How you doin'? Life as a Senior.

Boon54

Boon54

Member
I'm 71 and not sure if I should keep working (I teach architecture at a university) or retire. I find myself still interested in my work but not motivated beyond turning up and ticking the boxes. I enjoy teaching and working with students but not much beyond that. I still do some research and supervise PhD students but not enough to write my own papers. It's a job you can keep going without too much effort. I thought I'd do better than I've done and maybe these last few years (thinking of going until 80) may make a difference. Not so confident now after "trying" for the last 2 years.

I'm finding myself more easily tired (I should be exercising more) and perhaps more forgetful than I used to be (maybe, maybe not, I forget). I can't imagine myself doing anything else but maybe I will find something to keep me busy after I retire.

Not looking for advice, since everyone's different. But maybe you can share your own journey? Are you retired? At what age? How old are you now? I've got an arthritic knee, so maybe looking to do a knee surgery soon. Early glaucoma (maybe), so they're doing preventive laser treatment. I'm kinda worried about dementia. My uncle lived to 100 but was Alzheimer's for his last decade. What's good and bad for you now that you're a senior?
 

Haven't posted in a very long time. Was forced into retirement after a third round of layoffs at my company when I was 68. Upset initially as I had hoped to work until age 70, but my mother needed more care. Looked for part time jobs because I wanted to continue working . . . but it actually turned out that I only thought I wanted to continue working. I had worked for 50 years in paid employment as an administrative assistant and another 2 unpaid as my mother's caregiver/advocate. The caregiver part took a toll on me. She passed almost 8 years ago and although I check out part time jobs from time to time, I just don't have the desire to put myself back into the rat race.

I'm now 78 and am finding that medical wise I've gone from 4 visits a year (2 primary, 2 dentist), I'm now at a total of 14 visits per year for various conditions. Not for anything super serious but important enough that I unfortunately need to be controlled to prevent more serious effects. I had cataract surgery last year complicated somewhat by a condition called pseudoexfoliation; my other medical issues are all under control with medication.

I don't know many who aren't worried about dementia. My grandmother had unspecified dementia as did my mother, my dad had Alz. Nine people in my family on both sides lived to be 84 to 100, 1 with Alz.

The last few years I've been pulled into drama with my sister and her daughter which I can totally do without and keep praying that it will go away one day. That being said I am enjoying being retired. I'm an introvert and can keep myself occupied for much of my time with personal pursuits (reading, playing computer games, some social media, senior chat group, coloring and activities at my local senior center). I can't possibly imagine going back to work but rather now take the time I have left to enjoy the rest of my life.
 
Boon54 said:
I'm 71 and not sure if I should keep working (I teach architecture at a university) or retire. I find myself still interested in my work but not motivated beyond turning up and ticking the boxes. I enjoy teaching and working with students but not much beyond that. I still do some research and supervise PhD students but not enough to write my own papers. It's a job you can keep going without too much effort. I thought I'd do better than I've done and maybe these last few years (thinking of going until 80) may make a difference. Not so confident now after "trying" for the last 2 years.

I'm finding myself more easily tired (I should be exercising more) and perhaps more forgetful than I used to be (maybe, maybe not, I forget). I can't imagine myself doing anything else but maybe I will find something to keep me busy after I retire.

Not looking for advice, since everyone's different. But maybe you can share your own journey? Are you retired? At what age? How old are you now? I've got an arthritic knee, so maybe looking to do a knee surgery soon. Early glaucoma (maybe), so they're doing preventive laser treatment. I'm kinda worried about dementia. My uncle lived to 100 but was Alzheimer's for his last decade. What's good and bad for you now that you're a senior?
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WELCOME BOON! :coffee:

@Boon54 Hello, and welcome to Senior Forums. Glad you found us.

Your post sounds like your are addicted to work and need a cure. For many, retirement becomes that cure, over time. I wish you all the best!

iu
 
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LogicsHere said:
Haven't posted in a very long time. Was forced into retirement after a third round of layoffs at my company when I was 68. Upset initially as I had hoped to work until age 70, but my mother needed more care. Looked for part time jobs because I wanted to continue working . . . but it actually turned out that I only thought I wanted to continue working. I had worked for 50 years in paid employment as an administrative assistant and another 2 unpaid as my mother's caregiver/advocate. The caregiver part took a toll on me. She passed almost 8 years ago and although I check out part time jobs from time to time, I just don't have the desire to put myself back into the rat race.

I'm now 78 and am finding that medical wise I've gone from 4 visits a year (2 primary, 2 dentist), I'm now at a total of 14 visits per year for various conditions. Not for anything super serious but important enough that I unfortunately need to be controlled to prevent more serious effects. I had cataract surgery last year complicated somewhat by a condition called pseudoexfoliation; my other medical issues are all under control with medication.

