionally, I need to maintain a working relationship with him since we're both at the same university, and I may need his help and guidance from time to time. However, I feel uneasy about how comfortable we've become around each other, to the point where our interactions seem inappropriate for an academic setting. I've considered severing ties and focusing solely on my studies and research without his involvement, but I'm worried about how that might impact my work.
I'm struggling with whether I'm being too extreme in my approach—either staying cool with him or cutting off all contact—or if I should try to find a middle ground. Sometimes I try to pull away, but he always finds a way to maintain this casual relationship with blurred boundaries. For instance, we occasionally hug, but very rarely, he crosses the line in a way that makes me uncomfortable.
What do you think I should do in this situation? And why do married people flirt?
I have a situation that I'd love to get your thoughts and advice on.
I'm a single lady in my late 30s, currently pursuing graduate studies abroad. Life can be challenging when you're on your own, and it's easy to become vulnerable, especially when it comes to setting and maintaining personal boundaries. I've noticed that when life gets tough, my boundaries can become more flexible, and I sometimes find myself wavering on them.
There's a person at my university who has been flirting with me, but he already has a family. I'm firmly against any involvement with him beyond a professional relationship. However, I find myself responding positively to his advances, even though I'm not interested in an extramarital relationship, which I consider completely off-limits. It bothers me that I might just be an option for him, someone who boosts his ego by showing that he can still attract women. This dynamic makes me feel devalued and less important.
Professionally, I need to maintain a working relationship with him since we're both at the same university, and I may need his help and guidance from time to time. However, I feel uneasy about how comfortable we've become around each other, to the point where our interactions seem inappropriate for an academic setting. I've considered severing ties and focusing solely on my studies and research without his involvement, but I'm worried about how that might impact my work.
I'm struggling with whether I'm being too extreme in my approach—either staying cool with him or cutting off all contact—or if I should try to find a middle ground. Sometimes I try to pull away, but he always finds a way to maintain this casual relationship with blurred boundaries. For instance, we occasionally hug, but very rarely, he crosses the line in a way that makes me uncomfortable.
What do you think I should do in this situation? And why do married people flirt?
