I am a kind person, a one of a kind person in search of former self.

Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed

Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
Location
Central NY
I used to feel empathy for people and their circumstance, regarding, health and end of life questions and concerns. I prayed for people believing my prayers were heard and responded to in ways I may never know. My faith in god, no matter who or what people believed, my prayers meant something to me and people I prayed for.

Two major surgeries, gall bladder, driving 5 days a week for 36 visits for TMS treatment, Transcranial magnetic stimulation and TummyTuck surgery plus breast reduction turned me into a grump. I was so busy being distracted by the pain and inconvenience of my situation I pushed everyone aside, selfishly caring for my own needs above all others.

I aim to be the person who will graciously receive satisfaction by serving people and their needs. Social interaction is limited to church folks and the library where I volunteered until recent surgery. It's a mindset serving people, not at degrading or subservient. it's a gift of observation, reading a person based on the unspoken information shared.

I was human once, I aim to be human again.
 

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm hopeful that your medical issues may have subsided, and I'm thinking it's time to continue taking care of yourself.

And I'm thinking that, if what you want is to be the way you were earlier, then you will be again — because that is what you want.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I used to feel empathy for people and their circumstance, regarding, health and end of life questions and concerns. I prayed for people believing my prayers were heard and responded to in ways I may never know. My faith in god, no matter who or what people believed, my prayers meant something to me and people I prayed for.

Two major surgeries, gall bladder, driving 5 days a week for 36 visits for TMS treatment, Transcranial magnetic stimulation and TummyTuck surgery plus breast reduction turned me into a grump. I was so busy being distracted by the pain and inconvenience of my situation I pushed everyone aside, selfishly caring for my own needs above all others.

I aim to be the person who will graciously receive satisfaction by serving people and their needs. Social interaction is limited to church folks and the library where I volunteered until recent surgery. It's a mindset serving people, not at degrading or subservient. it's a gift of observation, reading a person based on the unspoken information shared.

I was human once, I aim to be human again.
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I understand. I used to be nice, open and helpful. But after covid arrived and changed life so much, my health has taken a huge toll. Never have I been so constantly to the doctor's and hospital as much as this. I am anxious all the time and get very depressed. Wondering where my vitality and joy of living have gone.

I now focus all energy on me and have become a very private person. I wish I could be as I was again one day. But right now I just have no strength to spare for other people.

I am so grateful for this group as I feel at home here.
 
It's a mindset serving people, not at degrading or subservient. it's a gift of observation, reading a person based on the unspoken information shared.

this is the statement that drew me in - wot was that phrase in the beatitudes: "blessed or those who serve others for they too will be served with gratiousness and kindness and become themselves enriched"???
 
If we don't take care of ourselves physically and mental/emotionally we cannot be helpful/kind to others. Knowing our physical limits in particular are important especially as we age and have more health issues. However, it takes little energy to smile, hold doors (depending on the door) step aside and/or move a cart to one side so people can pass on grocery aisle's. And the reward is IMO greater than the outlay of energy. For one thing studies have shown it is good for our brain and bodies when we 'do' good. Actually the studies showed just thinking about doing good is helpful--so likely actually DOING kindnesses is probably more so.

And keep in mind that appreciating what others do for us spreads kindness as well as doing a good deed. Especially acknowledge children that hold doors, or help you pick something up. It reinforces what they've been taught. The other day at grocery store a tweenage boy (10-12) Offered to help me load a heavy bundle in my car and take my cart back for me. He and his Mom or Abuela had walked out same time as me and he likely saw me limping. i managed the bundle but thanked him for taking the cart back saving me steps that would aggravate my bum knee.

Also if an employee of anyplace you do business with goes 'an extra bit' to be helpful, either mention to a manager or call later and mention them. Most people are quicker to complain than compliment. But when i was working HR at UW i saw that positive reinforcement works on adults as well as on children. So i thank the worker at the time then 'report' their exemplary behavior to supervisors/managers later.
 
VaughanJB said:
It's okay to have "me time". We all need that. Without good health we really have nothing. Get well, and I'm sure you'll mend.
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I agree 100%! How can you truly serve others while recovering from major surgery?

And I don't see anything wrong with helping yourself to feel and look the best that you can when you resume going about helping others.

Guilt isn't at all useful right now.
 
Rose65 said:
I understand. I used to be nice, open and helpful. But after covid arrived and changed life so much, my health has taken a huge toll. Never have I been so constantly to the doctor's and hospital as much as this. I am anxious all the time and get very depressed. Wondering where my vitality and joy of living have gone.

I now focus all energy on me and have become a very private person. I wish I could be as I was again one day. But right now I just have no strength to spare for other people.

I am so grateful for this group as I feel at home here.
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I hope you recognize your old self when you see him.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I used to feel empathy for people and their circumstance, regarding, health and end of life questions and concerns. I prayed for people believing my prayers were heard and responded to in ways I may never know. My faith in god, no matter who or what people believed, my prayers meant something to me and people I prayed for.

Two major surgeries, gall bladder, driving 5 days a week for 36 visits for TMS treatment, Transcranial magnetic stimulation and TummyTuck surgery plus breast reduction turned me into a grump. I was so busy being distracted by the pain and inconvenience of my situation I pushed everyone aside, selfishly caring for my own needs above all others.

I aim to be the person who will graciously receive satisfaction by serving people and their needs. Social interaction is limited to church folks and the library where I volunteered until recent surgery. It's a mindset serving people, not at degrading or subservient. it's a gift of observation, reading a person based on the unspoken information shared.

I was human once, I aim to be human again.
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"I was human once, I aim to be human again."
You are human Mr. Ed. A human that's been through some things and hasn't quite arrived at the other side of them. 🕊
 

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