How to win at life.

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
Let people do what they need to do to make them happy.

Mind your own business

Do what you need to do to make yourself happy.

The end.
 

Let people do what they need to do, to make themselves happy, as long as what they need to do does not interfere, and/or cause unhappiness, in the lives of other people.
 

treeguy64 said:
Let people do what they need to do, to make themselves happy, as long as what they need to do does not interfere, and/or cause unhappiness, in the lives of other people.
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And if that's the case, what would you suggest to solve that problem.

I'm not challenging you! It can be a real thing. I'm just curious how you'd deal with that.
 
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norman said:
Marry a gal that understands you.
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I've determined that I won't find my Ann Druyan, so I have to be content with a frightened child. At least this one doesn't attack me.

I will consider myself victorious when I am living self sufficiently with like minded people. The problem lies in finding those people.
 
I think the best advise was Ronni's:" Let people do what they need to do to make them happy.Mind your own business. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. "
We spend way too much time judging others by our standards, which we barely follow ourselves. If whatever they are doing isn't materially hurting you, who really cares. And if you can't figure out, by yourself, what makes you happy; for God's sake, get professional help.
 
Ronni said:
And if that's the case, what would you suggest to solve that problem.

I'm not challenging you! It can be a real thing. I'm just curious how you'd deal with that.
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Lol! I didn't take it as a challenge, rest assured. To solve the problem of people doing things that may interfere, and/or cause unhappiness, in the lives of other people (and here I'm referring to more than just irritating folks), we already have the solution: It's called law enforcement. AAMOF, even when people irritate us, like noisy neighbors, harassing ex-spouses, etc., the law does give us ways to restore our inner peace, if we're willing to pursue the same.

I only wrote what I did, in response to your op, because there are those whose happiness may come at the expense of others. An extreme example would be the serial killer who derives his/her happiness by murdering other people. We certainly DON'T want to let these types of people "do what they need to do to make them(selves) happy."
 
treeguy64 said:
Lol! I didn't take it as a challenge, rest assured. To solve the problem of people doing things that may interfere, and/or cause unhappiness, in the lives of other people (and here I'm referring to more than just irritating folks), we already have the solution: It's called law enforcement. AAMOF, even when people irritate us, like noisy neighbors, harassing ex-spouses, etc., the law does give us ways to restore our inner peace, if we're willing to pursue the same.

I only wrote what I did, in response to your op, because there are those whose happiness may come at the expense of others. An extreme example would be the serial killer who derives his/her happiness by murdering other people. We certainly DON'T want to let these types of people "do what they need to do to make them(selves) happy."
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Ok now I get it. Yes, in more extreme circumstances, I don't disagree that when you're dealing with the types of folk you're referencing, involving the police or the judicial system or mental health professionals is the only solution.

My take on what I said though was more personal. Folks who irritate me, friends or family who think they know what's best for me, or the reverse of that, me thinking I know what will help someone else.

In my Naranon group, it's called "staying in my hula hoop" meaning that anything outside of the pretend hula hoop surrounding me is not mine to control, and anything within it defines my own boundaries about what others can control for me.
 
Ronni said:
Let people do what they need to do to make them happy.

Mind your own business

Do what you need to do to make yourself happy.

The end.
Click to expand...

So wise! I had a tough time in my early 20s as a country girl transitioning from a small college to a big city so saw a counselor the year after I finished my undergraduate studies. During our work, he told me "you have to let other people 'have their stuff.'" It finally ...mostly... sunk in, and it takes away a lot of stress trying to 'fix people' or avoid them. And in the process, you become more able to accept your own quirks instead of trying to attain unattainable perfection. There are still some people ...narcissists, perpetually angry people, perennially offended whiners that I have trouble tolerating, but for the most part following his advice is liberating.
 
I have a much more basic approach.


I decide what I have control over and what I don't. I didn't always understand that concept, but once understood I'm at peace in my life.
 
While I was a young man, my Dad told me that to be happy I need to learn the lessons that will teach me, but the real secret of life is to know what you want in life and then make a plan with goals on how to achieve it.
 
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