I am being ignored, and you know how much I dislike it, (not just here)

Mr. Ed said:
I agree 😊 What's your favorite treat, chocolate ice cream, chocolate candy, rhubarb pie, I know maybe an ice cream Sunday with all of the works piled on? Whatever tickles your tastebuds life is too short to be anything but happy.
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Vanilla ice cream bar, dipped in chocolate and almond coating...
 
Grahamg wrote, (abridged):
"These "so called friends" I keep going on about try to assume a dominant position in all circumstances to protect their own ego's I believe,...."

Gary O' said:
grahammy- You think waaaay past where I wish to go
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The "so called friend" who is currently going through a divorce certainly used to assert himself over his wife in the stereotypical manner I'm describing, and I have to have sympathy for his soon to be ex., having to cope with him, (she is above him by some distance in terms of educational ability and overall intellect).
 
I’m no counselor but perhaps a different tactic of communication may be in order? Have you tried being yourself without defending or thinking about, how in your eyes, you should act in various circumstance?

Your natural behavior without judging or looking for reasons to be disappointed?

No doubt life is hard and disappointing at times but it is up the individual how he/she perceives the world and act accordingly.

You choose who you are, what brings happiness and joy and what causes anger and distrust in your life.

I suggest you read or listen on YouTube “The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment“ by Thaddeus Golas. it will help you make sense of the body’s natural response to energy when you have positive or negative energy flow. It’s very interesting and I hope you will invest yourself into the text.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I’m no counselor but perhaps a different tactic of communication may be in order? Have you tried being yourself without defending or thinking about, how in your eyes, you should act in various circumstance?
Your natural behavior without judging or looking for reasons to be disappointed?
No doubt life is hard and disappointing at times but it is up the individual how he/she perceives the world and act accordingly.
You choose who you are, what brings happiness and joy and what causes anger and distrust in your life.
I suggest you read or listen on YouTube “The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment“ by Thaddeus Golas. it will help you make sense of the body’s natural response to energy when you have positive or negative energy flow. It’s very interesting and I hope you will invest yourself into the text.
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I'm sure you're right if you're suggesting positivity makes life run smoother for yourself and perhaps those around you, and in my career I've met and tried to learn from those who can sell themselves, or attract people to themselves in a sales setting just like magnets, (or they're magnetic personalities you might say! :) ).
However I'm not taking my comments back about my current lawyer, and those "so called friends", and their need to try to dominate those around them, (although I'm sure I go on about them, but they do deserve it). I genuinely feel sorry for the women who married them, not least because when you marry you shouldn't be trying to dominate the other should you, and it must be to their detriment psychologically, I think you'll agree there.
 
I wasn’t insinuating a retraction of expressing more so to consider alternative methods for handling unpleasant situations without being consumed.

I hope you are not offended by my suggestion, just trying to help. This is all I have to say on this matter. ✌️
 
[I'm taking Grahamg's thread as an opportunity to gripe about lawyers. Please don't tell me to be happy, it makes me mad.]

In my life I've had two experiences with lawyers, both times they took my money and supported the other side.

First time, 30 years old, working at K-Mart, getting divorced after a ten year marriage.

My husband told me he had found a lawyer who would support us both since we had no assets to divide, I wasn't asking for alimony or child support and we wanted joint custody of our son. He said it would cost X amount and I would pay half.

So I scraped up my last bit of money for my half and we went to court. The whole thing lasted about thirty seconds, the judge said the marriage was dissolved and my ex-husband had full custody of my son. Turns out that lawyer was only working for the husband, I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was out of money and couldn't afford another lawyer. Never mind, I didn't need a lawyer to tell me to raise my son, pay all his expenses and put him through college, (while the ex claimed him on his taxes every year.)

Second time, last year, my present husband and I went to a lawyer to have wills drawn up for both of us. My will would be different because of my son. After ignoring us for a few months he called my husband and said his will was ready, but I should go to another lawyer. I gave up.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I wasn’t insinuating a retraction of expressing more so to consider alternative methods for handling unpleasant situations without being consumed.
I hope you are not offended by my suggestion, just trying to help. This is all I have to say on this matter. ✌️
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Absolutely no offence at all, and trying alternative methods is wise, I'm sure you're right.
This business I keep mentioning about my "so called friends", their egos, dominance, etc., etc., I want to mention some very different people I know who have lost all confidence in themselves.