I don't know many who aren't worried about dementia. My grandmother had unspecified dementia as did my mother, my dad had Alz. Nine people in my family on both sides lived to be 84 to 100, 1 with Alz.

The last few years I've been pulled into drama with my sister and her daughter which I can totally do without and keep praying that it will go away one day. That being said I am enjoying being retired. I'm an introvert and can keep myself occupied for much of my time with personal pursuits (reading, playing computer games, some social media, senior chat group, coloring and activities at my local senior center). I can't possibly imagine going back to work but rather now take the time I have left to enjoy the rest of my life.
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Thank you for sharing. It's very helpful to learn about how you're coping with aging and retirement. It's not as simple as I thought it'd be. My elders kept a lot from me. But I guess it's better this way. Medical care is good around here, though. At least, so far so good, lol.
 
Meanderer said:
WELCOME BOON! :coffee:

@Boon54 Hello, and welcome to Senior Forums. Glad you found us.

Your post sounds like your are addicted to work and need a cure. For many, retirement becomes that cure, over time. I wish you all the best!

iu
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Love the cartoon. I feel like I never finished school, lol. Nothing to show for it. Not even a shed at the back. Ya, I'm pretty much work and that's it. Thankfully, I've also got a wife and daughter who keep me distracted. Most other stuff, I can take it or leave it. Maybe I need a hobby, huh?
 
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Hi Boon,
Glad to have you with us. Maybe it would be best to keep working until you're more certain how you feel about this. It's hard to go back after retiring.
I retired early, which was right for me, since my wife had an illness and needed a caregiver, but everyone's situation is different.
It seems to me that fewer people opt for retirement these days. I have cousins who are well into their 80s, and still working.
Good luck with making the decision that works best for you.
Mack
 
MACKTEXAS said:
tEqwX1.jpg

Hi Boon,
Glad to have you with us. Maybe it would be best to keep working until you're more certain how you feel about this. It's hard to go back after retiring.
I retired early, which was right for me, since my wife had an illness and needed a caregiver, but everyone's situation is different.
It seems to me that fewer people opt for retirement these days. I have cousins who are well into their 80s, and still working.
Good luck with making the decision that works best for you.
Mack
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Good advice, Mack. I think you're right. It's easier to get out than to get back in. Thing is, I want to leave while I've still got my dignity and not escorted out by people in white uniforms, lol.
 
I've mentioned this on the forum before, but as you're raising the subject, I turned sixty last October and I'm struggling with it, still. In my mind turning sixty was the demarcation line, the point at which I turned old. At sixty there is no more, aging, getting older, etc.; you're simply old. That's it.

I was actually looking forward to this and expected to really enjoy being old. Instead, on turning sixty, I was poleaxed with a feeling of displacement and a sense of being lost within myself. I've said to my husband, multiple times now, "I don't know how to do this, be old."

It's all in my mind, of course; I know this. I've just got to find a way through this transitional phase and back to grounding, somehow.

Welcome to the forum. :)

Welcome.jpg
 
Medusa said:
I've mentioned this on the forum before, but as you're raising the subject, I turned sixty last October and I'm struggling with it, still. In my mind turning sixty was the demarcation line, the point at which I turned old. At sixty there is no more, aging, getting older, etc.; you're simply old. That's it.

I was actually looking forward to this and expected to really enjoy being old. Instead, on turning sixty, I was poleaxed with a feeling of displacement and a sense of being lost within myself. I've said to my husband, multiple times now, "I don't know how to do this, be old."

It's all in my mind, of course; I know this. I've just got to find a way through this transitional phase and back to grounding, somehow.

Welcome to the forum. :)

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For me, it was 70. I suddenly felt old when I reached 70. Until then, I thought I'd just grow older but when I got to 70, it kinda happened all at the same time. In particular, I lost much of my drive and I found I generally needed more time to do things I used to take for granted. I now take 2 to 3 hrs to get up. I get more easily flustered when rushed. More forgetful. But, it seems more than ever, living life is a conscious daily effort. I thought I lived life the way I wanted to, I was just coasting along, taking a lot of stuff for granted. But now, I realise I've got to decide, make a conscious effort to keep going, change my self-perception, etc. Thanks for sharing, Medusa.
 
Boon54 said:
For me, it was 70. I suddenly felt old when I reached 70. Until then, I thought I'd just grow older but when I got to 70, it kinda happened all at the same time. In particular, I lost much of my drive and I found I generally needed more time to do things I used to take for granted. I now take 2 to 3 hrs to get up. I get more easily flustered when rushed. More forgetful. But, it seems more than ever, living life is a conscious daily effort. I thought I lived life the way I wanted to, I was just coasting along, taking a lot of stuff for granted. But now, I realise I've got to decide, make a conscious effort to keep going, change my self-perception, etc. Thanks for sharing, Medusa.
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This post is so well put. I have experienced a lot of what you've described here. "...decide, make a conscious effort to keep going,"

I am feeling that too. Living used to be something that was simply happening to me. Now I am doing it with conscious intent; I have to. And I admit I am often asking why I'm doing it, I think because I am lost right now in the how. How to be old.

Not to be dark; I'll figure this out. But it is a comfort, in many ways, to know others have experienced, or are experiencing, what I am at this time in my life.

Again, welcome to the forum. :)

PS: Do you, or anyone here, repeatedly have the experience of thinking you're going to pop up from a chair or bed, seeing it in your mind, and the inevitable surprise at what actually happens? I'm still not used to that. Man, I need to get back to yoga.
 
Medusa said:
This post is so well put. I have experienced a lot of what you've described here. "...decide, make a conscious effort to keep going,"

I am feeling that too. Living used to be something that was simply happening to me. Now I am doing it with conscious intent; I have to. And I admit I am often asking why I'm doing it, I think because I am lost right now in the how. How to be old.

Not to be dark; I'll figure this out. But it is a comfort, in many ways, to know others have experienced, or are experiencing, what I am at this time in my life.

Again, welcome to the forum. :)

PS: Do you, or anyone here, repeatedly have the experience of thinking you're going to pop up from a chair or bed, seeing it in your mind, and the inevitable surprise at what actually happens? I'm still not used to that. Man, I need to get back to yoga.
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Ya. I think it's very common. Depression is common too. We lose the natural resilience of youth. Stuff happens and we're like, I don't want to do that anymore. It's as if most things are not worth the struggle.

I see it as nature (God?) preparing us for the inevitable. When we were young, we naturally fought back. As we get older, we naturally give up. Dylan Thomas has a lovely poem "Do not go gentle into that good night". I totally agree.

I don't see it, as a Christian, as going against God but as getting into a deeper relationship with Him. I talk to Him more, I depend on Him more. I let go of the future (I used to be so sure of myself) and just be glad of what I can do now. I try to develop a daily routine - exercise, diet, keep busy. Give the young 'uns a helping hand. The future is in their hands.

And learning, yes, learning, to see and appreciate every moment for its beauty and complexity. Especially those dark bits. Seeing the whole "plan" not just the good parts. I see more of Him and less of me. The Hidden Hand, as Milton Friedman calls it in the free economy, where everyone acts for their own benefit but ends up benefiting society.

So pleased to have your company.
 
Boon54 said:
Do not go gentle into that good night
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I've just read this. It's nice, moving, but I know it has depths I am not perceiving. Such is my way, or lack thereof, with poetry. I generally need it explained to me before I can really appreciate it. I thought I simply didn't like poetry, Shel Silverstein excepted, but on returning to school ten-ish years ago, I learned I just don't understand it well enough.

I think your daily routine and keeping busy, exercise, etc., is a very good idea and I need to get there, again.

You're going to like it here; the people are lovely and I can tell you have a lot to offer this forum. :)
 
Medusa said:
I've just read this. It's nice, moving, but I know it has depths I am not perceiving. Such is my way, or lack thereof, with poetry. I generally need it explained to me before I can really appreciate it. I thought I simply didn't like poetry, Shel Silverstein excepted, but on returning to school ten-ish years ago, I learned I just don't understand it well enough.

I think your daily routine and keeping busy, exercise, etc., is a very good idea and I need to get there, again.

You're going to like it here; the people are lovely and I can tell you have a lot to offer this forum. :)
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A naggy wife helps, lol.

With poetry, as with art, and most of life, there's nothing to explain. Just revisit it, as often as you need to or want to. It will reveal itself.

"Explanations" are simply another person's perspective, often built upon other people's as well. That's called learning, lol. The thing about poetry, art and life is, they're there to be enjoyed. And shared.
 
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Boon54 said:
A naggy wife helps, lol.

With poetry, as with art, and most of life, there's nothing to explain. Just revisit it, as often as you need to or want to. It will reveal itself.

"Explanations" are simply another person's perspective, often built upon other people's as well. That's called learning, lol. The thing about poetry, art and life is, they're there to be enjoyed. And shared.
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Well then, I enjoy and benefit from other people's perspectives on poetry. :) I'd go so far as to say I need them to help focus my lens.

My husband, boyfriend and adult son will all encourage me when asked. I haven't asked for a while; I don't think I wanna be encouraged right now, which sounds wallow-y, I know.
 

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