In my estimation they're intelligent and very caring people, who wouldn't want to offend anyone, (which is maybe the rub isn't it, being inhibited, or afraid to stand up for themselves very often). However, in the "dog eat dog world", those who protect their own ego's at all costs, are the ones my "timid friends" will encounter won't they, and to say they're unprepared is an understatement.

My own brother, as a young man, (and still today), had high self esteem, and talked about himself as being a "diverging personality", (I was "converging" in contrast was the comparison being made). However, put me amongst those I feel comfortable with, such as a "rugger crowd", (rugby union don't chacha know), and I'll freely talk to anyone.

Similarly those industries I have some knowledge of, including farming, I'm very comfortable with most individuals I meet, and my age seems to help me, plus you get known, are genuinely interested in the trade prices and so on.

It won't be of any interest to anyone here, but this week I believe I discovered an ancient wooden, or fibre and pitch drain, in use supplying a water trough on land another mate is now renting. Most farmers I know are scratching their heads as to whether I'm making it all up, as most drains are clay or plastic of course these days, but one friend who attended agricultural college knew of these wooden or fibre drains.
 
Della said:
his will was ready, but I should go to another lawyer. I gave up.
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Della, you didn’t give up making a will did you? If nothing else, get a pre-done kit will.

You can put a complaint into a legal society about this. Was he saying there’s a conflict between the two wills?
 
Jules said:
Della, you didn’t give up making a will did you? If nothing else, get a pre-done kit will.

You can put a complaint into a legal society about this. Was he saying there’s a conflict between the two wills?
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I'm not sure what the problem was as I just got the message through a receptionist, but I do have a kit will, I just wasn't sure if it was enough.
 
Della said:
[I'm taking Grahamg's thread as an opportunity to gripe about lawyers. Please don't tell me to be happy, it makes me mad.]
In my life I've had two experiences with lawyers, both times they took my money and supported the other side.

First time, 30 years old, working at K-Mart, getting divorced after a ten year marriage.

My husband told me he had found a lawyer who would support us both since we had no assets to divide, I wasn't asking for alimony or child support and we wanted joint custody of our son. He said it would cost X amount and I would pay half.

So I scraped up my last bit of money for my half and we went to court. The whole thing lasted about thirty seconds, the judge said the marriage was dissolved and my ex-husband had full custody of my son. Turns out that lawyer was only working for the husband, I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was out of money and couldn't afford another lawyer. Never mind, I didn't need a lawyer to tell me to raise my son, pay all his expenses and put him through college, (while the ex claimed him on his taxes every year.)

Second time, last year, my present husband and I went to a lawyer to have wills drawn up for both of us. My will would be different because of my son. After ignoring us for a few months he called my husband and said his will was ready, but I should go to another lawyer. I gave up.
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You know what you've gone and done,....., make my experiences with lawyers appear quite positive, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!!!!!!! :)
(apologies I'm not showing more sympathy for your legal troubles)
 
Okay, hallelujah, there has been one short email from the lawyer late in the evening.

It explains one aspect of the trouble we've been experiencing concerning the access to the previous lawyers notes, for some reason they'd been divided, (now we only have to wait for the other half of their bundle of documents to be found and checked, what do you reckon, take about a month?! :) ).
 
Della said:
[I'm taking Grahamg's thread as an opportunity to gripe about lawyers. Please don't tell me to be happy, it makes me mad.]

In my life I've had two experiences with lawyers, both times they took my money and supported the other side.

First time, 30 years old, working at K-Mart, getting divorced after a ten year marriage.

My husband told me he had found a lawyer who would support us both since we had no assets to divide, I wasn't asking for alimony or child support and we wanted joint custody of our son. He said it would cost X amount and I would pay half.

So I scraped up my last bit of money for my half and we went to court. The whole thing lasted about thirty seconds, the judge said the marriage was dissolved and my ex-husband had full custody of my son. Turns out that lawyer was only working for the husband, I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was out of money and couldn't afford another lawyer. Never mind, I didn't need a lawyer to tell me to raise my son, pay all his expenses and put him through college, (while the ex claimed him on his taxes every year.)

Second time, last year, my present husband and I went to a lawyer to have wills drawn up for both of us. My will would be different because of my son. After ignoring us for a few months he called my husband and said his will was ready, but I should go to another lawyer. I gave up.
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Hope you do not give up on yourself. I sat there crying while they informed me my case was not filed on time, while trying to give me a few dollars for the mess,

I just wanted them to leave me alone forever...lost everything

This past Monday had the awful no point in life feeling, trying to distance from that.

As soon as I can, plan to get a irrevocable trust to be done by document preparers in my area, no layers, I want it to go women's shelter
 
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